Sunday, October 14, 2007

Chiefs 27 Points, Bengals 20 Points

There's no such thing as a silver lining when you lose to a team quarterbacked by one of the Huard brothers.

I know three things:

1. The Bengals are a crappy football team.

2. The season is over.

3. Breaking Benjamin is challenging Hinder to win the title of "Worst Band in the History of Bands."

4. Whether it's all his fault or not, it's time for Marvin Lewis to be given the pink slip.

5. Justin Smith should stop celebrating after he records a sack. Not because he stinks, but because he looks stupid when he tries to act cool. I blame his whiteness.

6. Unless their target is the nursing home community, Geico should scrap the commercials featuring Jed Clampett and Fred Flintstone.

7. Carson Palmer will throw 20 interceptions this season.

8. I will shoot Rich Gannon in the face (or whatever) if he says "ath-a-letic" one more goddamn time. This is probably Rihanna's fault.

9. I really want to eat a bowl of butter pecan ice cream.

10. Rudi Johnson will not finish 2008 as the Bengals starting RB.

37. Chad Johnson has at least three more in-game pouting episodes in him this season.

209. This is the worst I've felt about the Bengals since Marvin Lewis was hired. True or untrue, I attributed last year's December meltdown to Palmer's knee injury. Which is why, as much as I was crushed after the losses to the Broncos and Steelers, I was quite optimistic for this year. Now, I'm just bummed because it's pretty clear that they don't have what it takes to right the ship, and a massive offseason overhaul is necessary. It's not even Halloween, and I'm already thinking about the draft. I forgot how terrible this feeling is.

I blame Levi Jones.

More football words later. I want to hurt someone. You might want to hide, Gannon.

-Brad Spieser