Tuesday, July 17, 2007


In honor of Brad's first TWIN KILLING DOT COM podcast, I'd like to share a little story with you...

A couple of weeks ago, Brad and I set out to do what was to be TWIN KILLING DOT COM's inaugural podcast. The NBA Draft was the same week that Brad started the site, and since we both religiously follow the NBA it seemed like a natural fit to do a Draft review. Normally, we would call each other 432 times during the draft to critique picks and crack jokes about how terrible of a G.M. you are if you draft a white center, but we wanted true reactions to our comments and jokes so we avoided all draft conversation until we got behind the mics and pressed record.

As anyone who has ever watched the NBA draft knows, The choice in attire by the draftees is every bit as interesting as the picks themselves. Of course, right off the bat Brad sets me up by asking about the suit choices and how they stacked up against previous draftees. Of course, I walk right into his trap and tell him that no one looked as bad as Karl Malone, (It's universally accepted that at the 1985 NBA Draft, Malone (see above) committed the biggest fashion faux pas in Draft history) but he cuts me off before I even get Malone's last name out of my mouth. He procedes to tell me that while watching old clips of the '85 draft earlier in the week, he was ASTOUNDED by the size of Karl Malone's junk. He claimed that his pants could hardly contain it, and that he had never seen a schlong so big in his entire life. Predictably, I begin laughing uncontrollably, we couldn't stop dicking around and the train came off the tracks. Fortunately, we screwed something up (shocker) and the podcast wasn't recorded. Hopefully now that he has ironed out the podcasting kinks, Brad can focus on coming up with sweet podcasts and stop fantasizing about Karl Malone's wiener or frenching Nick Van Exel and Carson Palmer. I think that would be best for everyone.

A few other things:

How insane is Michael Vick? Committing felonies (allegedly) that involve a "rape stand" used to hold dogs in place for mating, and modified treadmills for dogs just makes you seem like a creepy weirdo. Why can't he be like other athletes and commit respectbale crimes such as DUI, unlawful possession of a firearm, sexual assault or drug possession?

Speaking of insane athletes, apparrently the ass-whooping Rocky Balboa put on him in Rocky V left Tommy Morrison more brain damaged than any of us had previously thought.

Anyone who paid $20 to watch the final table at the World Series of Poker should stop what they are doing and immediately jump off the the first bridge or tall building they come across. I have LOVED poker my entire life, but if I never see another internet poker nerd on TV or hear a bad beat story as long as I live I will die a happy man.

It turns out everyone who claimed Dave Chappelle was either a crackhead or out of his mind when he abruptly walked away from Chapelle Show and $50 million was probably right.

Keep the emails coming regarding the NFL Futures bets. There have been some quality ones so far, most notably from John B. who penned a Haiku which included the line "Rex Grossman licks taint." That is what I'm talking about people!!!