Friday, October 10, 2008

Gambling 2K8: Part Twenty (Betting on Central Florida?)


Memphis (+6.5) at Louisville

Explanation: Forget the fact that Memphis is terrible and Louisville is kind of okay. Also, forget where the game is being played. Forget all of it. When one of the teams involved lost to Marshall, and they're getting less than a touchdown on the road, well, we have to throw money on them. Can someone explain to me why the spread isn't doubled in this sucker?

Minnesota (+12) at Illinois

Explanation: Just because Minnesota is much improved from last year doesn't mean they're any good. Plus, this just seems like one of those games where Illinois gets healthy. Remember, Illinois swapped touchdowns with Missouri for four quarters...I really doubt Minnesota will offer much resistance. Another thing: Any time you wager on a team getting less than two touchdowns you have to feel like they have a shot of winning the game outright. With the Gophers, we know that's an impossibility. Hooray!

Mississippi State (+2) vs. Vandy

Explanation: The Fighting Sylvester Crooms have two things to be proud of: (1.) They gave up three points in a game, scored points themselves, and somehow managed to lose, and (2.) they only lost to LSU by ten points (34-24) after scoring a garbage TD with 00:38 left on the clock. Really, that's it. Mississippi State also lost to a crappy Louisiana Tech team (more on them in a minute). No matter how you slice it, MSU stinks. And Vandy...did you watch 'em last week? They lost their starting QB - the heart and soul of the team (or whatever) - early in the game and actually got better. Who woulda thought Vandy has two good QBs? Not me. Anyway, the 'Dores are good, and they have a feisty defense. Why they're favored by less than a field goal is beyond me. Goddamn Vegas.

Tennessee (+12.5) at Georgia

Explanation: The Vols have scored 6, 12 and 13 points in their last three, and they also have a loss to UCLA on their resume. Georgia, on the other hand is (a.) good, (b.) pissed off about the first-half egg they laid against Bama, and (c.) rested - the Alabama disaster was TWO WEEKS AGO! This is a blowout from the word GO. Naturally, we're backing a comatose Phil Fulmer.

Arkansas (+17) a Auburn

Explanation: I keep telling myself that Arkansas is too shitty to apply to the Brian Vickers System, and I keep coming back for more. Auburn isn't great, but they just fired their offensive coordinator, which means redneck extraordinaire Tommy Tuberville will try to justify the move with flea-flickers and triple reverses. Once again, backing the Hogs = we're screwed.

Northwestern (+1) vs. Michigan State

Explanation: Michigan State still has Michigan State players...and Northwestern still has Northwestern players, right? Right?

UC (-7) vs. Rutgers

Explanation: This is now the fourth consecutive week we've bet on a match involving the Bearcats, and we've only won once. Rutgers has been a recruiting force (relatively speaking) for three or four years now, and they have many of the same guys from last year's semi-decent team. Plus, they're a desperate squad with a competent coach. In my former life, my money is on them. This ain't my former life - I'm taking the Bearcats. Reluctantly. I mean fearlessly.

Central Florida (+17) at Miami

Explanation: What year is it? Is Daunte Culpepper leading the Golden Knights into battle? Or is this the same crappy team that lost just twelve days ago to UTEP, 58-13? Look, Miami isn't Miami, but they're most certainly on their way back. They weren't embarrassed at Florida, rolled A & M, blew it against a good North Carolina team and hung 39 points on a stingy Seminole defense. They have a 2-3 record, but they deserve a better fate. The Canes have a good young QB, and the players seem to have bought in to coach Shannon. I hate Vivkers. I love Vickers.

Southern Miss (+10.5) vs. Boise State

Explanation: I've seen no evidence suggesting that Boise State isn't one of the fifteen best teams in the country. None. They've pummeled every schmuck who came through Idaho and hung 37 on Oregon at Autzen Stadium. So, even though Hattiesburg, Mississippi may be a tough place to play - as a home loss to Marshall indicates - I can't imagine it being more difficult than Autzen Freaking Stadium. Sometimes I feel like we're just throwing money away.

Loisiana Tech (+7.5) at Hawaii

Explanation: Well, maybe I'm overreacting here. La. Tech did beat I-AA powerhouse SE Louisiana 41-26, and Hawaii had to go to overtime to win in the valley against No. 25 Fresno just last week... It's a good thing Hawaii doesn't have a .991 winning percentage on the island! This system is dumb.

(Note: Western Kentucky may get added to the list, but I need Craig's blessing. At the moment he's terrorizing an old man on a public golf course for no good reason. Regardless, I'll let you know before the game starts if we've added it to the list or not.)

Season record: 25-18

-Brad Spieser (