Monday, January 12, 2009

The Reds Will Never Win. Ever.

If you're anything like me, you probably jumped out the window when you read the following heading in today's Enquirer: Healthy Carpenter could be Cards closer.

The reason for jumping out the window: You just know it's going to work. Because Kyle Lohse. Because Ryan Ludwick. Because Rick Ankiel the hitter. Because Suppan and Weaver in the '06 postseason. Because it's the Cardinals, and they find a pearl necklace every time they step in a pile of puke. At least it seems that way.

And I don't care if there's a logical explanation for all of this (and there is: Tony La Russa and Dave Duncan are the absolute best in the world at their profession), I'm just sick of it happening in St. Louis. This is akin, I suppose, to how non-New England AFC East fan bases feel about the Patriots - they turn retreads into stars and when they have the nerve to draft a QB who never even started a game in college, he not only is good enough to play in the league, he turns out to be in the thick of the MVP race when given his opportunity.

Listen, if Chris Carpeneter were slated to close games in Kansas City or San Francisco next season, my only thought would be something along the lines of, Jesus, that guy used to be an awesome starter and now he's about to blow six games for the Royals in April before being released.

But that ain't gonna happen. Chris Carpenter will close games in St. Louis this year, and he'll be bloody successful. Really, is there any doubt?

-Brad Spieser (


daniel said...

And the Astros will never win either. I'm sure I dislike the Cards as much as you.

Stuart said...

Dude I was pleased to learn this information. A closer is not as valuable as an ace.

Twin Killing dot Com said...

Wait...220 innings is more important than 65 innings? Thanks for the math lesson!

Stuart said...

oh, you realized too? then why the long face, senor hyperbole?

Twin Killing dot Com said...

My point about Carpenter was this: I considered him dead. He hasn't made an impact in 2 years, and he had a long injury history in Toronto before his success as a Cardinal. But he might find a second life as a closer in St Louis, and if it were anywhere else, I'd be skeptical. But LaRussa and Duncan turn everything they touch to gold.

I'm generally an optimistic fan (and I realize the closer position is mostly overrated), but when I read the heading it just hit me: Carpenter is going to be a lights-out closer, and it's going to happen in the NL Central.