Tuesday, August 28, 2007

My Vocabulary is Too Small

The list of great left-hander pitchers is full of memorable names...Lefty Grove; Lefty Gomez; Warren Spahn; Sandy Koufax; Randy Johnson; Tom Glavine; Tom Gorzelanny; Paul Maholm.

To quote Tony Kornheiser "that's it, that's the list.

This might be an all-time first, but I've run out of ways to say "I've run out of ways to say I want really bad things to happen to Reds Manager Pete Mackanin."

In case you don't know where this is headed, I'll try to spell it out for you.

The Cincinnati Reds played two games Tuesday.

The Reds' opposition, the Pirates of Pennsylvania, started a lefty in each match.

Josh Hamilton, the best goddamn player in the history of baseball, was kept out of the starting lineup for both games.

The Reds won exactly zero of those games.

For those of you who forgot your TI-82 calculators: Josh Hamilton has now been held out of the lineup five times in the last fourteen games.

As far as I can tell, Michael Vick is a far better human being than Mackanin.