Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Once upon a time -- way back in 2001 -- I interned for Ken Broo's mostly unlistenable radio program on 1160 BOB, and even contributed weekly as a movie reviewer. Let me tell you, boys and girls, as bad as it sounds, I assure you it was worse. And trust me, none of this was Broo's fault----I was simply that bad. I tried to give an honest review of garbage movies (instead of goofing on the situation), and when I tried to be funny Broo had no idea what I was going for. All in all, it was dreadful experience, and probably the low light of my on-air career.
But anyway, I once reviewed Summer Catch, the not-completely-terrible baseball movie starring Fredrick Prinze the ninth and my future intercourse slave, Jessica Biel. And when I gave my review that day (presumably in the summer) I didn't mention the most annoying scene in the film, probably because the annoying secene in question follows up some real horny shit.
Scene set: Biel, the rich girl in town, and Prinze, the lawn boy/baseball prodigy/knucklehead, decide to swim in the rain at her giant house in her giant pool. (Important note: Biel enters the pool wearing a tight baby blue T-shirt and her navy blue underpants.). Anyway, right as the French kissing is about to get underway, Biel's rich, disapproving prick of a father interrupts and both Prinze and Biel have to flee the scene. Especially Prinz, who runs around the front of the house, past a driveway full of expensive cars.
Here's where I start to lose my mind...
Prinze sets off a car alarm in a physical act that makes absolutely no sense. I mean, none it all. You'll have to watch for yourself, but it won't be difficult to see. I'm guessing the director wanted Prinze to make it seem like he just bumped into the car (which would've added to the chaos of the moment), but that is the furthest thing from actually transpired. Prinze runs up to the car, presses on the trunk and the alarm doesn't sound. I'm guessing this is about the time when the director (who probably has a name) gave the old "keep it rolling" motion, because Prinze's response was simply to apply even more pressure to the trunk, because, you know, that's precisely what one would do if he were running for his life in his boxers.
Okay, so there you have it. Now it's time to watch the video. I'd say to start viewing at the 2:00 mark, but I know better: Ms. Jessica Biel Spieser is swimming in the two minutes leading up to Prinze's mad dash, plus you hate your life, and, well, did I mention Jessica Biel is in her underwear? Enjoy (and forgive -- or simply ignore -- the Japanese dubbing)...
-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
Posted by Twin Killing dot Com at 5:01 PM