Monday, September 22, 2008

Pop Culture Thoughts (And Cop Horses Are Stupid)

In case you missed it, the song that's sweeping the nation--Kid Rock's "All Summer Long"--includes the following line:

'And we were trying different things
We were smoking funny things'

You read that correctly.

I'm hoping one day I can be as clever as Kid Rock was in the summer of 2008, when he rhymed "things" with "things" within a span of six words.

Another pop culture-related thought: I want David Blaine to die. Hell, maybe I need David Blaine to die. Don't get me wrong, he seems like an okay guy, but if he stopped breathing during one of those made-for-tv stunts where he hangs himself upside down in a block of ice, buried in a coffin on top of the Statue of least I'll know he wasn't full of shit.

And let's face it, anything less than televised death and Blaine's life is a complete and utter failure. (Note: The "complete and utter failure" thing doesn't take into account the millions of dollars in Blaine's savings account and/or the countless number of unprotected intercourse sessions he's had with 20-year-old underpants models.)

One other thing before moving to other things: If the rumors are true, that Dwight won't be on this season of The Office, well, that's it...I'm slicing my throat before breakfast.

Anyway, my computator is messed up again and the bastards at (an Internet website) are working hard to repair it and whatnot. This is bad news all the way around. This means that your pal Brad will have to use the Dad's computator whenever it's available. This means that I'll have to spend time at the parents' crib. This means that the Mom will make me blueberry muffins and chocolate cookie squares at an alarming rate, which is a plus. But it also means that I won't have as much time to work on the site. Which is probably an admission I shouldn't be making - and it might actually make me dumber than everyone who openly loves that Kid Rock song.

The point?

I doesn't really have one. But I did post three new podcasts, and they're all really funny. With use of the Nos. 1, 2 and especially 3, I will briefly write about each of them below.

the absurdity of online pornography should not, under any circumstances, be listened to at work. In fact, if NSFW is the equivalent to an R rating, then RNSFWUYBSHADMTTCSKPIBTS is like an NC-17. (And if you were wondering, RNSFWUYBSHADMTTCSKPIBTS stands for "Really Not Safe For Work Unless Your Boss Somehow Has A Dirtier Mouth Than The Character Sam Kinison Played In Back To School." But your kids are gonna love it!

the economy and the size of snickers bars notes how--now stay with me here--the economy is affecting the size of Snickers bars. In fact, I even drop the following line: "The economy, if anything, it's affecting the size of Snickers bars." I guess what I'm trying to say is that you won't be any smarter after listening to this podcast.

cops on horses equal stupid is something I'm extremely passionate about. First, why do they just trot down the middle of a downtown street at roughly 0.81 MPH while I'm trying to make the next light before it's been red for a full two seconds? Second, let's say I run that stoplight after it's been red for a full two seconds, well, what in the hell is a cop driving a horse going to do about it? One million people were polled and they all agree: Cops on cop horses are dumb.

Three podcasts! All awesome! Listen to them or I'll hit you in the face (or neck) with a hammer. One of the ones with claws on the back.

-Brad Spieser (