Friday, August 17, 2007

Metamucil + Stool Softener = Discrimination

You probably didn't know this, but it would suck to be a 109 year-old female living in Cincinnati, Ohio. No crap, I isn't lying.

If you're like me, you rarely do the right thing, which is how I arrived at this revelation about old broads. You see, I went to read an online Cleveland Plain Dealer article this morning before being bothered with a "give us your name, zip code and gender before you can read our stuff" survey. "Fine," I thought, "I'll fill out this bullshit, but I'm certainly not going to be honest with my answers!" I'm crazy like that. So anyway, I entered my actual zip code, but told them I was a woman born in 1898, before hitting "submit." And shockingly, this happened. I assumed it was some sort of mistake, but I tried it again--except this time with a born-on date of 1900--and wouldn't you know it, those bastards let me read their publication!

Boys and girls, I think we have a lawsuit on our hands.