Sunday, September 23, 2007

Glenn Holt Must Die

You probably don't know this, but I've punched men before. Now, I haven't done this to a high number of men, and my success was marginal, but it has happened. I only bring this up because--if presented with the opportunity--I would throw haymakers on Glenn Holt.



I don't know about a lot of things, but I know that Carson Palmer would have easily marched the Bengals into FG range if it weren't for Holt's fumble. One minute remaining, three timeouts...puh-lease. This is a crushing defeat. Crushing. The Bengals outplayed Seattle, at their deafening death trap, and it doesn't mean a damn thing. The Bengals still have a 1-2 record. Silver linings are for assholes.

I tell you what's a weird thing: trying to decide which loss (Cleveland or Seattle) hurt more. It's kind of like deciding if it hurt more when your girlfriend (if I had one) cheated on you with your brother, or when she did the same thing with your best friend; either way, it sucks. In both cases, you have to ask yourself one question: "Why do I stay with her (or them)?" Sometimes it's hard coming up with a good answer.

But anyway, back to deciding which loss hurt more...I say this one. The Bengals were forced to play a LB corps of Anthony Schlegel, Dhani Jones and Lemar Marshall for more than a few snaps. And Kenny Watson...was he clutch or what? What about Bob Bratkowski's outstanding play-calling? Christ.

I'm not a smart man, but I know this...

The better team lost. Also...

My hypothetical girlfriend is a spectacular whore.

Lengthy blog to be posted before bedtime. I'll give my thoughts on Chad and TJ, and the obvious need for Chris Perry. And hopefully I'll have injury updates for Big Willie and Rudi. Oh yeah, why is Johnny Joseph so bad this year? And I'll probably complain about the refs again.

And I also want to give my opinion of dangerous Olympic sports and smokeless tobacco. Keep checking back, peoples.

-Brad Spieser