Wednesday, November 7, 2007

I'm Somewhat Normal, All Things Considered

Let me let you in on a little semi-pathetic secret: I add random people on MySpace with hopes that they will find their way to this site. It's true. I figure if I throw enough shit against the wall--sooner or later--some of it will stick. Considering the amount of time it takes to add people (not much--I can do it while watching Golden State lose me money), it's certainly been worthwhile. I've gained some loyal readers with this method of operation, and I'll likely continue until I have a good reason to stop (read: win the lottery).

So...being that I add people I've never met, it's expected that I would come across all kinds of strange people. Take this idiot, for instance. When I randomly added this lunatic a few days ago I never thought I'd be writing about her. But that's her fault for being a stupid person.

Way way back on November 1, 2007, this is what I wrote about my distaste for classic rock music and the people who routinely listen to it:

"If classic rock is your favorite type of music...

I wouldn't be upset if you stopped breathing.

No explanation needed."

It was no big deal, you know? It was just an I-need-to-write-something-before-the-end-of-the-work-day post; the kind of thing I do a few times a week. And sure, I hate 98.3% of classic rock, just as I can't stand Bob Marley's tunes, but it's just an opinion, and never a reason to get bent out of shape. Or so I thought.

Before sharing my dialogue with the 44-year-old psycho named Decadent Jaz, it's more important to understand how I post my link to TwinKilling on MySpace. I post a clever heading in the "bulletins" section with hopes of intriguing people to the point of actually clicking the link (for the unique hits and whatnot). For the aforementioned post regarding classic rock music, I titled the bulletin "people i hate--classic rock is stupid people music." This will make sense when you see her opening remarks.

So here's the back-and-forth I had with this psycho less than two hours after I posted the bulletin:

From: Decadent Jaz
Date: Nov 1, 2007 5:16 PM

stupid people music?

From: Brad Spieser
Date: Nov 1, 2007 6:42 PM

sure. disagree?

From: Decadent Jaz
Date: Nov 1, 2007 6:44 PM (Note the snappy reply from this Frisch's waitress)

no music is stupid people music...all music is of value.
but since i like classic rock, among most genres of music, that makes me stupid so i'll take ya off my myspace, wouldn't want you to have stupid people on your friends list.

In case you have trouble interpreting things, this lady, a person old enough to be my mom, dropped me as a MySpace friend because I don't like a certain genre of music. This is not normal behavior.

The sad thing is that I tried to reply but her settings prevent non-friends from sending messages. This hurt my feelings because I wanted to remind her of how old she is. I also requested her online friendship again and she denied me. Which means I need some help from you peoples.

I need as many of you as possible to go to her MySpace page, add her as a friend, and send her the link to this website. In the meantime, tell her how old she is.

And then ask her why she's single...

(Ohio State stuff coming this afternoon.)

-Brad Spieser (