While the dickhead pictured above appears to be nothing more than a run-of-the-mill child molester, he's actually a very important fellow. He's Brad Childress, head coach of the Minnesota Vikings, and he's thisclose to getting his house set on fire. The funny thing about this potential arson in the Minneapolis area is that I'm apparently the only guy who's aware of it.
Here's why:
While every football analyst on the planet was understandably drooling over Adrian Peterson's monster day (361 total yards) in Chicago, it wasn't mentioned once that Brad Childress is the world's dumbest dumb ass for having Adrian Peterson return kickoffs. Punt returners last, kick returners don't. No play in football is it easier for the ball-carrier to get injured than kickoff returns, and Brad Childress thinks it's a good idea to risk the future of the organization in order to achieve a little better field position.
It doesn't matter that Adrian Peterson is just a rookie, or that he's splitting carries with Chester Taylor (another stupid decision)...he's already a superstar, the best RB the Vikings have ever had, so why mess with your own job stability by sending him out for the most dangerous play in the game? Can you imagine if Ladainian Tomlinson, Steven Jackson, Frank Gore, etc., were asked to return kicks for their respective teams? It would be laughable, you know? And why, because they're established stars? Well unless I'm missing something, Peterson is as good as the guys I just mentioned. Really.
And I realize that Peterson is an extraordinary kick returner, but that's not where his true value lies. Think about it in baseball terms. Would A-Rod be the best leadoff hitter in the game? Obviously. Would Randy Johnson have been the most dominant closer in the game? I believe so. So why weren't they put in those roles? The answer is simple: They were more valuable to their teams batting third in the lineup and as a starting pitcher.
You've been warned, Childress.
-Brad Spieser
10/15/07
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