Friday, March 13, 2009

Incoherent Thoughts About Syracuse-UConn (And Hoops In General)


"I'm with u. they're one of maybe 8 schools that can do it."

That was roughly 40 hours ago.

The topic: Syracuse.

It was a text reply I sent to my buddy Cam during the first half of Syracuse's Big East tourney win over Seton Hall. (Note: Cam's message predicted Syracuse to win it all. We think alike.)

Are my words important right now? Of course not. Do you believe me? Does it matter?

I hate being too busy for this site. Syracuse defeated UConnecticut last night in what is inarguably the best non-March Madness game ever, and I'm stuck here writing how I wanted to tell everyone just how great Syracuse is (or could be). But again, it doesn't matter.

The only thing worse than dishonesty for a blogger is tardiness. Facts don't matter nearly as much as being first. This time around, I screwed up big time.

Story.

When I received the March 9, 2009 Sports Illustrated (see above), I thought three things:

1. That's an awesome cover.

2. Pitt, Memphis and Lousiville are supposedly three of the eight best teams in the country, and yet they don't have what it takes to win six consecutive games in March.

3. Wait, is Sports Illustrated stealing Grant Wahl's bit?

Explain.

1. The cover is awesome.

2. I've been through this already with Pitt. Levance Fields will get swallowed whole by a better point guard (not his fault, he's just not that talented) and DeJaun Blair, while great (and he got robbed by having to share the Big East P.O.Y. award) isn't the type of player who will carry a team to six straight wins in a one-and-done format (and what if he gets in foul trouble?). Trust me, when it's all said and done, you'll see that Pitt is one of those maximun-effort, sum-is-greater-than-the-whole teams that loses in round two or three when their more-skilled opponent matches their energy and focus for forty minutes.

As for Memphis, I'm still not sure what makes them so special. Their best player is freshman point guard Tyreke Evans, and he's nowhere near as good as last year's freshman point guard, Derrick Rose. The surrounding parts? There's nothing to see here. Good but not great. I'll bet anyone any amount of cash Memphis isn't playing on the third weekend of the tournament.

It pains me to add Louisville to the list of teams I can't see winning it all. They have almost every ingredient needed to win a national title: Coaching, depth, overall athleticism, size, guard play, a talented do-everything senior who kills himself on both ends (Terrance Williams), perimeter defense (their backup guards, Preston Knowles and Andre McGee remind me of former Bearcats A.D. Jackson and Terrance Gibson) and although it's not a necessity, they also have a guy who can score -- and sometimes be a force of nature -- in the post (Samardo Samuels).

But I said almost.

Lousiville can't shoot a lick. Making matters worse, they think they can. Have you ever seen a Pitino-coached team who didn't have at least one marksman? I haven't. I don't have the statistics in front of me, but it seems like they jack up 800 3s a game, and as much as I've watched Louisville this year, I've never felt like one of them was going in. If you watch hoops, you know what I'm talking about -- you just know who's a good shooter and who isn't...or who even has the ability to get hot.

Nick Van Exel (probably not the best example for a rational argument) wasn't a great three-point shooter. But he could get piping hot for weeks at a time. Lousiville has nothing resembling a mammal like that on their roster, but they play like they do. Which is why they won't be cutting down the nets in early April.

(I swear this whole thing is about Syracuse...)

3. Grant Wahl is Sports Illustrated's best college hoops writer, and although I haven't read his online column in over two years (for no reason whatsoever), I always liked his early-winter "Magic Eight" piece, where he selects not the best eight teams in the country, but the eight teams who have the necessary ingredients to win the damn thing. Big difference. (For instance, nobody in their right mind would say Pitt isn't one of the three or four best -- much less eight -- teams in the country.) Anyway, Sports Illustrated, Wahl's employer, kind of stole his gimmick last week. And it got me to thinking...now I have a chance to steal Wahl's gimmick.

I looked at that awesome cover and thought, Jesus, three of these teams aren't even good enough to play in my backyard, much less win it all. The other five, I thought, had a great shot.

Let's take a look:

North Carolina: The best team. You're likely winner. I'll be rooting against them.

Oklahoma: Not-so-long-shot prediction: Blake Griffin finishes his NBA career as one of the eight best power forwards of all time. The last time I was positive a big man was going to carry his team to the Final Four was early-March, year 2000. His name was Kenyon Martin. (Doctor, I'll inject myself...)

Duke: Maybe the second best team in the country. Can't beat Carolina. The good news: Won't have to face them until the Final Four.

UConnecticut: Having Jerome Dyson around puts them at 1B to Carolina's 1A. Without him, they still have to be considered one of the favorites. (Quick thought: If I'm a Husky fan, I'm thrilled my team lost in 6OT; the last thing they need is dead legs next week.)

Michigan State: Math time...great point guard + good overall talent + Tom Izzo will never get outcoached = Sparty is plenty good enough to make a run at it.

But that's just five teams. If I want to truly rip off Grant Wahl, I need more.

First up...Syracuse.

Anticlimactic, I know, but it doesn't make it any less true.

They have a great point guard who can both score and distribute (Johnny Flynn), they have a streaky two-guard with A+ passing and finishing skills (Eric Wiggerdorf), a moneyball shooter (Andy Rautins), an athletic, muscle-bound finisher who mostly understands his limitations (Paul Harris), bangers down low who aren't stiff idiots and a coach who's coached in title games during each of the last three decades. Plus, as we officially know today, they're bloody hot with a ton of heart. But the signs have been there for a month, and I'm not really sure why everyone was sleeping on them before the UConn game. The Cuse can win six straight, but I didn't need to tell you that.

Wake Forest. There's a good chance that of the three current college hoops players who will have the best NBA careers, Wake has two of them (Teague and Aminu). The Deamon Deacs are (a.) athletic as hell, (b.) skilled and (c.) ballsy. What else do you want? They're also perimiter-oriented (a big plus) and possess the "Let's do it for our dead coach" angle, which will undoubtedly be played up by CBS come the second week of the tournament.

Anybody who watched Wake's first game against the Tar Heels knows they won't be afraid of the biggest stage.

Gonzaga. I can't help it. I'm a sucker for the Zags, it's true, but this squad is different -- I'll always love the Zags (their ten-year run is truly astonishing), but I'm not attached the way I once was. I used to root for Gonzaga because they played with huge balls. But the Pargo-Heytfelt group is soft, always has been. It's more mental than physical, but it still counts. But they're also one of the five most talented teams in college basketaball, so it's not a shocker that I'm sucked in again.

Fact: If Gonzaga plays six perfect games they can beat anyone. Anyone.

Fact: It won't happen.


So there's my eight. I've been dying to write this column for over a week, but haven't had the chance. I had a recording session scheduled today with Craig and canceled it Thursday afternoon because I wanted to write these words before Selection Sunday. Does it have the same glimmer now that Syracuse basketball is tatooed on everyone's consciousness? No. Do I want to kill myself because of it? You betcha.

Before saying goodbye, a couple things about last night's game:

1. I barely watched any of it. Last night was my first night bartending (a trainee!) and despite being surrounded by a million TVs, I only watched here or there. Focus, man. Focus.

2. But I did watch here and there, and I was desperately rooting for UConn, especially at the end of regulation. This is because I didn't want to come off like a chump when Syracuse proved their worth. All I wanted them to do was fade away, secure a five seed and rip things up in the tourney. Once it got to the third overtime I knew that was merely a pipe dream.

3. I was so mad at the outcome of the game -- and what it meant to this column -- that I still haven't watched highlights or read game accounts since returning home from work. If that ain't bitterness, I don't know what is.

That's all for now.

More March Madness thoughts (and a return of the Vickers!) to come in the next few days. I can hardly sit still or keep a though in my head.

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
3/13/09


Wednesday, March 11, 2009

sentences

New podcast posted. It's about Craig's marrage.

Listen or receive anthrax in the mail.

-Brad Spieser
3/11/09

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

As I Take Me A Drink To The Middle Of The Street...


Definitive sign that I may be drinking too much:

Yesterday was Monday. Today is Tuesday. It's not even the middle of the week yet. And I received no less than four text messages this morning that went something like this: "R u alive dude?"

"Of course," I said. "LOL!"

(In case you were wondering...yes, I popped my karaoke cherry last night. Three times! The songs? "Shoop" from Salt 'N' Pepa, "It Takes Two" by MC Rob Base and D.J. Ez Rock and "I Want it That Way" by the Backstreet Boys. Predictably, there was no need for the teleprompter.)

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
3/10/09

Monday, March 9, 2009

Strange Things Are Afoot At Downtown YMCA


My friend Craig is a legend at the Linn Street YMCA. And by "legend," I mean he was solely responsible for the most psychotic act that building has ever seen. We even did a podcast about it! (Note: scroll down the podcast player to "Craig Gets Thrown Out Of YMCA Basketball Game.")

Anyway, the Linn Street YMCA, or "The Carl" as it's also known, was recently a topic of two short podcasts -- I fused them together and now you can here them on my Internet website, www.TwinKilling.com!

Keep the change, you filthy animals.

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
3/9/09

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Asian Baseball + Black College Football = Blog Topic


Things...

When I was 11-years-old I wondered why Grambling wasn't a dominant football program. I am now 28 and I wonder why Japanese and Korean baseball players are so much better than Chinese baseball players.

I am not the poster child for progress.

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
3/8/09

Friday, March 6, 2009

Bearcat Basketball and Bengals Football (Sports!)



(SITE UPDATE: New podcast posted. Me wants to drink Miller High Lives. Me doesn't want to preview the newest podcast.)

I briefly glanced at the television last night, and it was showing the cable network called ESPN. And on this ESPN was a basketball contest between the Providence College Shamgods and the Villanova Fighting Eric Eberz's, and anyway, I happened to notice a projected Big East tournament bracket. Among the things that caught this guy's (pointing at myself) attention:

First round: Cincinnati vs. Depaul...winner gets the aforementioned Providence Shamgods...with the winner likely facing UConnecticut.

Ladies and gentlemen, sign me up. I still kinda think the Bearcats stink, but to have a cakewalk (relatively speaking) first rounder against the Blue Demons, followed by a beatable Providence squad, to essentially playing UConn in a win-and-you're-in set-up...I couldn't ask for anything better. Especially considering the egg they laid down in Tampa.

Now, I give them very little chance of pulling this off -- maybe 10 percent -- but hey, it's something.

End of Bearcat words.

***Bengals matters***



Forget for a second how much I hated the Lavernues Coles signing and focus on how I'm sick of Marvin Lewis treating Bengals fans like incompetent morons. Listen up, buddy: We can read. And thanks to the Internet we have access to much of the same statistics as you. Jerk off!

Here's a portion of the head coach's comment about the recently acquired wideout: "If you look at his yards per catch, his average is very high and that's where we needed to improve."

To that I say...REALLY! It was 2003 the last time Coles had a noteworthy YPC (see for yourself). In the five seasons that followed, Coles averaged 10.6, 11.6, 12.1, 11.7 and 12.1 yards-per-catch. It's not awful, but it's certainly nothing to brag about. I did a little digging (sounds impressive, doesn't it?) and discovered that Coles hasn't finished higher than 58th in the YPC category over the past five years.

And let's not forget he's never had more than seven TDs in any one season.

And now he's a Bengal.

And he'll be 35 when his contract expires.

His contract, by the way, will pay him $7 million per year.

! (Exclamation Point!)

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Several Exclamation Points!)

What the hell are the Bengals thinking? If they were going to over-pay a free agent, why not one who plays a position of need. Does a Matt Birk or a Jeff Saturday ring a bell?

To recap...

1. Marvin Lewis is a liar. And a jerk off.

2. Mike Brown doesn't have a goddamn clue.


But we already knew that.

Question: Why do I still care?

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
3/6/09

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Do You Love Your Family Because You Have To?


Why do love your parents? Is it because they're great people, or perhaps it's only because you know them longer than everyone else? Isn't there a great possibility that people living right down the street from them are much better people?

What about friends and other family members? Do you truly enjoy their company? Do you even have all that much in common with them? Or again, do you just know them longer? Are you simply used to them?

If it seems like I've been reading a bunch of Malcolm Gladwell lately, I haven't. But Craig and I recently recorded about various topics, including "why he hates (yet loves) his big brother, The Hobbit." And although we laugh throughout the four-plus minute podcast, there's more than a few legitimate things to chew on.

Will listening to "Craig Hates (Yet Loves) His Big Brother" make you a smarter person? Probably not. Will it get you to examine a handful of the relationships in your life? In the words of Georger Zimmer, "I guarantee it."

Either way, we (and by "we," I mostly mean Craig) deliver more honesty and entertainment than anything you'll hear on terrestrial radio this afternoon.

Tell your friends.

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
3/5/09

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

This Just In: Cedric Benson Isn't The Savior


Let's start this thing off with the most inappropriate text message that's ever been sent (courtesy of my buddy Cam): "Do you think Marquis Cooper and Corey Smith are partying with Bison Dele right now?

Onto other matters...

The Bengals re-signed Cedric Benson, but their running back issues are far from being resolved. I know, I know, I'm simply stating the obvious here, but maybe not. In today's Enquirer, in the article titled "Benson's ready for full time," some guy named Joe Reedy wrote the following line: "With Benson signed, that means the Bengals do not have to draft a running back early in the April 25-26 draft and can focus on other needs, like the offensive line. It is possible they would consider drafting a running back in the late rounds for depth."

What? Late rounds? Consider? Isn't running back still a priority? Why not round three? Hell, why not anything after round one, so long as a true difference-maker fell to you? Listen, Benson averaged less than three-and-a-half yards-per-carry last season, right on par with his career average...is he suddenly the savior? Has he ever proven that he's capable of full-time duty? I concede he's talented enough to earn carries in the league, but is he anything more than a spoke in the wheel? Just because he was the best RB on the roster last year doesn't mean he was worth a crap -- it merely means he was contending for playing time with washed-up hacks. There's a difference.

Anyway, I'm happy the Bengals signed Cedric Benson to a reasonable two-year contract, and he might turn out to be the savior, but I wouldn't bet on it. Unfortunately, Mike Brown is in control, and it's entirely possible he has his man, meaning that the running back position won't be given the necessary attention it deserves for the second consecutive offseason.

If recent history has proven anything, it's that you should never go more than two years without spending a mid-round pick on a running back. There are more competent players at RB than at any other position in the NFL. Hell, there are guys we've never heard of -- from NFL bench-warmers to undrafted free agents who never get a fair chance -- who are quite capable of an 1,100-yard, 8-TD season. I think this is because, in a pinch, all a running back really needs to do is read his blocks and trust his instincts. Sure, it helps to be an intelligent player, but a missed block here or there is forgivable if you've rushed for 130 yards on the day.

Anyway, the Bengals really shouldn't rely on Cedric Benson as a workhorse, with the usual suspects (Chris Perry, Ken Watson, DeDe Dorsey, etc.) waiting in the wings. They need some new blood, some fresh legs. Look at last year's first seven backs taken after the first round and tell me the Bengals should stand pat:

Matt Forte and Ray Rice (2nd round); Kevin Smith, Jamaal Charles and Steve Slaton (3rd round); Tashard Choice (4th round -- and remember, the Cowboys already had Marion Barber in the fold, and drafted Felix Jones three rounds earlier); Ryan Torain (5th round). All contributed in some way in their rookie year.

(Note: Peyton Hillis was taken in the 7th round.)

That's remarkable. Now, most years aren't going to be like 2008, but they certainly could. Regardless, the running back position should never be neglected. I understand if you don't want to grab one early, but always grab one. Injuries happen, you know? More often at RB than any other positon (or at least it seems that way). But it's also the one position where an organization should never ever ever ever EVER be caught with their thumb up their ass -- just as the Bengals were in '07 and '08.

Draft a RB in the 3rd or 4th round! Any one! Preferably a fast one. They're out there. Trust me.

(Bengals update: My brother just told me the Bengals spent money on Laverneus Coles. My initial reation: I don't like it. I'll comment on this later. For now I have to go to work.)

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
3/4/09

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Two More And They're In?


I watched UC's triumph (or whatever) over West Virginia and instantly turned to my friends and said, "Thank God they play at Syracuse next."

What?

Here's what I was thinking: You look at the schedule before the year and "at Syracuse" is a loss. It just is. This is especially true when "at Syracuse" immediately follows an emotional victory against Huggs and the Mountaineers. There was simply no way they were going to win -- and a blowout loss was entirely possible (remember: this UC team still ain't all that great) -- at Syracuse, against a more talented, similarly desperate Orange team.

Anyway, we've been told for some time now that a 10-8 record in the Big East all but guarantees the Cats of an NCAA berth, and with "at South Florida" and "home/Seton Hall" the only games remaining, it might not be such a bad thing to be coming off an ugly loss in the Carrier Dome. Intensifies the focus, you know?

Now, whether it's as cut-and-dried as "10-8 and you're in" remains to be seen. But I have a hard time believing the Cats will be left out if they accomplish such a thing.

All they (should) need is a modest two-game win streak against two somewhat lousy teams, and it starts tonight in Tampa, Florida, where the Cats will take on the Bulls of South Florida.

Am I excited? I don't know, I guess. Yeah, sort of.

End of words.

(By the way, South Florida, only a two-and-a-half-point underdog is a Vickers tonight, but I'm conveniently giving the system a rest for one day)

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
3/3/09

Monday, March 2, 2009

Sports Conversation! (Exclamation Point)


Question: What do Jason Richardson, Jose Calderon, Nick Van Exel, JJ Redick, Brian Vickers, Tyler Hansborough, Luke Harangody, Charles Barkley and Tracy Jones have in common?

Answer: They're all mentioned in "Sports Podcast....Sort Of," the latest podcast from www.TwinKilling.com's superstar tandem of Brad (me) and Craig (a person).

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
3/3/09

Reason To Be Excited (But Not Really)!


Three consecutive Vickers-only posts!

My apologies. I'll post something of substance before bedtime tonight. I kind of promise.

***NCAAB***

Irish (-2.5)
vs. Supernova

Longhorns (-8) vs. Baylor Bears

Elon (+14.5) vs. Davidson

***NBA***

Sixers (-2)
vs. Hornets

Wiz (+4) vs. Hawks

Heat (+3.5) vs. Pro Cavs

Thunder (+6) vs. Mavs

Clips (+8) vs Spurs

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
3/2/09

Sunday, March 1, 2009

letters on a computer screen

***NCAAB***

The Ville (-9) vs. Marquette Warriors

Rutgers (+3.5) vs. Providence College

***NBA***

Suns (+4) vs. Lakers

Nets (+3.5) vs. Horny

Hawks (+3.5) vs. Pro Cavs

Pacers (+2) vs. Nuggs

Warriors (+5) vs. Jazz

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
March Madness happens this month

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Saturday Vickers

***NCAA***

Cleveland State (+7) at Butler

College Cavs (+6.5) vs. Wake

Red Raiders (+9.5) vs. Blake Griffin suffered a concussion from a love tap

Hokies (+5.5) vs. Duke is Duke

Purdue (-9.5) vs. Ohio State

Temple (+3) at Dayton, Ohio

Okie State (-1.5) vs. Longhorns

San Dog (+9.5) vs. Gonzorga

The Hall (+10) vs. Pitt

TCU (+4) vs.San Dog State

Wazzu (+1.5) vs. Sun Devils

***NBA***

Sixers (+2) vs. Madge

Tennessee Grizzly Bears (-7.5) vs. Thunder

Bulls (+1) vs. Rockets

This computer sucks

-Brad Spieser

Friday, February 27, 2009

I Still Miss Bob Huggins


I don't like watching important sporting contests in bars, but that's precisely what I did last night for the UC-WVU match. There are two reasons I try to avoid the bar for big games: First, it's impossible to watch (and analyze) every single possession the way you can on your couch. Second, I'm a celebratory drinker----and if my team loses a heartbreaker, well, I'm a miserable bastard all night. But there's a flipside to that coin: if my team wins, there's a better-than-decent chance I'll buy you a shot of something delicious.

Last night, I bought shots.

But before I tackle the what-does-it-all-mean-for-UC's-tourney-chances question, I must first comment on the return of Coach Higgs. And by "the return of Coach Higgs," I mean the tear-jerking one-minute video tribute to Bob Huggins that I finally watched a few minutes ago.

Listen, I've noted on several occasions that it's not difficult for me to be moved to tears. Whether it's the Jimmy V speech, certain scenes of Father of the Bride or Apollo 13 or whatever...I can lose it with ease. And I'm okay with that. It's good to have your emotions moved to tears, you know? Sure, it makes me a homo, but I can't help it.

As noted, the aforementioned video tribute lasts only sixty seconds, but I would've watched for six million -- and I would've cried the whole way through. Sometimes I forget how much those early Huggins teams meant to me (I was nine when he came to town). They busted their ass on every play and it was obvious to anyone with eyeballs that every player on the roster would've laid down in traffic for the man (as I've often joked I would).

Anyway, I just finished another brief crying session. And why? Because I feel an insanely close connection to a complete stranger who excelled at teaching young black kids almost two decades ago. Think about that. It reminds me of maybe the best line (although it's not spoken) from Stand By Me: "I never had better friends than the friends I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?"

Truer words have never been spoken (or in the case of Stand By Me, written).

Mick Cronin might win the next twenty national titles, but he'll never be Bob Huggins -- he entered my life too late.

Okay, okay, here's the video...



I'll put UC's win in perspective tomorrow; I really didn't plan on getting emotional and going Gordy Lachance on you. My apologies.

***********

Only because I have to, here are tonight's Vickers...

Timberwolfs (+4.5) vs. Blaze
Mavs (-9) vs. Durant
Nuggs (+2.5) vs. Lakers
Canada Dinosaurs (+5.5) at PHX
Spurs (+1.5) vs. Pro Cavs
Bobs (pick) at Warriors

Yesterday: 4-3
Overall: 370-315-18

-Brad Spieser (
Brad@TwinKilling.com)
2/27/09

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Coach Higgins Is Back In Town. Perhaps You've Heard


1. A new podcast is posted. You're might be listening to it right now. It's titled "Hair Products And The Legitimacy Of Jesus," but you probably already knew that. It's slightly better than non-terrible. We discuss, among other things, hair products and the legitimacy of Jesus. You might want to listen.

2. Huggs comes back tonight. I would lay down in traffic for the man. Tonight could be difficult. As of now, I'm far too emotional to write anything coherent. I will try to put this in perspective tomorrow.

3. Mo Egger posted video of his favorite Bearcat win on his blog today. He chose the 2002 victory over Memphis. Solid win----Steve Logan adds to his legacy (or whatever)----but nowhere near the best Bearcat win of the Huggs era. I mean, did you watch the '98 Great Alaska Shootout? Anyway, because I don't want to complete bite his gimmick, here's video of one of the worst losses of the Huggs era...the '97 second-round tourney loss to Iowa State.

In this video you will get to see (a.) a relatively skinny Bob Huggins, (b.) Darnell Burton, (c.) Darnell Burton being tackled at the most critical moment of the game, the referees reacting to said on-court assault by whistling Burton for a travelling violation and (e.)Brad Spieser throwing a remote control.

Enjoy:


But seriously, I always think about stuff like, would Huggs still be here if they won the Iowa State game? Ditto for the Jarrod West game, or even his last game against Kentucky University, when Jihad Muhammed decided to miss about 75 shots in the last five minutes. Questions, man. Questions.

By the way, I'm predicting a UC loss tonight...and they'll struggle to crack 50 points.

Thursday Vickers...

***NCAAB***

Flyin' Illini (-8) vs. Gold Gophers

St. Joey (+3.5) vs. Muskies

College Cavs (3.5) vs. Hurricanes

UAB Blazers (+4) vs. Memphis State

Wazzu (-2.5) vs. Zona

Steve Nash (+10) vs. Gonzorga

***NBA***

Rockets (+3.5) vs. LeBron James

Yesterday: 2-6
Overall: 366-312-18

-Brad Spieser (
Brad@TwinKilling.com)
2/26/09

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

I Might Not Be The World's Biggest Nick Van Exel Fan


The subject line read, "Nick Van Exel game tapes."

I sobered right up. Here is what a complete stranger sent me recently:

Hi,

I notices on a recent blog about Yancy Gates that your a huge Van Exel fan. I also am a huge Nick fan and have 68 Van Exel games on DVD. I am writing this email to see if you would potentially like to trade games as im always looking for Nick games I dont have or if you would be interested in selling copies of games I want to me, im willing to pay very nicely. I have a 200 plus NBA dvd collection of all sorts of games, a 2 hr highlight dvd on Nick i made from highlights shown on NBA action, sports centre, just various places. I am also desperately looking for the Van Exel Beyond the Glory episode aired in 03.

please email back and if interested ill send you the list of the games I have.

thanks

Brad D******* (huge Cats and Nick fan)

Now, forgive the various typographical and grammatical errors and focus on the greater meaning: THERE'S A CHANCE I MIGHT NOT BE THE BIGGEST PSYCHO ON THE PLANET!

And really, I'll be upset if that's true. But it might be. I've had semi-regular email correspondence (to verify I'm not being messed with by a buddy) with this lunatic since his initial email (aka intimidation tactic), and I can tell you with absolute certainty: I might not be the biggest Nick Van Exel fan on the planet.

Now, would I bet against myself in a Nick Van Exel trivia contest? Hell no. I say the following line knowing full well what a homo I sound like: I always just assumed I was the biggest Van Exel fan around, to the point where I'd be shocked if anyone, anywhere knew more about the man than I did. But that might not be the case, and that kind of bums me out.

Will I send this dude my Van Exel game tapes? Sure. I'll do anything for someone who was as moved as I was by one of the NBA's all-time underrated (and under-appreciated) players. But something doesn't feel right about it.

I'll keep you posted.

Wednesday's Vickers...

***NCAAB***

Indiana (+4.5)
vs. Northwestern

Marquette Warriors (+2) vs. UConnecticut

Blue Demons (+13) vs. Supernova

Terps (+6) vs. Duke is Duke

Davidson (-25) vs. NC Greensboro

***NBA***

Wiz (+4.5) vs. Sixers

Knickerbockers (+3) vs. Magic

Clips (+9) vs. Celtics

Yesterday: 3-4
Overall: 364-306-18

-Brad Spieser (
Brad@TwinKilling.com)
2/25/09

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Emmitt Smith Once Described Someone As "Long In The Teeth"

"Certainly our most intriguing play of the game, presented by Geico."

How much does it suck that Marv Albert had those exact words to say as the officials were determining whether Devin Harris got the ball off in time?




And while were on the topic of legends of the broadcasting game, it might sadden you to find out that Emmitt Smith's television career is over. Something called Shutdown Corner had a brief write-up about this, as well as a hilarious compilation video highlighting Smith's mastery of the English language:




Tuesday Vickers...

Friars (+8.5) vs. It's Pittsburgh, not Pitt

St. Jonathons (+4.5) at The Cuse

Iowa State (+2.5) vs. Baylor Bears

Thunder (+8) vs. Lakers

Bulls (+2) vs. Magic

Mavs (+5) vs. Spurs

Bobcats (+7) at PHX

Yesterday: 1-1
Overall: 361-302-18

-Brad Spieser (is gonna be late for work)
2/24/09

Monday, February 23, 2009

Evaluating Chris Wells And Other Buckeye Draft Hopefuls


I haven't been watching much of the combine, but I've kept up with it a little bit. As always, I have particular interest in Ohio State players. With the draft fast approaching, I thought it was time for me to break down the noteworthy draft-eligible Bucks. Here goes nothing...

QB Todd Boeckman: I wouldn't touch him in a fifty-round draft. Or, for that matter, a 7 billion-round draft.

DT Nader Abdallah: Ditto. The guy has worlds of ability, but waited four-and-a-half years to apply himself. No thank you.

RB Maurice Wells: You might laugh at his name being on this list, but let's not forget that, as of mid-season, he was considered a late-round possibility because of his supposed versatility. What was rarely mentioned was that he was terrible and wouldn't have started at Akron (or Kent, or wherever). Math: No vision + no balance + zero career broken tackles = undrafted free agent who doesn't make it through mini camp.

OT Alex Boone: Maybe the all-time most overrated Buckeye. Came in with a ton of hype, was handed a starting job early and never once did he make you think, "Well, at least they have Boone protecting the QB's blind side." In fact, if you're anything like me, you probably wondered how a guy with (allegedly) high-end athletic ability was constantly whiffing on speed rushers coming off the edge. I never felt like he gave a crap about football.

CB Donald Washington: Buckeye homers bash the guy for coming out instead of playing his senior year, and while he should have returned to Columbus it doesn't change the fact that he's an immensely talented corner, and one of the true sleepers in this draft. Washington could be out of the league in three years -- the knucklehead factor -- but he could also be a month removed from playing in his second Pro Bowl. Getting this guy in the third round would be a steal.

WR Brian Robiskie: Seems destined to be a No. 4 wide receiver who catches 18 balls a season----all of them going for first downs. I haven't seen his combine results, other than an impressive 37-inch vertical leap, but even if he runs a fast forty I'm not buying it; the guy can't get separation from anyone. Pros: Good guy; likable; smart; dependable. Cons: Slow; not fast; lacks quickness

WR Brian Hartline: This man is turning heads at the combine and I might be the only person (other than maybe his teammates) who isn't surprised. He came out early, which was stupid (although he appeared to have a shaky relationship with Tressel, so maybe that contributed to his departure), but he's always been the more talented (in terms of raw athleticism) of the Brians, and the better bet to make a mark at the next level. Should he be drafted higher than the fifth round? Hell no. Is there a chance he could carve out a Darnay Scott-type career? You betcha.

LB Marcus Freeman: Destined to be a special teamer. But...similar to the Hartline-could-be-better-than-Robiskie-in-the-NFL argument, Freeman has a chance to be a better pro than James Laurinaitis, simply because of his athleticism. Now, I don't think it will happen (mostly because he was never very good), but it could. Just saying.

Now for the big guns...

LB James Laurinaitis: I get tired just looking at his name. Hell, thinking about him puts me to sleep. He was really productive, but I was never blown away by his performance. I can't remember a single time when he altered the course of a game with a monster hit or shocked you with a display of athleticism the way Katzenmoyer, Hawk or Carpenter did. He does a lot of things solidly, but none of them remarkably. That he is slipping to the middle of second round in mock drafts shouldn't come as a surprise. If you're a GM on draft day, yes better be the only answer to the following question regarding your first round pick: "Is he talented enough to play in a Pro Bowl?" With Laurinaitis, it's unequivocally no. Sorry.

CB Malcolm Jenkins: This dude is awesome, although I can't really pinpoint one area where he leaps off the page. The following piece of information might shock you, but I haven't spoken to Jim Tressel in a while (and by "a while," I mean never)...but if I did, I'm sure he would tell me that Jenkins is among the smartest players he's ever coached. He is always -- always -- in the right place. And he's so smooth with everything he does. There is some debate about whether he's a pure corner or more of a ball-hawking safety, and that's understandable: while he was certainly a stand-out corner, he was beat deep more than you'd like from a top-ten pick at that position. However, you put him in the middle of the field -- flanked by a concussion-producing strong safety -- and you're defense gets a lot better overnight.

RB Chris Wells: Aside from Connor Barwin, who's ripping up the combine, Wells might be the most interesting of all draft prspects. From the time the ball is snapped until the whistle blows, I've never been more in love with a running back. The man is perfect. Absolutely perfect. His combination of feet, vision, balance, strength and quickness-through-the-hole is as good as I've ever seen. Hell, I'd go so far to say that he has a tad more natural ability than Adrian Peterson----the only thing separating Peterson is the legitimate sprinter speed. But even if you think that statement is ludicrous, and before we shine a light on the obvious question marks surrounding Wells, I'd like you to focus on three short videos that point to No. 28's unique skill set.

The first comes from his freshman year versus Michigan:



If this were the only run of his career longer than two inches he'd still get drafted; that's how impressive this play was. First, anyone who plays basketball will be able to tell you that a reverse pivot (which is precisely what Wells did immediately after being handed the ball), for a right-hander (which I'm assuming he is), is much harder than spinning the other way. The left foot will always be the dominant foot for both leaping and planting/spinning. That's just the way it is. And to think that Wells, at 235 lbs., could not only avoid the oncoming tackler with a usually-awkward spin and turn his back to the play, but instantly get up to top speed and break through the front seven is nothing short of amazing. He ran a 4.59 forty at the combine, but I'd bet his first ten or fifteen were off the charts.

The second video is a collection of straight-arm clips:



The sheer power of a Wells stiff arm isn't the most impressive aspect of this video, it's his impeccable balance. Remember how Ki-Jana Carter would go down like a ton of bicks if his feet got tangled up a little bit? Well, that never happens with Wells. And he anticipates the contact perfectly and positions his body accordingly, to the point that he's rarely knocked even slightly off balance. I mean, watch the video over...sure, he's a big strong man and everything, but he throws guys out of the way with ease and almost always maintains his stride and speed.

The third video is one of those shaky, shot-from-a-camcorder videos, but don't let that screw you up. It's his 65-yard TD vs. LSU in the '07 championship game:




Unlike most of his long runs, in this one he showed top-end speed in yards 40 through 60. And he did it against a lightning-fast LSU defense. But that's not what causes me to faint every time I watch this video. When you watch the first fifteen yards of the run, Wells looks like Darren Sproles out there. Seriously, go watch it again and tell me if he looks like a 235-lb. bruiser or a 170-lb. scatback. His feet are truly remarkable. The choppy steps through the hole and the subtle cut outside that allowed him to maintain speed are jaw-dropping, especially when you consider his size.

Knowshown Moreno and LeSean McCoy (aka "LeBlack McBlack") are really nice players, but neither approach Chris Wells in terms of natural running ability. And I will push you down the steps if you disagree with me.

Of course, Wells might not hear his name called on draft day before Moreno and McBlack. The reason: Durability concerns. Well, that's what the experts say. To me, it's Will his act fly in the NFL?

I'll explain that in a second. Before that, let's briefly examine the three most publicized injuries from his three-year Buckeye career:

1. Broken wrist, 2007. I ask you, should a broken wrist be in the same category as nagging hamstring and groin problems? I say no. And plus, it's not like he was merely pretty good in '07...he was -- simply my opinion here -- the best RB in the entire country----better than Darren McFadden and Felix Jones, better than Mendenhall, better than all of 'em. Regardless, he was tremendously productive, never really missed significant time and carried an unworthy (in terms of talent) squad to the title game.

2. Non-contact toe injury, 2008. I don't know what to make of this. It reminded me of so many ACL tears, where the guy plants his foot and crashes to Earth. It was bizarre more than anything. But does that mean he's injury prone? Maybe, I guess...how do we know? But once it happened the "injury prone" label officially stuck to him, but I think it's unfair, and kind of a subconscious mistake (I'll explain in a minute).

3. Concussion, Orange Bowl vs. Texas, 2009. To the best of my knowledge, Wells had never suffered a concussion prior to this. But he picked the worst time to get one----especially since it was just a mild concussion and he seemed fine on the sideline. I know I've defended the guy a lot, but how can anyone knock a guy for not playing the rest of the game with a concussion? Chris Wells always played hard. Always.

After the whistle, however, was a whole other story...

Listen, I think the man's durability concerns are legit (as are his pass-catching abilities, which I failed to mention), although I really think he just suffered some fluky injuries that don't prove whether he's injury prone or not. The whole issue with Wells is why does he act like a baby after being tackled? It was often said that Jim Brown played possum and limped back to every huddle; let me assure you, Chris Wells has played possum about as many times as I've had unprotected intercourse with Serena Williams.

I still don't get it. After every one of his carries (minus the TDs and plays he ran out of bounds), Wells would never pop right up: he'd stay on the ground for an extra few seconds, get helped by a teammate and limp back to the huddle or (far too regularly) the sideline. The crazy thing is that he'd run just as hard the next play or jog back to the huddle after taking one play off. I'm sure he was in pain -- after all, football hurts -- but there's no room for that behavior in the NFL. Can you imagine Wells playing for the Ravens next year? Do you have any idea how Ray Lewis would react towards Wells in practice if he stayed on the ground an extra second or constantly limped off the field? It'd be a full-fledged riot. There's no room for soft in the NFL, and while Wells is 100 percent MAN from snap to whistle, he acts like a baby way too much.

Which is what I was saying when I suggested it might be a subconscious mistake to suggest he has durability concerns. Aside from a random toe injury, he always played hard (and at a consistently high level.) Saying "ouch, I need to come out," followed by 19 more carries for 145 yards, isn't the same as being injured all the time. I get that it looks like he's injured all the time, but that's not really the case. Since it seems like he's hurt all the time, we question his durability, but the reality is that most of his issues stem from his toughness between plays (which might be a draft first).

So, where should he be drafted? That's the question, Jimmy. My answer: I really don't know. On talent alone, he's one of the rare running backs who warrant being a top-five selection. But talent's never been the issue with Wells. And at some point, probably starting around the twelfth pick, GMs everywhere are going to start saying things like, "How do we pass this guy up?" and "Can we really justify taking Moreno over Wells?" Draft day will be interesting.

Maybe he's injury prone, and maybe he'll always limp back to the huddle (or sideline), but maybe not----maybe he can change his ways and silence the doubters. Or maybe Wells will be the exact same guy he's always been (i.e., superstar numbers, questionable pain tolerance) and be accepted in the locker room because of his obvious ability. Who the hell knows? But I can't wait to find out.

Either way, I'm rooting for Wells.


***End of Ohio State discussion***


Maybe I'm a little late to the party here, but did you see the video of draft prospect Jarron Gilbert leaping out of the shallow end of a pool onto the ledge surrounding it? This is unbelievable. I hope you're sitting down, boys and girls...


If I were that dude, I wouldn't even bother using pick-up lines on the ladies, I'd simply show them video of me jumping out of pool.

That is all.

Actually, let's bang out the
Vickers...

***NCAA***

Georgetown (+1.5)
vs. The 'Ville

***NBA***

Sacto (+8.5)
vs. Chris Paul plays sports!

Yesterday: 4-2
Overall: 360-301-18

-Brad Spieser (
Brad@TwinKilling.com)
2/23/09

Sunday, February 22, 2009

In Memory Of Mr. Jenkins


Fact: It is 10:00 p.m. EST.

Fact: I ate breakfast at Bob Evans this morning.

Fact: I socialized for several hours at a downtown bar and grill this afternoon.

Fact: I ate a meal at Skyline this evening.

Fact: I've yet to brush my teeth today.

Request: Don't judge me.

In unrelated news, our new podcast, "Craig Celebrated The Death Of His 4th Grade Teacher," is funnier than anything you'll hear on radio today. I guess what I'm trying to say is (a.) give it a listen and (b.) don't be afraid to spread the good word about this very decent website.

That is all.

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
2/22/09

Sunday Vickers

***NCAAB***

Rambling Wreck (+7)
vs. Clemson

Duke is Duke (-7) vs. Skip Prosser is still dead

Sun Devils (-7.5) vs. Zona

***NBA***

Canada Dinosaurs (-3.5)
vs. Knicks

Bucks (+3.5) vs. Nuggets

Timberwolfs (+9.5) vs. Lakers

Yesterday: 5-6
Overall:

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
2/22/09

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Vegas Gives The Bearcats A Chance To Win; Vickers Agrees!

***NCAAB***

Buffs (+12)
vs. Mizzou

Bearcats (+5) vs. Louisville

G'Town (-3.5) vs. Marquette Warriors

Maryland (+12) vs. Tar Heels

UTEP (+9) vs. Memphis State

Texas Tech (+1) vs. Agricultural and Mechanical College of Texas

Texas (-1) How the shit is Oklahoma an underdog?

Gonzorga (-29.5) vs. Remember earlier this decade, when Pepperdine was good?

Davidson (-4.5) vs. Butler Butts

***NBA***

Wiz (+7.5)
vs. Spurs

G-State (-7.5) vs. Kevin Durant

Yesterday: 0-4
Overall: 351-293-18

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
2/21/09

Friday, February 20, 2009

Plenty Of Seats Aboard The Vickers Bandwagon

At some point -- and I know I've said this point before -- Vegas is going to take notice of the Brian Vickers System. For those keeping score at home we posted a 6-1 record yesterday, and we gots more goodness for you'se guys tonight...

***NBA***

Bobcats (+2)
vs. Dwight Howard's shoulders

Canada Dinosaurs (+3) at Knickerbockers

Bucks (+7.5) vs. Cavs

Hawks (+4.5) at Blaze

Yesterday: 6-1
Overall: 351-289-18

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
2/20/09

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Was Your Mom In Love With The Boss?


Craig and I didn't have similar upbringings; this much has been documented 350 times on previous podcasts. But No. 351, which can be heard in "Believing In God And Ghosts," takes the cake. I don't want to spoil anything but it involves drinking and driving and trying to meet Bruce Springsteen. It's impossible not to think it's funny. And, of course, it's completely honest----which distinguishes our podcast from nearly every other radio program on the planet. But anyway, it's good. And I'm homiciding your face off if you don't listen.

Thursday's Vickers...

***NCAAB***

49ers (+6.5)
vs. Muskies

St. Jonathons (+13) vs. Duke is Duke

Gonzorga (-34) vs. Hank Gathers hasn't taken a breath in almost twenty years

Barack Obama's Thanksgiving tablemate (+4) Cardinal of Stanford

Bruins (-8.5) vs. Warshington

***NBA***

Pistons (+1)
vs. Spurs

Salt Lake City Jazz Music (+1.5) vs. Celtics

Yesterday: 6-4
Overall: 345-288-18

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
2/19/08

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Annoying Movie Scene: Summer Catch (With J. Biel In Underpants!)


Once upon a time -- way back in 2001 -- I interned for Ken Broo's mostly unlistenable radio program on 1160 BOB, and even contributed weekly as a movie reviewer. Let me tell you, boys and girls, as bad as it sounds, I assure you it was worse. And trust me, none of this was Broo's fault----I was simply that bad. I tried to give an honest review of garbage movies (instead of goofing on the situation), and when I tried to be funny Broo had no idea what I was going for. All in all, it was dreadful experience, and probably the low light of my on-air career.

But anyway, I once reviewed Summer Catch, the not-completely-terrible baseball movie starring Fredrick Prinze the ninth and my future intercourse slave, Jessica Biel. And when I gave my review that day (presumably in the summer) I didn't mention the most annoying scene in the film, probably because the annoying secene in question follows up some real horny shit.

Scene set: Biel, the rich girl in town, and Prinze, the lawn boy/baseball prodigy/knucklehead, decide to swim in the rain at her giant house in her giant pool. (Important note: Biel enters the pool wearing a tight baby blue T-shirt and her navy blue underpants.). Anyway, right as the French kissing is about to get underway, Biel's rich, disapproving prick of a father interrupts and both Prinze and Biel have to flee the scene. Especially Prinz, who runs around the front of the house, past a driveway full of expensive cars.

Here's where I start to lose my mind...

Prinze sets off a car alarm in a physical act that makes absolutely no sense. I mean, none it all. You'll have to watch for yourself, but it won't be difficult to see. I'm guessing the director wanted Prinze to make it seem like he just bumped into the car (which would've added to the chaos of the moment), but that is the furthest thing from actually transpired. Prinze runs up to the car, presses on the trunk and the alarm doesn't sound. I'm guessing this is about the time when the director (who probably has a name) gave the old "keep it rolling" motion, because Prinze's response was simply to apply even more pressure to the trunk, because, you know, that's precisely what one would do if he were running for his life in his boxers.

Okay, so there you have it. Now it's time to watch the video. I'd say to start viewing at the 2:00 mark, but I know better: Ms. Jessica Biel Spieser is swimming in the two minutes leading up to Prinze's mad dash, plus you hate your life, and, well, did I mention Jessica Biel is in her underwear? Enjoy (and forgive -- or simply ignore -- the Japanese dubbing)...



-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
2/18/09

Wagering On (Mostly) Black Basketball Players And Whatnot!


I have one of the all time unrealistic movie scenes on the way. But I just got my hair did, which came on the heels of a full work day, and now I gots to play basketball at a YMCA in one of Cincinnati's seediest neighborhoods, but before I leave I must wash the hair off my neck----this is of course because a brother gotta feel good to play good.

Anyhow, I will post the newness tonight when I return from my American basketball contest. Until then, enjoy the magical ride presented to you by Lord Brian, who continues to turn the gambling world upside down (highlighted by last night's 5-1 record)...

***NCAAB***

Temple (-26)
vs. Fordham Rams (ham and ram rhyme)

Southern Florida Bulls of Florida (+5.5) vs. Hoya Paranoia

Huggins (-9.5) vs. Luke Harangody is (a.) a selfish player and will (b.) suck in the NBA.

The 'Ville (-14) vs. Providence College (Why does everyone say "BC" for Boston College but never "PC" for Providence?)

Wisc-Mil (+5.5) vs. Butler Butts

Virginia (pick em) vs. Did we ever figure out why Huggs hated Seth Greenberg?

Northwestern (-1.5) vs. Buckeyes

***NBA***

Canada Dinosaurs (+7.5)
vs. LeBron James weighs 275 lbs.

Philly (+1) vs. Nuggs

G-State (+5) vs. Lakers

Yesterday: 5-1
Overall: 339-284-18

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
2/18/09

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

laziest post in days (and maybe weeks)

***NCAAB***

Purdue (-2.5) vs. Izzo

Vandy (+1.5) vs. Kentucky University

***NBA***

Bobcats (+8.5
) at Magic

Knicks (+4) vs. Spurs

Thunder (+3.5) vs. Horny

Hawks (+8.5) at Lakers

Yesterday: 1-0
Overall: 334-283-18

-Brad is my name (my name is Brad)
2/17/09

Monday, February 16, 2009

Was Jeff Reed Justified?


Let's say you're a germ freak (like me), and let's say -- out of desperation -- you're forced to make a toilet at a convenience store. Disgusting, right? Well, not nearly as disgusting as the convenience store bathroom not having any paper towels (or one of those bullshit blowers) to dry your hands. So, now, after relieving yourself and washing your hands, you're forced to open a convenience store bathroom door with your wet hands.

Was Jeff Reed's tantrum triggered by the above scenario? Probably not. But if that's what happened, I gots Jeff Reed's back, yo!

One other thing before moving forward with the almighty Vickers: The Painted Area had a great post today (by way of Sports Illustrated) about the story behind Fernando Martin, the legendary Spanish player honored by Rudy Fernandez in the dunk contest. Please read it; it's short and I guarantee goosebumps.

Monday's pick, with aid from the Brian Vickers System...

Texas A & M Aggies from the state of Texas (+2) vs. Texas Longhorns from the state of Texas

Yesterday: 1-0
Overall: 333-283-18

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
2/16/09

I'll Say It Again...Pitt Isn't Good Enough To Cut Down The Nets


Five things...

1. Pitt easily handled the Bearcats on Saturday----as expected. And just like last year, I'm here to tell you that Pitt, despite a 23-2 record and a top five ranking (including No. 1 in the RPI) has no shot -- NO SHOT -- of cutting down the nets in March. I repeat: Your 2009 NCAA men's basketball champion will not be the Pittsburgh Panthers. The reason? Talent----or lack thereof.

Sam Young is a nice player, but it's not like he can give you an easy thirty.

DeJuan Blair is an animal, and probably not getting the recognition he deserves, but I can't remember the last time a 6'7 post player was the centerpiece of a championship squad.

And even though Levance Fields (aka "eighth-year senior") might be the headiest black point guard of the past nineteen years, he still gets swallowed whole by teams with bigger, more athletic point guards (i.e., dudes generally playing for teams who make deep runs in the tourney). Don't get me wrong, he's an easy guy to root for, but that doesn't mean he's good enough to lead a marginally talented, overachieving bunch to six consecutive wins in March.

Don't ever forget: High-end talent (more than coaching, hustle and luck) remains more important than anything when it comes to March victories...I don't care what Dick Vitale says.

2. Charles Barkley wasn't a part of All Star weekend, and it was difficult to watch. He will, supposedly, return to his post at TNT on Thursday. If that's not appointment television I don't know what is.

3. Am I currently reading an Andre the Giant biography? Yep. Was it the impulse buy of all impulse buys? No doubt. Do I feel like an idiot for spending free time with it? Sometimes. Will I apologize for learning of classic tales involving the likes of Ted Dibiase, Don Muraco, Big John Studd, et al.? Never.

4. Morgan Freeman was in a 1987 film titled Street Smart, and his performance was so outstanding that he was nominated for an Academy Award. This is not interesting to me, as I've never seen the movie and didn't know it existed until three hours ago. What is interesting to me, or at least funny, is that his character in Street Smart was simply known as Fast Black (see for yourself). I hope this doesn't confuse future movie-goers when they're watching Fast Black: The Adrian Peterson Story (narrated by Morgan Freeman).

5. My favorite Rolling Stones song is "I Am Waiting." Enjoy...



-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
2/16/09

We're Huge Fans Of Cute Boys And Talented Blacks


Ten things -- most of them questions -- discussed in our latest podcast, "We're Huge Fans Of Cute Boys And Talented Blacks."

(Note: Once again Craig and I go way past the line of tasteful humor, but that doesn't mean it's not funny. Anyway...)

1. Quick, who was the more attractive Arizona Cardinals QB in 2008----Kurt Warner or Matt Leinart? Our answer may surprise you.

2. Kurt Warner's wife, Brenda, dramatically improved her appearance over the years, but that doesn't mean she's beautiful, either.

3. Did Brenda Warner have cancer, or was it just Patrick Swayze?

4. Was Patrick Swayze good looking when he was good looking? What about John Travolta?

5. Do you think skilled dancers receive fellatio more than anyone else on the planet?

6. If you claim to be a straight male -- and you don't think a 24-year-old Tom Cruise was devilishly handsome -- my only conclusion is that you're a gay guy.

7. Jamie Foxx is overrated (Warning: You may not want to listen to this section at work.)

8. Who's at the top of your list of handsome black athletes? Troy Smith? Dwight Howard? Reggie Bush?

9. Have you ever seen your mom naked? Don't lie.

10. When Craig was ten, his 15-year-old babysitter was playing her role as the town whore (just ask his cousins and uncles). This all happened while she was (supposed to be) watching Craig and his brothers.

That is all. Now have yourself a listen...

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
2/16/09

Sunday, February 15, 2009

sunday is a day in the week

Don't look now, but the Vickers is doing things.

Today's pick...

Miami (+8) vs. Tar Heels

Yesterday: 8-3
Overall: 332-283-18

Saturday, February 14, 2009

knute rockne


Saturday's Vickers...

Seton Hall (+9.5) vs. UConnecticut

Arkansas (+4.5) vs. Kentucky University

Colorado (+11) vs. Texas

Georgia (+10) vs. Gators

Kansas State (+1.5) vs. Kansas

Xavier (-29) vs. Fordham

Iowa (+4.5) vs. Purdue

South Mississippi (+12.5) vs. Memphis

Central Florida (+1.5) vs. Tulsa

San Francisco (+17) vs. Gonzorga

Furman Purple Paladons (+18.5) vs. Dave Davidson

Yesterday: 1-1
Overall: 324-280-18

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
2/14/09

Friday, February 13, 2009

Danica Patrick, Drugs, Baseball, Basketball, Etc.


1. Danica Patrick, despite sporting the meanest of mean faces, possesses a nice butt, and that kind of pisses me off.

2. Think about it: If the Bearcats manage to escape with a victory in the murderer's row that is their next four games (at Pitt, vs. Louisville, vs. Huggins, at the Cuse), they merely have to beat Seton Hall and South Florida to make the Big Dance, and that is more than a little shocking.

3. The smartest piece written about Michael Phelps being photographed sucking on a weed pipe was penned by Dave Hyde of the South Florida Sun-Sentinel. (Note: The white meat can be read on Sons of the Tundra)

4. Milwaukee Bucks PG Ramon Sessions, perhaps a mammal you've heard of, is upsetting me. Just last week he tossed up a 44-point game (on 18 FGAs!), and during the last week of last season, his rookie year, the second-rounder out of Nevada dished out 24 assists in a single contest. So, Brad, why does this upset you? Great question, Jimmy! The reason this upsets me might not make any sense to you, mostly because it doesn't make much sense to me. But here goes: Nick Van Exel's career highs in points and assists are 44 and 23, and I never want to see anyone eclipse those numbers in a game. I am a crazy person.

5. My current Streak For The Cash streak is at six games. Just saying.

6. Paul Daugherty recently had a line about Mick Cronin that reminded me why I'll never approach his level as a writer: "He made playing in the Big East seem like crossing a minefield in a stagecoach." Where does he come up with that stuff?

7. Roy Oswalt is a jackass. Within the same interview, he suggests that A-Rod's numbers should be erased, but he also is giving former teammate Roger Clemens "the benefit of the doubt." Jackass.

8. If I see another mock draft with Kansas State QB Josh Freeman in the middle of the first round I might just blow things up with dynamite. I laughed when the Ravens snagged Kyle Boller and I'll do the same with Freeman. The guy is a bum.

9. The "Don't Listen If You're A Dog Owner Or Parent" podcast is up. Go listen.

10. The Brian Vickers System recently produced a nice little stretch, and now we're sitting at 44 games over .500, with the goal being 100 by the end of the NBA playoffs. Tonight's picks...

Illinois-Chicago (+13) vs. The Butler Butts

Huggins (-4) vs. Champagne Supernova

Yesterday: 4-2
Overall: 323-279-18

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
2/13/09

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Don't Listen If You're A Dog Owner Or Parent

The title of this post is also the title of the newest and bestest podcast. It also suggests that I don't want dog owners and parents to listen; in fact, the opposite is true. But I do think a lot of money is wasted on dogs. And I also think that parents spend way too much time, energy and dollars and greeting cards filled with pictures of their four-year-old children. But that's just me...a single, immature, 28-year-old father of none.

SITE UPDATE: The podcast still hasn't loaded----it usually takes three minutes to load and I'm 45 minutes deep and it's still not finished. I can't any longer, though; several Vickers-related games are tipping off and I need to post this sucker to avoid the dreaded "cheater" label.

Thursday's Vickers...

***NCAAB***

Irish (+3.5) vs. Pitino

Northwestern (+2) vs. Flyin' Illini

St. Mary's (+4.5) vs. Gonzorga

Something Called Wofford (+12.5) vs. Dave Davidson

***NBA***

Mavs (+3.5) vs. Celtics

Warriors (-3.5) vs. Blazers

Yesterday: 8-2
Overall: 319-277-18

-Brad

Joaquin Phoenix Is My Pick In The 2009 Celebrity Death Pool

Good Fucking Christ, have you seen David Letterman's interview with Joaquin Phoenix? I just heard the audio on Howard Stern and immediately rushed to my computer machine to watch it on www.YouTube.com (an Internet website); it didn't disappoint. Unless this is an act -- like Sasha Baron Cohen being interviewed as Borat -- this is the most riveting ten minutes in broadcast history.

But before you watch this train wreck (or boat crash) I'd like to reveal that I'm starting a celebrity death pool today----and I get the first pick----and I'm taking River Phoenix's less-talented, more hair-lipped (and more alive) brother, Joaquin (even ahead of Artie Lange!). Not since Rodney Dangerfield crashed the set of Costas Now (sorry, no video) have I been more sure of a celebrity's imminent death. Enjoy...




By the way, I'm going to sound like a moron saying this, but...David Letterman is hysterical -- only Kenny Mayne could have done more with a whacked-out Joaquin Phoenix. (Note: Forgive me for assuming late-night talk shows lacked comedic properties. Besides, it's hard to justify watching network crap when I pay a fortune to watch things like Warriors-Clippers games on NBA League Pass.) Anyway...

-Brad Spieser (
Brad@TwinKilling.com)
2/12/09

Why Didn't The Reds Bring Back Dunn?


Adam Dunn just signed a two year, $20 million deal with the Washington Nationals. This, I think, redefines reasonable. But it's also somewhat maddening. If two years at ten million a pop is all it takes to lock down 40 HRs, 100 RBI and 100 BBs then why didn't the Reds secure his services (or even consider it)? Look, I wrote a bunch of words back in August basically begging Bob Castellini not to re-sign Dunn, but that was only because I thought it would take a minimum of five years and $60 million to do so. My point was that he would likely be an overpaid disaster for the last two years of his contract, and a small-to-mid-market team like the Redlegs can't take that hit. But his current deal? That's nothing. What's the worst that could happen? I mean, Eric Milton's three-year deal was bad, but at least it was only three years, you know? Ask Giants fans how they feel about having Barry Zito for the next five years...

Maybe the budget didn't have another $10 million available, or maybe they just wanted to move forward without Ol' Dunner, but I find it hard to believe that his stick wouldn't improve a lineup comprised of eight question marks (I'm looking right at you, Brandon Phillips).

End of words.

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
2/12/09

Unrealistic Movie Scene (Scream)


Way back when I was fifteen I saw Scream seven times (in less than three weeks!) at various Cincinnati movie theaters. I didn't necessarily think it was great, but I absolutely loved it, if that makes any sense. I still do, actually----for the same reason you might love Red Dawn or Perfect Strangers or Bananarama or some other form of pop culture that went down when you still had your head up your ass. Feeling nostalgic can be dangerous, but it's really out of our control; that being the case, I'm not going to apologize for loving a semi-terrible movie from 1996. Because, goddamn, it makes me feel nostalgic.

But anyway, I realized two things after about the third viewing of Scream:

1. Rose McGowan has one of the Top 30 butts in the history of mid-90's horror flicks.

2. Maybe the single most ridiculous scene in horror movie history (granted, I've only seen about nine horror movies) takes place in the first half of the movie.

Focus on point No. 2...

Brief explanation of the the ridiculous scene in question, which is preceded by the details leading up to it in run-on sentence form: City-wide panic had spread as the result of multiple (and obviously related) carefully-plotted murders to high school students and -- during the middle of the afternoon -- hours before every shop would close up for precautionary measures, the teenage girl in town, who is clearly the target of the killer(s), and who has constant police surveillance, strolls into a grocery store with her friend -- again, in the middle of a sunny afternoon, while the town is in a frenzy -- only to be stalked (but not attacked) by a psycho dressed head-to-toe in a black gown and Halloween mask (i.e., precisely the same outfit worn by the town killer).

Enjoy (and start the video at the 1:20 mark -- unless you prefer achieving nostalgic bliss like me. In that case, watch the entire friggin' thing):




-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
2/12/09

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Every Game Is A Big Game For The Cats


As I sit here excited to listen to UC's game against St. Johns, I want to remind you that a win is not guaranteed. And the same goes for upcoming matches versus Seton Hall and South Florida (presumed wins for those who have rejoined the bandwagon). I know they should win tonight -- and I'm expecting just that -- but these guys still can't score. At all. Their margin for error is somewhere between minuscule and nonexistent. Don't get me wrong, I'm jacked----the second half at Georgetown (against a desperate -- and more talented -- Hoya team) finally had me buying the "Bubble" talk and checking the remaining schedule, but I'm realistic. The Cats remain short on talent (for Big East standards), and although they're suddenly long on heart, they will need more than a few breaks to hear their name called on Selection Sunday.

Speaking of UC basketball, a current player on the roster, Deonta Vaughn, proved -- with a quote in today's Enquirer -- that it's a maddening experience to cover college and pro athletes for living:

Vaughn said there have been some hard times along the way, especially during that first year when the Bearcats were so overmatched physically. But when asked to name the hardest time, he came up dry.

"I really didn't have no hard times," he said upon further reflection. "I just take it one game at a time and just play. I really don't think a lot about anything being hard times.
What? Does that make any sense? Don't you get the feeling that if Vaughn were asked tomorrow about all the hard times that he'd have no problem rattling off eight or ten specific instances where he considered jumping off a building (and/or transferring)? Athletes are strange, and often times not the brightest people in the room.

Regardless...Go Cats!

Wednesday's
Vickers (By the way, I'm guaranteeing at least a 6-4 record tonight -- there are a few truly bizarre odds out there)...

***NCAAB***

NC State (+6)
vs. Wake Forest

Dayton (+3) vs. Xavier

Tennessee (-16.5) vs. Georgia

Wisconsin (-11) vs. Iowa

Baylor (+3.5) vs. Boomer Sooner

Kansas State (-11.5) vs. Texas Tech

***NBA***

Bobcats (-8) vs. Wizards

Raptors (+6.5) vs. Spus

Jazz (pick 'em) vs. Lakers

Clippers (-5) vs. Knicks

Yesterday: 2-3
Overall: 311-275-18

-Brad Spieser (
Brad@TwinKilling.com)
2/11/09

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Tuesday Night Vickers


New podcast to be posted later. But for now, this honkey gots to be important places

***NCAAB***

Michigan (+4)
vs. Michigan State

South Florida (+1) vs. Providence College

***NBA***

Pacers (+6.5)
vs. Cavs

Nets (+4.5) vs. Spurs

Thunder (+12) at Lakers

Yesterday: 3-2
Overall: 309-272-18

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
2/10/09

Monday, February 9, 2009

Good Times With Racial Stereotypes!


As you can hear, I've posted a new podcast. As you can see, it's titled "Good Times With Racial Stereotypes." As you might be able to guess, this is probably something you shouldn't listen to at work.

A couple of things...

1. If you get offended by this, you obviously don't understand our sense of humor.

2. If you find this to be funny because you think we're being serious, I kind of don't want you listening.

Then again -- the words did come out of our mouths -- and I've chosen to post them on my very decent website. So, feel free to email me if you gots a problem with it.

Regardless, go listen. And don't be afraid to order a coke with no ice!

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
2/9/09

New Podcasts On The Way; My Audience Is Presumably Horny


Craig and I just finished a lengthy podcasting session -- our first in almost six weeks -- and while we had a ton of things to talk about, there's no telling if it'll be worth a shit (there never is). And we did a lot of goofing on racial stereotypes (more than usual) and I'm not sure how it will turn out--I'm hoping for the best, obviously, but we really crossed the line a few times.

Anyway, I have to spend my next three hours listening to myself, with hopes of finding site-worthy material----I should have something posted later. For now, I leave you with Monday's Vickers...

***NCAAB***

Missouri (-4.5)
vs. Kansas

***NBA***

76ers (-3.5)
vs. Suns

Clippers (+1) at Anybody (including tonight's game in Charlotte)

Tennessee Grizzly Bears (-2) vs. Almost Anybody (including tonight's game versus New Orleans)

Bucks (+6) vs. Rockets

Yesterday: 3-2
Overall: 306-270-18

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
2/9/09

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Sometimes (Like Right Now) I Want To Be A Dead Person


Witty. Or clever. I'm trying to come up with something witty (or clever) to write, but I gots nothing----sleep deprivation and an ear infection will do that to a person. So will lack of talent, but let's pretend I still have a clue as to what I'm doing here. Anyway, I'm only typing at this moment because I feel obligated to update the ongoing mediocrity of the Brian Vickers System, which is kind of stupid when you think about it. That would be like boasting about a 2.2 GPA or driving 58 MPH on your way to work. Who cares, you know? I mean, I don't want to hear your stories about French kissing overweight, 36-year-old divorced mothers of two...so how is this any different? Essentially what I'm trying to say is...I don't blame you for not caring that I pick Tulane or Tulsa or the Charlotte Hornets to cover an eight-and-a-half point spread. Because I barely care at this point, and neither should you. How's that for optimism?

(Note: Disregard the previous 147 words if Lord Brian gets hot again in the weeks leading up to March Madness)

Anyway, Sunday's picks...

***NCAAB***

LSU (-12.5)
vs. Alabama)

Stanford (+1) vs. Washington

***NBA***

Thunder (-7)
vs. Kings

Suns (-1) at Pistons

Warriors (-1) vs. Jazz

Yesterday: 6-6
Overall: 303-268-18

Now, if you wouldn't mind leaving me a moment of Brad time, I'm going to spend the next four hours sleeping, which will be immediately followed by a free meal at Skyline (a local chili parlor).

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
2/8/09