Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Pete Mackanin is an Assface

Here's how I started a blog less than a week ago: "I don't mean to sound like a broken record, but Reds Manager Pete Mackanin is a stupid person."

The reason I wrote such hateful literature is because Josh Hamilton was kept out of the starting lineup so he wouldn't have to face remarkably average lefty Ted Lilly.

Things have gotten worse since then.

Mackanin kept Hamilton out of Tuesday's lineup, presumably because Atlanta southpaw Jo Jo Reyes--a goddamn rookie with an ERA of 8.72--is simply too much for the far-too-green Joshy Hamilton.

Think about what you just read.

Can you imagine if Marvin Lewis--the week of a Bengals-Broncos tilt--announced that Chad Johnson will be taking Sunday off because Champ Bailey is a difficult matchup? Of course not.

Now, it's possible that comparing Jo Jo Reyes to Champ Bailey was a tad ridiculous, but you get the point. And the point is this: Hamilton isn't going to get better if he doesn't face left-handers on a regular basis. And I don't care if cloning experts find a way to morph Sandy Koufax and Johan Santana--and that scientific marvel starts the next ninety games versus the Reds--Josh Hamilton must be in the starting lineup, if only to prevent me from lighting my nephew on fire.

I've written ad nauseam (relatively speaking) about Mackanin's stupidity since he was named manager, and nobody else seems to be jumping on board with me. Well, why exactly is that? Why aren't you as outraged as me? Why isn't this front page news? Why won't this be the topic of conversation on talk radio Wednesday?

I believe only two answers to these questions exist: (1) you stopped following the Reds a month ago, or (2) you are as dumb (if not dumber) than Pete Mackanin.


P.S. I don't care if Hopper gets seventeen bunt hits per game, he just just another guy. Frick.