Saturday, February 7, 2009

I Could Be The Rosa Parks Of My Generation

I gave it another shot last night; once again, I failed to start a revolution.

Setting: Work

Time: 4:00 a.m.

Topic: Sitting down to pee.

The conversation went something like this (joined in mid-conversation)...

Co-worker pal Danny: You sit down to pee? Really?

Me: Yeah. Why wouldn't I? I mean, we're sitting down right now, right? But why? Why aren't we standing? I'll answer this for you: Because sitting is more comfortable than standing! Your gorilla logic suggests we should do everything standing up...eating, sleeping, unprotected intercourse, whatever. Shit, you'd probably stand while you sit if it were possible. Are you seeing my point here, friend-o?

Danny: But dude...

Me: And listen, have you ever had to spill urine in the middle of the night, especially after consuming several glasses of blueberry vodka? Of course you have. And I'm guessing your aim isn't exactly up to Gold Medal standards, either. Which means...what, exactly? That your sorry ass has to clean up a messy toilet because you think it's somehow more manly to pee on your feet.

Danny: I concede that you've made more than a handful of excellent points, Bradley, however I'm against progress: I still think blacks and whites should use separate water fountains and women shouldn't be allowed to vote----thus, I will be in the upright position the next time I make a toilet.

Me: Oh well. Do you still want to listen to the latest Taylor Swift jam together?

Danny: Frickin' A!

-----End of conversation-----

Final point: Listen, this "peeing sitting down" thing has reached the point where not only do I think it's the wise thing to do, I kind of think you're an idiot if you don't. Just remember...sitting is more comfortable than standing.

Anyway, Saturday's picks, with special help from the Brian Vickers System...


Auburn (+3.5)
vs. Tennessee

Duke (-13.5) vs. Miami

Depaul (+15) vs. Pitt

Nebraska (+3.5) vs. Texas

Marshall (-6.5) vs. Tulane

Florida State (+9.5) vs. Clemson

Duquesne (+6.5) vs. Xavier'

Wright State (+2) vs. Butler

Texas Tech (+4.5) vs. Baylor

Oregon State (+8.5) vs. Arizona State

College of Charleston (+17) at Davidson


Bucks (+3.5)
vs. Pistons

Yesterday: 3-3
Overall: 297-262-18

-Brad Spieser (