Saturday, January 31, 2009

blacks and whites playing basketball!

Saturday Vickers...


Georgia Tech (+7.5)
vs. Wake Forest

West Virginia (+6) vs. Louisville

Mississippi State (-8.5) vs. Old Mississippi

Purdue (-12) vs. Michigan

Samford (+15) vs. Davidson

Iowa State (+9) vs. Oklahoma

Indiana (+7) vs. Buckeye

LSU (-10) vs. Bill Clinton

Washington (+6) at Arizona State

Marshall (+5) vs. UAB

Portland (+4) vs. St. Marys


76ers (-8)
vs. Nets

Grizzle (+10.5) vs. Lakers

Bucks (-1) vs. Hawks

Blazers (-9.5) vs. Jazz

Yesterday: 0-2-1
Overall: 271-244-14

-Brad Spieser (

Friday, January 30, 2009

It Won't Be Long Til Georgie's Part Of My Universe

Every couple of days I'm reminded that it's "X number of days until pitchers and catchers report." And even though I basically hate baseball, those words will always excite me, but now for a different reason: George Grande will be on my Quasar television screen shortly, and goddamn do I love making fun of that idiot. And I promise you he will know of this very decent Internet website before the All Star break. (And by the way, if you thought I was merciless this year, I can guarantee I'll take things to another level this year.)

Just thought you needed to know where my head was at the moment.

Friday's Vickers...


76ers (-10)
vs. Wizards

Pistons (+5.5) vs. Celtics

Timberwolfs (+6.5) vs. Lakers

Yesterday: 2-3
Overall: 271-242-13

-Brad Spieser (

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Making Fun Of Alan Cutler

I spent the last thirteen-and-a-half minutes Googling the following: "Alan Cutler is a loser," "Alan Cutler is a shithead," "Alan Cutler is an embarrassment to his profession," "Alan Cutler works for free," "Alan Cutler has no friends," "Alan Cutler laughs at his own jokes," "Alan Cutler studies the game of baseball," "Alan Cutler has studied the game of baseball for fifty-plus years," "Alan Cutler has a mustache" and "Alan Cutler is talented."

Unfortunately, nothing came up. The only thing worse than be hated is being ignored.

Thursday night Vickers...


Magic (-4.5)
vs. Cavs


Iowa (+6)
vs. Michigan State

Virginia Tech (-1) vs. Clemson

Gonzaga (-9) vs. St. Mary's

UCLA (-9.5) vs. Cal

Yesterday: 7-2
Overall: 269-239-13

And just or the hell of it, here's a bit more of Alan Cutler acting like an idiot (a.k.a. himself)

-Brad Spieser (

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Snow Is For Morons

Since the law won't allow me to shove my nieces and nephews down the steps, I have no other choice but to go back in time and execute the same violent act on my nine-year-old self.

Nothing is cool about snow. Nothing. I don't won't to play in it, and I sure as shit don't want to shovel it. Ask the drooling neighbor kid.

Wednesday's Vickers...


Thunder (-7)
vs. Grizzly Bears


Providence (-2)
vs. Syracuse

West V (-17) vs. St. Johns

Villanova (+3.5) vs. Pitt

Tennessee Chattanooga (+10.5) vs. Dave Davidson

Bearcats (+5.5) vs. G'Town

Nebraska (+4) vs. Kansas

Florida (-16) vs. Georgia

Florida State (+12) vs. Tar Heels

-Brad Spieser (

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Five Things...

1. Overrated and whatnot: Alice in Chains, Mike Tomlin, Raging Bull, naked girls, Chuck Taylor's, Lance Armstrong, Kate Hudson's posterior and Kid A.

2. Underrated and whatnot: Jeff Blake, Anna Kournikova, In Utero, chocolate milk, High Fidelity (the movie), muenster cheese and tennis.

3. Fact: Thumb wrestling has its own Wikipedia page.

4. Fact: Cracker's "Low," unquestionably one of the top 85 rock hits of the 90's, does not.

5. If queried, I'd tell you Kings of Leon's "Sex on Fire" is one of the twenty most annoying sounds to ever come out of my radio, and yet, I listen to it from beginning to end every time. At some point I'll have to classify this piece of music as something I really enjoy.

***Bonus round***

6. Wendy's five-piece chicken nuggets are no longer a 99-cent item. Fuckers.

Do you feel smarter? Are you ready for the Tuesday night Vickers? I thought so.


Maryland (-5) vs. Boston College

Baylor (-1) vs. Texas

Utah (-4) vs. BYU


Tennessee Grizzly Bears (+6.5)
vs. Nuggets

Yesterday: 2-3
Overall: 261-234-13

In case you were wondering, this is the aformentioned Kings of Leon song that, I guess, I kind of like.

-Brad Spieser (

Monday, January 26, 2009

Comparing This Year's Cardinals To Next Year's Bengals

(My computator isn't uploading pictures at the moment. Deal with it, assholes.)

Over the weekend an acquaintance of mine suggested the Bengals might be next year's Cardinals. I smiled, nodded and went about my day. But inside I was thinking, What a shithead.

Said acquaintance's line of thinking, I'm guessing, went something like this: Explosive offense + stars aligning + crazy shit happens in the NFL = Why not us?

On the surface this seems mildly plausible, but it's really about a billion times away from being a reality (and this has nothing to do with the the two-headed abortion of Mike Brown and Marvin Lewis).

While I would never consider the Cardinals' defense a strength, they have five guys -- five guys -- I would take over the Bengals' best defender. It's not a stretch to call Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie, Adrian Wilson, Antrel Rolle, Darnell Dockett or Karlos Dansby better the the Bengals' best player on that side of the ball----which is...who? Leon Hall, maybe?

I suppose it's possible for the 2009 Bengals to win it all, but I would try avoiding comparisons of this year's Cards to next year's Bengals at your upcoming dinner party.

You're welcome.

Keep the change, you filthy animals.

-Brad Spieser (


Monday night Vickers...


Marquette (+3)
at Irish

Oklahoma State (+3) vs. Blake Griffin awesome, Taylor Griffin underrated


Wizards (+4.5)
vs. Suns

Thunder (-1.5) vs. Nets

76ers (+3) at Hornets

Yesterday: 3-2
Overall: 259-231-13

-Brad Spieser (

Sunday, January 25, 2009


I don't want to talk about yesterday. Is it my fault the Cavs (an underdog!) beat Utah outright? They're 34-8 for Christ's sake! And an absurd 29-13 against the spread! Whatever.


Hoosiers (+8.5) vs. Golden Gophers

Vandy (+1) vs. Florida

Seton Hall (+8) vs. Georgetown

West Virginia (-1) vs. Pitt


Nuggets (-7) vs. Jazz

-Brad Spieser

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Saturday Spectacular (Or Something)

A rough week was capped by a 4-0 Friday, but I'm much too tired to talk about it. Let's just get down to the horny stuff.

Saturday's Vickers...


South Florida (+6)
vs. Villanova

Auburn (+4.5) at Arkansas

Missouri (-17) vs. Texas Tech

Iowa State (+7) vs. Kansas

Alabama (+6) vs. Kentucky University

Washington (-1) vs. UCLA

Houston (+5.5) at Arizona

Gonzaga (-27) at Bo Kimble

Wofford (+21) at Davidson

LSU (-2.5) vs. Xavier

South Carolina (-10.5) vs. Old Mississippi

San Diego State (+7) at BYU


76ers (-7.5) vs. Knicks

Tennessee Grizzly Bears (+1) vs. Nets

Jazz (-3) vs. Cavs

Yesterday: 4-0
Overall: 251-219-13

-Brad Spieser (

Thursday, January 22, 2009

unfinished project

Three Bill Simmons-related things:

Part one: Most recently there was his podcast with my favorite writer, Chick Klosterman (a gentleman I once interviewed). Simmons, while brilliant with the written word, is awful on the mic. And although the first podcast with Klosterman was semi-fantastic (because Klosterman flipped the switch and essentially started interviewing Simmons), this one was more of the same -- more of Simmons making the podcast about himself as opposed to his guest. But anyway, two things stood out:

1. Klosterman's spot-on observation of Michael Jordan: "He's the the only guy that no matter how much history proved he was a jerk, people like him more."

2. While Simmons and Klosterman were having a conversation about the Hall of Fame, Simmons reared his big-city, American League-biased head when he said, in so many words, that Craig Biggio shouldn't be a Hall of Famer because he doesn't feel like a Hall of Famer. He argued that just because a guy plays a long time and gets 3,000 hits doesn't mean he should get thrown in the Hall.

My response to my favorite sportswriter: No shit he doesn't feel like a Hall of Famer. He was a nerdy little guy who played his entire career in a nondescript place. He was a boring dude in boring Houston. But that doesn't mean he doesn't have the credentials, either. In fact, he does----and there should be no debate. Listen, I'm not a Biggio guy (and I've chronicled how I thought he was somewhat overrrated), but he was still a wonderful player who deserves a bust in Cooperstown.

Part two: In his January 2, 2009 "NFL picks" column, he comments on what bothers him about the end of Cast Away:

One of my favorite rewatchable cable movies is "Cast Away," although one scene has recently started to bug me: After Tom Hanks' character gets rescued, he goes on a whim to see his former fiancee (Helen Hunt) late at night. They catch up for a few minutes, say their goodbyes, then she lends him one of their cars and he starts driving away. Suddenly, Hunt screams after him and runs down the driveway to catch him ... and even though it's a thunderstorm, he somehow hears her, puts the car in reverse and they make out in the pouring rain before deciding that this can't work and she needs to go back in the house. This all happens in about 90 seconds. He's nice enough to give her a lift back to the garage. She gets out and walks into her house completely drenched. And Hanks drives off, presumably closing that chapter of his life.

One problem: Are we really expected to believe that her husband never woke up during any of this?

Imagine you're married to the lady who was engaged to someone who was stranded on a deserted island for four years, dramatically escaped, became a worldwide celebrity and now was back in your town. Imagine your wife is an emotional wreck about the whole thing. Imagine your dining room is covered in maps and sketches as she spent the last few days trying to figure out exactly how Hanks escaped. Aren't you waking up every time she gets out of bed for a glass of water? Aren't you jumping at the sound of every car door slam? Wouldn't the noise of your wife screaming "Chuck!" outside your house in the wee hours send you outside wielding a shotgun? HOW THE HELL DID HE SLEEP THROUGH THIS? How? She made Hanks coffee, gave him their car, opened their garage, screamed his name, made out with him on their street ... and he was just catching some Z's the whole time? I can't handle it.

What's funny about this is that I have a saved text that I sent myself back on December 10 that reads: "End of cast away."

Now, I've never really thought about Simmons' angle (although he makes excellent points), but I have two takes of my own, one is a humorous take and the the other a gripe.

Humor: Would it be that devastating to come home and find out a 40-year-old Helen Hunt is married to another man? Think about it: You are a national hero -- like that New York City pilot, multiplied by 71 million, and you are also single. So yeah, I get it, the one woman who gave you hope while you were stranded on an island is no longer yours. also just got invited to a party at the Playboy mansion hosted by the Kardashian sisters (with special appearances by the Hilton sisters). I mean, really, your life isn't terrible, buddy.

But it's a movie and all, which is why I realize my last group of sentences (call it a paragraph, if you will) is kind of ridiculous. It's also why I have a legitimate take on the end of Cast Away.

Legitimate: Some movies are better because they don't have happy endings, some of them needed a happy ending to make the movie better (or at least satisfy me). Some examples of both.

American History X was better because Ed Furlong was shot. Not that we necessarily wanted him dead, but it made sense for Ed Norton's character to spend the rest of his life paying for previous sins.

Ditto for Tom Hanks in The Green Mile. The fact that he was forced to spend every waking moment in misery because he let the big black guy get executed was a great twist to an otherwise boring flick.

Leaving Las Vegas would've sucked if Nicolas Cage somehow straightened out his life.

Boyz N The Hood would've been cheesy if Ricky (and later, Dough Boy) all made it out of the ghetto.

Stand By Me: It broke my heart when River Phoenix's character died playing the role of peacemaker---but it made for a better ending.

Rewarding (and necessary) endings...

The Natural: Can you imagine if Roy Hobbs never got out of the hospital

To be continued...just got called in to work.

Friday's Vickers...

Bobcats (+4) vs. Suns

Pacers (+1) vs. Rockets

Timberwolfs (pick em) vs. Hornets

Warriors (+6.5) vs. Cavs


Drawing Comparisons To Fat Beach Boy

(Am I overrating my abilities if I compare myself to Brian Wilson?)

I slept until 2:00 this afternoon -- 2:00! -- and after eating a Little Caesar's Hot 'N' Ready for the 56th time since Halloween, all I can think about is going back to bed. And while that might seem pathetic, let's keep it funky: Sleeping is better than not sleeping -- always has and always will be. In fact, sleeping is better than just about everything that's not (a.) eating, (b.) drinking watermelon vodka, (c.) making intercourse and (d.) the first two days of the NCAA tournament.

So, if sleeping is undeniably great -- I mean, nobody would ever say otherwise -- then why am I borderline depressed?

The answer, not surprisingly, is website neglect.

I get emails every single day from readers asking (demanding? begging?) for more content. This screws with my head, for two reasons:

1. It's still tough to fathom having loyal readers who are complete strangers.

2. I'm overflowing with column ideas.

Let's briefly examine reason No. 2: I spend my days texting myself odd thoughts and writing shit down on my hand and on napkins with intentions (hopes) of using them in this space. But I've recently come to the realization that said thoughts will stay on said napkins, for I don't have anywhere near enough time to post them.

And it's fucking depressing.

For three reasons:

1. I really want to make this happen.

2. I occasionally work twenty hour days (like yesterday) that prevent me from truly going for it.
3. I might have to significantly cut down on my workload -- and move back in with my parents for a year -- to see if I (or we -- Craig's podcast contributions are integral) have the chops to take this sucker to the next level.

Because all I've had time for lately is posting nightly Vickers picks, and while that's very important to me and the future success of the site, it's not enough. It's also unfair to you, and it comes across as lazy (even it's not true).

Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to post Thursday's Vickers and go back to sleep...


Florida Magic (-5)
vs. Celtics


West Virginia (+5)
at Georgetown

Washington State (+5.5) vs. UCLA

San Diego (+3.5) vs. St. Mary's

Gonzaga (-27) at Pepperdine

Washington (-5.5) vs. USC

Yesterday: 4-5
Overall: 245-215-13

From the "Just So You Know" Department:

I'm not a Beach Boys fan at all. Actually, I think they're kind of terrible. But "God Only Knows," so brilliantly used in Boogie Nights, is one of my 135 favorite songs of all time. Enjoy...

-Brad Spieser (

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Vickers: Mediocre'r Than The Chick Who Played Boof

In the middle of 20-hour work day...just stopped home to eat a chicken pizziola from Subway with extra cheese (and a ton of ranch)...better than I'm posting the unimpressive-of-late Vickers...which doesn't deserve a link...


Heat (+6)
vs. Celtics

Nets (+4.5) at Hornets

Bucks (+1.5) vs. Mavs

Blazers (pick em) vs. Cavs


Bonnies (+12)
vs. Muskies

Devan Downey (pick em) vs. Florida

Rutgers (+10.5) vs. Louisville

Tulane (+6) vs. Tulsa

Iowa (+3) vs. Wisconsin

Yesterday: 2-4
Overall: 241-210-13

-Brad Spieser (

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Vickers System: Mediocre'r Than A Young Brook Hogan


Bulls (-4.5)
vs. Hawks


Illinois (-8)
vs. Ohio State

Duke (-19) vs. NC State

Penn State (-2) vs. Michigan

Depaul (+5.5) at South Florida

Vandy (+1.5) vs. Tennessee

Yesterday: 3-3
Overall: 239-206-13

-Brad Spieser (

Monday, January 19, 2009

Underrated Movies, Questioning Sam Wyche, Etc.

Eleven things...

1. Mystery, Alaska is a great film. Great.

2. Cheviot has a Wikipedia page.

3. Surf Cincinnati does not.

4. Twenty years ago my heart was ripped out when John Taylor caught a ten-yard pass with 34 seconds remaining. Today I direct my rage towards Sam Wyche, who kept all three timeouts in his pocket as Joe Montana was adding to his legacy. (Why have I never heard anyone -- anyone -- talk about this? Can you imagine if there were blogs back then? Questions, man. Questions.)

5. I continue to sit down when I pee.

6. I continue to pee in the shower.

7. I continue to sit down in the shower.

8. I have never peed sitting down in the shower.

9. I continue to hate anyone who drives a convertible.

10. Trajan Langdon's dad looks like a janitor.

11. I've found nothing to fill the void left by The Wire, and I'm pretty sure I'll spend my next hundred years feeling the same way.

-Brad Spieser (

start worrying about me

I'll fancy this up in a little. Games start in about two seconds.

Pitt (-8.5) vs. Syracuse

76ers (-3.5) vs. Mavs

Bobcats (+5) vs. Spurs

Timberwolfs (-6.5) at Clippers

Grizzle (+4) vs. Pistons

Bucks (+6) at Blazers


Sunday, January 18, 2009

Two Hours Of Sleep Can't Stop The Vickers

This person (me) got exceptionally cocky yesterday, and paid dearly. An 8-14-1 record is the opposite of cool.

Other things that aren't cool:

1. getting punched in the head.

2. hillbillies

3. most wiggers (including Eminem, most of the time)

4. olives

5. pets

6. Tim Roth

7. Qadry Ismail

8. heat (technically speaking, I'm correct)

9. anybody who believes in karma

10. Bruce Springsteen (and his stupid fans)

11. cantaloupe

12. anyone with a convertible

13. stepping in puddles

Sunday's picks...


Raptors (+4) vs. Suns

Thunder (pick em) vs. Heat


Purdue (-12.5) vs. Iowa

Georgia (+8) vs. Kentucky

Northwestern (-1) vs. Minnesota

LaSalle (+12) vs. Xavier

Yesterday: 8-14-1
Overall: 234-200-12

-Brad Spieser (

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Brian Vickers: Not Afraid To Back Favorites

Did I stop drinking last night at 10:30 as a service to the Gambling Gamblers of America? Yes. Did I, as a man of considerable faith, and following the guidance of Lord Brian, wake up at 9:00 a.m. to get on the same page as my heterosexual lifemate Craig, who's on a break at his dumb job in Cleveland, Ohio? You know it.

The Vickers produced a 4-2 record Friday; we sit at 40 games over .500, and another big day Saturday might officially get someone's attention out in Vegas. Regardless, we have cash riding on a fairly ridiculous 22 games today, and once again the lines are quite stupid - although different than usual. Saturday calls for us to back a lot of favorites - twelve total - whereas the number would ordinarily be around five.

Have no fear, boys and girls, the Brian Vickers System is here to save you...


Duke (-9)
vs. Georgetown

Missouri (-15.5) vs. Iowa State

Florida (-10) vs. Arkansas

Auburn (-5) vs. Alabama

Texas A & M (+3.5) vs. Oklahoma

Illinois Chicago (+3) vs. Butler

Georgia Southern (+12) vs. Davidson

Clemson (-2) vs. Wake Forest

Michigan State (-8) vs. Illinois

Texas Tech (+5.5) vs. Texas

Utah (-16.5) vs. Colorado State

Louisville (-2.5) vs. Pitt

East Carolina (+3) vs. UTEP

Duquesne (-1.5) vs. Dayton

USC (-7) vs. Arizona

Gonzaga (-26.5) vs. San Francisco

Marshall (+10) at Tulsa

North Carolina (-16.5) vs. Miami

Providence (+1.5) vs. Marquette

Washington (-10) at Oregon State


Nets (+7)
vs. Celtics

Bobcats (+2.5) vs. Blazers

Bulls (+3.5) vs. Spurs

Yesterday: 4-2
Overall: 226-186-11

(One other thing: You might be wondering, "Why is a provocative photograph of the lady from Judging Amy at the top of this post?" And I have an answer for you: While I was typing up this little thing I happened to have Heat on in the background (only the second time I've ever seen it), and Sweet Christ, I do not recall her being that attractive! But she is. And now you know. And now you know that I know that you know. Good luck today, jerks.)

-Brad Spieser (

Friday, January 16, 2009

I Think I Like The Bengals Again

This might com as a bit of a shocker, but I went to (an Internet website) for the first time in four months yesterday. This is because I'm once again curious about the franchise I used to obsess over. I'm not exactly sure how this happened, but it happened.

Regardless, I think it means I still care, which sucks, but that's out of my control.

Here's the thing: Ordinarily I'd write off the Bengals' late-season success as nothing but opposing teams giving decidedly less than maximum effort. Which still might actually be true (and probably is), but the Bengals' D showed spunk, and I can't believe I'm saying this, playmaking ability. Sure, they might be sub-par in several areas (save for the defensive backfield, a true strength) but with the addition of a legitimate edge rusher, they could actually be an above average unit.

Which is all we're asking for.

Because the offense is still the reason the Bengals will win games in 2009.

I routinely crushed Carson Palmer these past two years, but you know what? He's about 80 billion times better than Ryan Fitzpatrick (I guess we should've expected that). So, assuming his throwing arm is okay (yikes!), a big upgrade is expected at the QB position.

Running game, offensive line? The draft and free agency will almost certainly fill some holes and stabilize what proved to be the team's biggest weak spots in 2008.

Receivers? I'm expecting big things from Chad Ocho Cinco next year. Let's not forget: He's a great player, not a good one. He's only two years removed from leading his conference in receiving yards four consecutive years, an NFL record (no player has even led for three straight years). Plus he's healthy. Plus he remains obsessed with his place in history. Sure, Houshmandzadeh is unlikely to return, but they should be fine with (hopefully) a police-blotter-free offseason of Chris Henry and the (keepinf fingers crossed) improvement of Andre Caldwell and Jerome Simpson, 2008's underwhelming rookies.

Call me crazy, but I see the Bengals returning to respectability in '09.

I only see one problem with this.

Mike Brown is still here-----as is Marvin Lewis. Which makes perfect sense, especially considering the recent firings of Mike Shanahan, Jon Gruden and (to a lesser extent) Eric Mangini.

So, disregard all optimism.

Speaking of optimism (call me Mr. Segue), the Brian Vickers System continues to provide hope to those of us feeling the affects of the economy.

Before I move on to Friday's picks, I want to remind you that I'll be posting Saturday's picks well before the games tip off at noon. We'll likely take between 15 and 25 games, and since there's very little chance we won't have a successful day, we're giving you extra time to absorb our information and place the telephone call that will undoubtedly ruin your bookie's day.

Friday's picks...


76ers (+3)
vs. Spurs

Thunder (+4) vs. Pistons

Grizzly Bears (+4.5) vs. Jazzercize

Hornets (+2.5) at Cavs

Magic (+4.5) at Lakers

Warriors (+1) vs. Hawks

Yesterday: 6-4
Overall: 222-184-11

-Brad Spieser (

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Peter King: Nice Guy, Dumb Guy

Forgive me for possibly not being the first to say this, but Peter King is a dumb shit. About nine minutes ago I was making a toilet and needed a piece of literature to occupy my mind -- I chose Sports Illustrated's January 12, 2009 issue (which can also be found online at, an Internet website), and randomly chose page 66, which happened to be the page Sports Illustrated devoted to Peter King's All-Pro team.

And it didn't take long - just the second name from the top - for me to lose my goddamn mind. For those of you who so rudely didn't click the link I provided, I'll just inform you that accompanying Andre Johnson as a first-team wideout was...wait for it...wait for it...Wes Freaking Welker.

Wait, Mr.-10.5-yards-per-catch Wes Welker? Yep. Same guy.

Wait, Mr.-three-touchdowns-for-the-entire-season Wes Welker? Yep. Same guy.

But what about Larry Fitzgerald, Anquan Boldin, Steve Smith, Roddy White, Calvin Johnson, Greg Jennings or Antonio Bryant -- you know, receivers who are (a.) better, (b.) put up markedly better numbers, despite (c.) consistently drawing more attention from opposing defenders? Can't help ya, kid.

There was a period not too long ago when I looked forward to Peter King's MMQB, but I stopped when I concluded the following: He doesn't know a damn thing about football.

(Note: It's hard for me to bash King - a nice fellow who tipped me $20 about six months ago for doing very little work - but that's the kind of ruthless gangster you're dealing with here.)

So, while King quite obviously knows nothing about football, Lord Brian is fastly becoming America's most trustworthy handicapper. We bounced back in fine fashion yesterday with a 9-4-1 record, and I'm fully expecting the momentum to carry us trough the weekend.

Thursday's Vickers...


Nets (+2)
vs. Blazers

Bulls (+7.5) vs. Cavs


Northwestern (+4) vs. Purdue

St. Johnathons (+13) vs. UConnecticut

Loyola Chicago (+6.5) vs. Butler

The Fighting Blue Raiders of Middle Tennessee State (+3) at Western Kentucky

Rhode Island (+1.5) vs. Xavier

Oregon State (+6) vs. Washington State

Wisconsin (-6.5) vs. Minnesota

***The following pick might get removed - I like it, but Craig was on the fence and his phone died before we ever came to an agreement. I'm sure this decision will keep you on the edge of your seat.***

USC (+1) vs. Arizona State

Yesterday: 9-4-1
Overall: 216-180-11

-Brad Spieser (

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Vickers Bruised, Planning Big Wednesday

1. I've been thinking about this a lot lately and I'm still not sure if Ashley Judd was smokin' hot or merely somewhat attractive back in 1999.

2. In case you missed ESPNews on Sunday evening, analyst Eric Allen (apparently a graduate of the Jesse Palmer School of Broadcasting) reminded the viewing audience that Eagles safety Brian Dawkins wears his emotions on his sleeves.

3. Was I shocked to see Jodie Meeks drop 52 on national television? Well, yes. Have I been a big fan of his talent for years. Absolutely. Am I going to listen to Alan Cutler's podcast from this morning before I go to sleep? No doubt.

Wednesday's Vickers...


Pacers (-1)
vs. Pistons

76ers (+2) vs. Blazers

Thunder (+5.5) vs. Jazz

Bucks (-6) vs. Heat

Spurs (-2.5) vs. Lakers

Clippers (+4) vs. Hawks


Penn State (+6)
vs. Michigan State

UC (-9.5) vs. Rutgers

Marshall (+14.5) vs. West Virginia********Neutral court********

Old Mississippi (-2) vs. Arkansas

Auburn (+3) vs. Florida

Mississippi State (-7) vs. Alabama

Colorado State (+7.5) vs. UNLV

Boston College (+3.5) vs. Wake Forest

Yesterday: 1-7
Overall: 207-176-10

-Brad Spieser (

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Fact: Most Gay Nerds Can't Chug Whiskey

Annoying movie/television trend No. 1,256: Any time someone takes a giant swig from a bottle of booze (video below) in order to deal with a difficult situation. Listen, less than two percent of the population are able to nonchalantly take three gulps from a bottle of Jack Daniel's, and it's rarely the type of people portrayed on television and film. When Jeremy Piven's character in Entourage, Ari Gold, a proponent of healthy living, effortlessly sucks down an entire bottle of bourbon during a four-minute conversation I start pulling my hair out. Why am I supposed to believe this is possible? Because he just got fired? A non-drinker is a non-drinker, plain and simple. Why is this any different than having Meryl Streep dunking on an eleven-foot hoop?

Jesus, I know it's Hollywood and all, and I know I shouldn't really care, but I do. Probably a little too much.

Anyway, Tuesday's Vickers...


Grizzly Bears (+8.5) vs. Cavs

Timberwolfs (+1)
vs. Heat

Rockets (+4)
vs. Lakers

Suns (-7.5) vs. Hawks


Indiana (+16.5)
at Ohio State

Tulsa (+6.5) vs. Memphis

Kansas State (+7.5) at Kansas

Tennessee (-6) vs. Kentucky

Yesterday: 1-2
Overall: 206-169-10

-Brad Spieser (

Monday, January 12, 2009

Young Girls And Classy Blacks!

Five questions...

Do you hope fights break out everywhere you go, even at weddings?

What would you do if you caught a glimpse of your beautiful 16-year-old neighbor changing her clothes?

Is it strange for a single man in his twenties to make his bed every day?

When I was in fourth grade it was required that I know what a pueblo was-----why?

What did it really mean when white members of the media (aka "the media") referred to Sylvester Croom as a "class act" in the days after he got fired?

Perhaps you've never thought about this crap, but I have - which is why you should just sit back and listen to "Leftover Crap--Young Girls And Classy Blacks," the latest podcast from Brad Spieser (me) and Craig Emmert (a person).

-Brad Spieser (

Brian Vickers: Prognosticator Of Prognosticators

We only picked three games Monday, but I'm guaranteeing - yes, guaranteeing - a winning record for the Brian Vickers System. For those who don't have their TI-82 calculators handy, that means winning at least two of our selected games (or somehow winning one with two pushes). Anyway, Lord Brian continues to deliver the goods.

So Brad, who ya gots tonight?


Louisville (-6)
vs. Notre Dame

Appalachian State (+10.5) vs. Davidson


Bulls (+2.5)
vs. Blazers

Yesterday: 4-5-1
Overall: 205-167-10

(Note: Eight dollars goes to the first reader who gets the pop culture reference in the title)

-Brad Spieser (

The Reds Will Never Win. Ever.

If you're anything like me, you probably jumped out the window when you read the following heading in today's Enquirer: Healthy Carpenter could be Cards closer.

The reason for jumping out the window: You just know it's going to work. Because Kyle Lohse. Because Ryan Ludwick. Because Rick Ankiel the hitter. Because Suppan and Weaver in the '06 postseason. Because it's the Cardinals, and they find a pearl necklace every time they step in a pile of puke. At least it seems that way.

And I don't care if there's a logical explanation for all of this (and there is: Tony La Russa and Dave Duncan are the absolute best in the world at their profession), I'm just sick of it happening in St. Louis. This is akin, I suppose, to how non-New England AFC East fan bases feel about the Patriots - they turn retreads into stars and when they have the nerve to draft a QB who never even started a game in college, he not only is good enough to play in the league, he turns out to be in the thick of the MVP race when given his opportunity.

Listen, if Chris Carpeneter were slated to close games in Kansas City or San Francisco next season, my only thought would be something along the lines of, Jesus, that guy used to be an awesome starter and now he's about to blow six games for the Royals in April before being released.

But that ain't gonna happen. Chris Carpenter will close games in St. Louis this year, and he'll be bloody successful. Really, is there any doubt?

-Brad Spieser (

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Hotter Than A Young Alicia Silverstone

At some point Vegas is going to find out about the Brian Vickers System - there's just no other way.

Thirteen wins, six losses and two pushes yesterday. That, boys and girls, is nothing to sneeze at.

Sunday's NFL-free Vickers...


Raptors (+6)
vs. Celtics

76ers (+6) at Hawks

Kings (+2.5) vs. Mavs

Lakers (-11) vs. Heat


Purdue (-6)
vs. Wisconsin

Penn State (+6.5) at Minnesota

LaSalle (+2) vs. Temple

LSU (+3.5) at Alabama

UNC-Wake Forest OVER (171)

USC (+2) vs. UCLA

Yesterday: 13-6-2
Overall: 201-162-9

-Brad Spieser (

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Follow Lord Brian To Freedom

I am presently at the library, therefore a picture will not be accompanying this post. I'm once again having computer issues that are leaving me with unpleasant thoughts. I purchased my computer a little less than two years ago for Twelve-hundred American dollars ($1,200). At the moment I still owe the fine people at Dell $1,200 (can I get an AMEN for minimum payments!!!), and if that piece of shit blows up before I pay it off, well, I'm going to the local dynamite store, asking for the good stuff in back and ending this thing. (Note: Interpret "this thing" however you please)


Even with a devastating push thrown in (Kings +4), The Brian Vickers System had another solid day yesterday (2-1-1). The good times continue today with a record-setting twenty-one games! Are we getting greedy? Hell no -- there are some bizarre lines out there, and I'd be shocked if we finished with anything less than a 12-9 record.

Saturday's picks...


Panthers-Cardinals UNDER


Georgia (+8.5)
vs. Tennessee

Louisville (+2.5) at Villanova

Clemson (-11.5) vs. NC State

Michigan State (-6) vs. Kansas

Kansas State (+1) vs. Oklahoma

Florida State (+9.5) vs. Duke

Depaul (-7) vs. South Florida

Nebraska (+2.5) vs. Missouri

Colrado State (+9.5) vs. BYU

Cincinnati University Fighting Bearcats (+8.5) vs. UConnnecticut

TCU (+3.5) vs. UNLV

Washington (-4.5) vs. Cal

Dartmouth (+8) vs. Harvard

Indiana State (+9.5) vs. Illinois State

SMU (+6) vs. UTEP

Mississippi State (+6.5) at Arkansas

The Citadel (+17) vs. Stephen Curry is going to score 75 points today


Timberwolfs (-2)
vs. Bucks

Jazz (-10) vs. Pistons

Blazers (-12) vs. Warriors

Yesterday: 2-1-1
Overall: 188-156-7

-Brad Spieser (

Friday, January 9, 2009

Sean Miller Unhappy With Derrick Brown; Me Agrees

I don't really care about the state of Xavier basketball, but I couldn't help but notice that in today's Enquirer Sean Miller voiced his displeasure with Derrick Brown's refusal to attack the glass. And really, how could you blame him?

As long as I live I will never forget Derrick Brown's dominant rebounding performance in XU's first round tourney win over BYU in 2007.

Sixteen rebounds!

Sixteen minutes!

Only players with considerable talent can produce stat lines like that. Which makes me wonder...why does Brown - now playing almost thirty minutes per game - only pull down five boards a night?

Again, I'm not a Muskies fan, but that is inexcusable.

End of words.

(Lacking transitional tool...)

Friday's Vickers (which impessively won three out of four games yesterday. Tell your degenerate friends) ...


Cavs (-4)
vs. Celtics

Thunder (+6.5) vs. Rockets

Wizards (+5) at Bulls

Kings (+4) vs. Heat

Yesterday: 3-1
Overall: 186-155-6

-Brad Spieser (

Thursday, January 8, 2009

A Brief (But Lengthy) Update Of Everything

As you people know, I've been a sick person of late. This means I'm behind on a few things.

Such as...

1. This Mick Cronin thing is scaring me. Has he lost his team? Has he overrated his own recruits? Was he lying to us to make us feel better about the direction of the program? Did his mouth dig a hole he'll never emerge from? All legitimate questions, no?.

Bob Huggins had flaws, no question - unimaginative (and difficult-to-stomach) offenses, taking the hard line with players when they probably needed kid-glove treatment (read: Tony Bobbitt), pathetic recruiting classes in his last few years (save for the Devan Downey score) - but you'll never hear anyone say that the kids Bob Huggins put on the floor didn't play hard. His guys always played their asses off, and I can't say the same about Mick Cronin's troops.

When Cronin got to town he took a not-so-subtle dig at Huggins by saying something to the effect of, "You won't see me pulling kids for throwing one errant pass." The point being: Huggs made players afraid to screw-up, and in turn, afraid to play loose. Cronin's line of thinking, I'm guessing, is that a player (and a team) can't reach his (or its) potential if they're always looking over their shoulder, expecting to get yanked.

And I agreed with that, but it's not working. Something ain't right.

Plus, the players just aren't that good.

I still find it shocking that Mike Williams once threw up nine points and seven rebounds (as a member of a loaded frontcourt) as a sophomore in a hotly contested Sweet 16 game. I mean, earning minutes on a good team - in the most important game of the year - more-than-likely means you're good at basketball, right? Well then, how do you explain what I'm seeing?

The same can be said for every player on the team, with the exceptions of Deonta Vaughn and Dion Dixon (who still has a long way to go); every other guy on the team hasn't a clue how to play basketball. Alvin Mitchell catches the ball and waits for the defense to catch up to him, just so he can beat his man (which he can't do); he clearly thinks he's better than he is. Darnell Wilks: Maybe the worst passer I've ever seen (and does he realize he might be the most athletic human in school history?). Larry Davis does one thing well (one-bounce intermediate game), one thing okay (long-range shooting) and everything else horribly. Anthony McCLain's feet are too slow to ever make an impact at a school that wants to run and press. Rashad Bishop played like a poor man's Pete Mickeal last year...and now he thinks he's a scorer? He's not. (Note: I wanted to strangle Bishop against Xavier). If Yancy Gates never left the block he'd be an effective low-post player right now. But he thinks he can shoot, and he thinks he can dribble, and he thinks he's a plus-athlete...and he's not. He's another one who drives me insane.

Sure, they don't have Cashmere Wright, and Vaughn gets swallowed whole by bigger, more athletic PGs, but the overall talent level on UC's roster is nowhere near where Cronin led us to believe.

A little over a year ago I had issues with Cronin, first for throwing his seniors under the bus, and then for unnecessarily raising the heat in his own kitchen.

If you really examine his words from November 2007, he should be under a lot more pressure at the moment. Unfortunately, fan apathy is at a twenty-year high (which is a whole other story).

Let me be clear: The best chance the Bearcats have of returning to national prominence is with Mick Cronin at the helm. It's not often that an up-and-comer in the coaching game lands his dream job, but it's happened here. I'm less than satisfied with the guy, but he's still considered to be an excellent recruiter, and sometimes that one blue-chipper can change everything. Give the guy a few more years, but at some point, it shouldn't be impolite to ask for a little progress (or at least hustle).

Okay, moving forward with the other teams I blindly support...

2. I desperately wanted the Reds to take a two-year flier on Rocco Baldelli, and everybody called me stupid. Now the Red Sox are about to do just that, and it's considered a wise move.

3. While we're at it, why aren't the Reds a player in the Derek Lowe sweepstakes? Would a 3 year, $45 million contract kill the club financially? I can't imagine so. Would it give them a legitimate shot at contending for a pennant? Absolutely. Volquez-Lowe-Harang-Cueto-Arroyo as your starting staff...doesn't sound terrible.

4. And if you happen to bump in to Edinson Volquez between today and sixty years from now, tell him I've thought about him at least once a day since he was traded for Jesus Christ. (I cannot control my wandering mind.)

5. If the Bengals don't draft offensive linemen in rounds one through three, followed by a shifty running back with A+ receiving skills in round four, I'm officially out of the "Caring about the Bengals" business. (Why do they neglect their glaring needs every year?)

(Note: Disregard everything I just wrote if they can get their hands on a game-changing pass rusher.)

6. Ohio State's overflowing group of departing seniors has me relieved it's finally over. Aside from Malcolm Jenkins, all of them are replaceable. Boeckman, Laurinaitis, Robiskie, Boone, Freeman, Nicol, Mo. Wells, Rehring, Abdallah, Others I'm Forgetting, they just...weren't good enough. Weren't tough enough. Overrated? Yep. They were either (a.) good players being billed as great (read: Laurinaitis), (b.) solid players being billed as really good (read: Boone and Freeman) or crummy players undeservedly given playing time (read: Boeckman and Mo. Wells).

It might be harsh to be critical of a bunch who played in four (three prominently) BCS games, including two title-game appearances, but let's face it: They simply weren't good enough.

7. A handful of the aforementioned fellows returned for their senior years with hopes of winning it all. They'll tell you otherwise - some nonsense about "you only get one senior year" - but it's all crap. Everyone knows the real motives, and that's fine. But when things go south, it gets tricky. When the Bucks got pounded by USC - way back in mid-September - the season was over. Everything the players came back for went down the toilet. That created a weird vibe - namely, the Boeckman-Pryor issue. But coach, we still have ten games left...why are we already peaking into the future?

They put all of their eggs into the USC basket, got blown out, and now everything was different. The Laurinatis-Jenkins-Boone group was basically in a lame-duck situation and it didn't feel right. Advice for players: If you think it might be time to go, go. Things can go south in a hurry if you're dreams I'm realized.

And I'm bringing this up because Chris Wells is apparently considering returning for his senior year. Big mistake. Don't get me wrong, I'll take the guy if he comes back, but it could all go to hell with little slip-up in an early-season rematch with the Trojans. Then what? With a national championship an impossibility maybe would Wells keep himself out of games to protect his draft stock? Anything's possible, right?

Edit: Chris Wells just declared for the draft.

Okay, on to things that have nothing to do with the teams I root for, and sometimes, nothing to do with sports...

8. Prediction: Artie Lange is dead before the end of the year. And if I'm right, it will be the first time a stranger's death has led me to tears.

9. When I first heard of Charles Barkley's infamous traffic stop, I was devastated. Not because of his actions, but because I thought he would almost certainly resign from his post at TNT.

10. ESPN's college football analyst Jesse Palmer, thanks to his Second-grade English skills, continues to rank among the worst at his profession. On a bowl telecast a few weeks back (I can't remember which), Palmer had a fifteen-second stretch that left my ears bleeding: Moments after describing some quarterback as "unaccurate," he told the nation about something else that was "remarkably unbelievable."

And you wonder why people complain about ESPN...

11. Speaking of bowl games, do you idiots still think a 64-team tournament (which I lobbied for here, here and here) wouldn't be a good idea? Wouldn't you love to see what Old Mississipi, Utah, TCU, Iowa, Florida State, Oregon, etc., would do with a second life?

Change is good, dammit!

12. I had more than a few hours to watch movies over the past week, which precisely explains why I watched movies over the past week. I own both Kill Bill movies but I ain't seen a lick of neither. But I've seen Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs millions of times, and those movies will always be endlessly cool. Which made me think that Kill Bill had a decent shot to join them.

Not close.

I watched a little over an hour of Kill Bill Vol. 1 and I'm wondering why the name of the film wasn't Neverending Sword Fight with No Cool Dialogue. I think that would be a more accuracte title. But seriously, am I missing something here? Why was nobody else outraged about this? Weren't Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs endlessly cool as a result of unique dialogue?

"What ain't no country I ever heard of; they speak English in What?"

13. On the final day of 2008, I briefly posted some end-of-the-year awards, but neglected the Worst Guy of the Year Award. And this year we have a tie.

First up: Michigan State head coach Mark Dantonio. Do you realize he allowed Javon Ringer to carry the ball a nation-leading 390 times this year? To put that in perspective, Knowshown Moreno, tenth on the list, carried the 140 fewer times in '08.

Next: Billy Ray Cyrus and the pimp job he performed on his daughter. Remember this summer when provocative Miley Cyrus photos were leaked every couple of weeks for two solid months? Of course you do. How did her daddy react to this? He did the right thing and allowed his 16-year-old daughter to expose her bare back while posing for more provocative pictures in a Vanity Fair spread! What a guy!


Even though I promised not to mention gambling in this post, we might as well knock out the Vickers right now:


Florida-Oklahoma UNDER (69.5)


Arizona (-10)
vs. Oregon

Washington State (-1.5) vs. Cal

Arizona State (-21) vs. Oregon State

Yesterday: 4-5
Overall: 183-154-6

-Brad Spieser (

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Hotter Than A Young Alyssa Milano

Eight wins against only three losses Tuesday!

If you gamble at all, or if you know anyone who likes sweet action on athletic contests, you must spread the word of the almighty Brian Vickers System. It's not possible to be more legit than the original Stanley Burrell, but goddamit...we're putting some heat on the man. And since I have nothing else for you, I've added something at the bottom of this post that will (or at least should) brighten your day: A six-plus minute video of Mike Schank (of American Movie fame) clips.

Anyway, Wednesday's picks...


Celtics (-10) vs. Rockets

Bucks (-7.5) vs. 76ers

Nuggets (-5.5) vs. Heat

Jazz (-4) vs. Hornets


South Florida (+10.5) vs. Louisville

Harvard (+16.5) at Boston College

Depaul (+13) at Syracuse

Indiana (+8) vs. Michigan

Northwestern (+7) at Wisconsin

Yesterday: 8-3
Overall: 179-149-6

Promise to the people: My next post will not - in any way - be gambling related.

-Brad Spieser (

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Words About America The Country (But Not Really)

There's a four percent chance that I'm getting out of the woods. Four. Don't get me wrong, I still can't breathe and I most definitely want to die, but it's not completely unrealistic that my outlook will change come morning. Until then (and until I move on to Tuesday's Vickers picks), I'm hoping to die peacefully in my sleep. Because of this, I'm reminded of the best version of the second best Oasis song, "Live Forever."

Anyway, Tuesday's picks...


Tulsa (-2.5)
vs. Ball State


Bobcats (+9.5)
vs. Celtics

76ers (+2.5) vs. Rockets

Thunder (+2) vs. Knicks


West Virginia (-3)
vs. UConnecticut

Michigan State (-10) vs. Ohio State

Seton Hall (+7) vs. Villanova

Bradley (+2) vs. Illinois State

Penn State (+3) vs. Purdue

Clemson (-14.5) vs. Alabama

Siena (+12.5) at Kansas

Yesterday: 2-1
Overall: 171-146-6

-Brad Spieser (

Monday, January 5, 2009

Wondering Why God Hates Me...

1. If you feel American Movie is the height of comedy, you have to watch "The Turtleman" (video below) before you do anything else in your life.

2. If you care at all about Ohio State football, you should pray that Todd Boeckman doesn't make an appearance tonight - not even as a decoy for one play. (You want them to win, right?)

3. If you know a doctor (or anyone who graduated high school and makes more than $12/hour), ask them if it's safe to drink nine-and-a-half bottles of Green Death NyQuill in a 51-hour period.

4. If you know my mom, tell her I loved her.

5. If you've been paying attention to this website, you're well aware of the incredibly hot stretch Lord Brian has produced.

Monday's picks...


Ohio State (+8.5)
vs. Texas


Heat (+3.5)
vs. Spurs

Bucks (-8.5) vs. Raptors

Yesterday: 7-4
Overall: 169-145-6

-Brad Spieser (

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Basketball Games And Football Games (Sports!)

I'm dying. It's true. Ferris Bueller's keyboard couldn't produce the sound of my cough. Pray for me.

(and Edgerrin James is my new most hated athlete. All of the sudden he runs like a man possessed?)

Sunday's Vickers...


Vikings (+3)
vs. Eagles


Wizards (+9.5)
vs. Cavs

Clippers (+6) vs. Pistons

Knicks (+10) vs. Celtics


Illinois (+2.5)
at Michigan

Cincinnati University (+9.5) at Marquette

Oregon (+11) vs. UCLA

Oregon State (11.5) vs. USC

North Carolina (-21) vs. Boston College

Drake (+3) at Southern Illinois

Cal (+1.5) vs. Arizona State

Yesterday: 7-6
Overall: 162-141-6

-Brad Spieser (

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Setting The Record For NyQuill Consumption...

9-2 record yesterday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Chargers (Pick 'em)
vs. Colts


UConnecticut (-7)
vs. Buffalo


Pitt (+3.5)
at Georgetown

Penn State (+9.5) at Wisconsin

Virginia (+3.5) vs. Xavier

North Texas (+10.5) vs. Arkansas*****Neutral court*****

Seton Hall (+8) vs. West Virginia

Northwestern (+4.5) vs. Michigan State

UConnecticut (-21.5) vs. Rutgers

Valpo (+9) vs. Butler

Illinois State (-2.5) vs. Creighton

BYU (-2.5) vs. Wake Forest

New Mexico (+5.5) at UNLV

***And for the second time in three days, I'm turning my back on the Vickers***

I see Indiana (+14) at Iowa as a huge Vickers selection, but I can't pull the trigger. I know Iowa's coming off their biggest win of the season (Ohio State), and are fresh for a sluggish performance, but Indiana shouldn't stay within 25 points of the Hawkeyes.

Yesterday: 9-2
Overall: 155-135-6

-Brad Spieser (

Friday, January 2, 2009

the alphabet (abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz)


Old Mississippi (+4)
vs. Texas Tech

Old Mississippi/Texas Tech UNDER (66)

Kentucky University (+3) vs. East Carolina

Utah (+9.5) vs. Alabama


Raptors (+4)
vs. Raptors

Nets (+4.5) vs. Hawks

Thunder (+7.5) vs. Nuggets

Blazers/Hornets UNDER (182)


Cal (-4.5)
vs. Arizona

South Florida (+7) vs. Syracuse

Oregon State (+14.5) vs. UCLA

New Year's record: 2-3
Overall: 146-133-6

-Brad Spieser (