Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Gambling 2K8: XXXV (Hell Is Noisy Old Folks)

(Picture of my life being ruined by Angela Lansbury fans)

Forget burning books...let's burn libraries!

Remember when the library was the place to go for (a.) quiet time and (b.) masturbating?

Let me tell you, those days are long over. As I sit here at the Monfort Heights Library - trying to update this very decent website and whatnot - about 22 elderly idiots are playing Wii bowling on a projection screen and applauding every single roll of the ball. That includes gutterballs and balls that don't even make it to the end of the lane. It's almost as if they're proclaiming, "Who cares if you didn't knock down any pins, none of us have died in the past eight minutes!"

Anyway, I'm an adult living with attention deficit disorder. Ordinarily this is no big deal. However, I'm also a mindless dope who happened to forget his prescription medicine at home. So, it's probably not too difficult to imagine how much I want to strangle this room full of unsuccessful bowlers.

At least I have gambling to keep me sane. NBA picks, anyone?

Thunder (+9) vs. Celtics

Words: Boston hasn't let up one bit since cutting down the nets back in June. They've gotten older and lost James Posey, but they haven't let up. Kevin Garnett still has them playing hard and Paul Pierce looks like a guy who wants another ring. Hands down, the C's are the best team in the East and I really don't see anyone on their heels. The Thunder? Kevin Durant is looking like a superstar, Jeff Green is going to be a great jack-of-all-trades player and '08 1st rounder Russell Westbrook is a keeper. But that's about it. The rest of their roster is filled with dime-a-dozen guys (read: Collison, Nick and Smith, Joe).

Being that Boston (a.) hasn't gotten fat and happy and (b.) were great last year on the second night of back-to-backs (as is the case tonight), I'm not really sure why the line is single digits. Wish us luck!

Pacers (+3.5) vs. Suns

Words: As someone who saw Phoenix drifting into irrelevance, let me drop the Lee Corso treatment on my own head...Not so fast, my friend! At least for now. I can't see the Suns contending, but Shaq looks lighter on his feet, Nash is still healthy, the Matt Barnes pick-up was brilliant and of course, Amare Stoudemire is roughly twenty times better than any big man on Indiana's roster. And while the Nash-era Suns have never been loaded with depth, I'll take Leandro Barbosa and Boris Diaw over anyone on the Pacers' bench. I am not happy (unhappy) about this particular wager.

Season record: 53-41-1

-Brad Spieser (