I WONDER IF SHE KNOWS HE SUCKS?

I'm not exactly sure why, but I still watch tv shows aimed at a much younger demo. (Actually, I'm pretty sure it's because I'm immature as hell.) I DVR SAVED BY THE BELL, ONE TREE HILL is still appointment viewing every Wednesday, and in 2003 I was telling anyone who would listen that THE O.C. was the best show to ever air on network television, and I was serious. Back in the day, My roomates and I would turn the ringers off between 8-10 pm so we could watch DAWSON'S CREEK and BEVERLY HILLS 90210 in peace. Obviously, it goes without saying that I love MTV's THE HILLS (Season Three debuts on August 13). In related news, I'm a heterosexual.

Aside from hoops, gambling and hoops gambling, I probably take my teen dramas more seriously than anything else in my life. My two worlds collided the other day when I was going through my daily routine of checking out the latest NBA goings on at hoopshype.com. I noticed a link to an OREGONLIVE.COM report that former Duke underachiever and Portland Traliblazers' second round pick Josh McRoberts is dating THE HILLS' Lauren Conrad. Even though McRoberts cost himself millions by opting for a return to Duke following his freshman year, it doesn't look like it has affected his game off the court.

Upon discovering this tidbit of gossip, I immediately picked up my phone and attempted to call Brad Spieser, my partner in douche-baggery. Before he even gets out hello I ask "Guess who Josh McRoberts is dating?" Without hesitation, Brad responds "Either Lauren Conrad or fellow LAGUNA BEACH alum Kristin Cavallari." The sad thing is, I was fairlly confident that it would not take Brad long to come up with the correct answer to this brainbuster.

The moral of the story is this: No matter how much you suck, there are always others out there who suck just as hard. That and unlike most of you fags, I'm man enough to admit that I watch the same gay shows as your little sister. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go drink whiskey, listen to loud ass rock music and possibly punch people. After all, I'm all man, Baby!

OTHER THINGS:

Jay Mohr has signed on with FOXSPORTS.COM and will be a weekly contributor. This is very good news.

Thanks to Jason Fraley for asking me if I'd seen the myspace page belonging to a girl claiming to second baseman Brandon Phillips' girlfriend/wife. He told me it was blog gold and I should definately post it. I have my doubts about the seriousness of their relationship after looking at her pics. I've known somewhere between 5-85 girls who have banged ballplayers on the side, and this girl seems no different than any of them. I could be wrong but I doubt it.

Sorry Browns fans, but the great folks over at Kissing Suzy Kolber have pointed out that Brady Quinn is every bit the hot karl you probably assumed him to be.

Posted by Cam Carey