Sunday, August 12, 2007


Yesterday was a disaster. Brad and I made the trip down to Georgetown, Ky in hopes of meeting Chris Henry, and perhaps snapping a photo or two with our hero. We looked like of couple of Stans wearing our "Free Chris Henry" T-shirts, and we even brought one along to present in person to Mr. Henry. Unfortunately, it was not to be. Sunday would not be the day we would come face to face with greatness.

Ogling teenage girls, laughing at fat hillbillies and getting a solid neck sunburn is usually an above average way to spend a summer Sunday afternoon. It's just that we were hoping for more out of the trip to training camp. Brad and I were aware that there was a possibility that the Bengals would limit Chris Henry's interaction with the fans, but we didn't think that he would be ordered NOT TO EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH ANYONE ON HIS WAY OFF THE FIELD! Seriously, while the other players were signing autographs, Henry made a bee line to the locker room without so much as acknowledging any of the onlookers shouting his name. It was as though the Bengals' brass threatened to ground him if he said a word to anyone, so he just got out of there as fast as he could. It's also entirely possible that he's just an asshole. Either way, the experience re-enforced for me the reasons that Chris Henry is the figurehead on the ship that is TWIN KILLING DOT COM.


I'm extremely thankful that the Bengals drafted Jeff Rowe and passed on Troy Smith. Had they drafted Smith, I would have spent the afternoon listening to Brad tell stories about how what a tremendous pro he thought he'd become, what a great leader he was, how he used to get kittens out of trees for old ladies, rescue kids from burning buildings etc. I'm pretty sure Brad sleeps in a Troy Smith OSU jersey and believes that they would have become best friends had the Bengals' drafted him.

Football practice is boring to watch. It would be even worse to participate in.


Did you know there is such a thing called "THE TEXAS REDNECK GAMES"? If anyone has ever wondered why I am a self hating white, it's because there are far too many people like

Baron Davis makes $15 million a year. He's one of the 10 best players in the NBA when healthy. He graduated from LA's Crossroads HS in 1997 with Kate Hudson and Cash Warren (he was dating Jessica Alba for the past two years). He rolls with A-listers and seems like a pretty cool guy who is down with everyone.
Can someone please explain to me how his taste in ladies could be so bad? If I were him, she wouldn't even get a call back from my publicist. (Thanks to the great Bethlehem Shoals of

Everyone has seen the ads for prescription drugs that have horrible side effects like nausea, dizziness, hair loss, diarrhea, erectile dysfunction, insomnia, A.I.D.S. etc. Now there is a drug called Requip that treats Restless Leg Syndrome. It's possible side effects may include THE INCREASED URGE TO GAMBLE AND HAVE SEX!!! I can't make this stuff up, people.
Watch the Requip commercial for yourself.

My old roommate Brad Vitucci moved to L.A. a few years back. He works in the entertainment business, and has been known to send me emails and pictures about things like being in a bar when Dennis Haskins (Mr. Belding from Saved by the Bell) is singing karaoke. This is a myspace message he sent me the other day:

"If I had a camera on Monday I would have hit People Magazine Gold. Eva Longoria had her hand on Tony Parker's schlong less than 3 feet from me at a FANCY restaurant. I'll try to get some b-listers on film for you."

Hopefully we will be hearing from our L.A. correspondent more often in the future.

Cam Carey (8/13/07)