Friday, August 24, 2007

I Can't Win

It's 96 minutes past midnight, and I've swallowed nine Coors Lights. Translation: I'm minorly fricked.

Life sucks at the ancient age of 27.

And, uh, the reason I'm blogging at this ungodly hour? How about I answer that question with a multiple choice pop quiz directed at you, the reader? Here goes nothing...

Why am I ready to give a top rope, flying elbow to the face of Reds manager Pete Mackanin?

a. He stole my Chalupa

b. He Frenched my mother

c. He kept Josh Hamilton out of the starting lineup for the third time in the last ten games

If you guessed option C you'd be the big winner of tonight's contest! Congratulations, you win nothing; complain any more and I'll homicide you.

And now, for all the jerks who think Norris Hopper deserves at-bats over Josh Hamilton...consider this: Josh Hamilton has 17 HRs in 245 at-bats this season; Alfonso Soriano--and his $100 million plus contract--hit 46 HRs in 647 at-bats in 2006...

Do the fucking math.