Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Mantle and Maris? Nope. Plant and Page? No chance. Martin and Lewis? Forget it. Maverick and Iceman? Pause.

Your eyes are not deceiving you, and no that picture is not photoshopped. Mark-Paul Gosselaar and Luke Perry, the two greatest actors and coolest white dudes of their generation, finally shared the screen during Sunday's episode of HBO's JOHN FROM CINCINNATI (a show that rules ass but is completely unexplainable). By creating the modern day DREAM TEAM, HBO secured me as a viewer for life and (presumably) forced TV's unable to handle the overload of awesome to explode. Not only are these the two most talented men to do a scene together since De Niro and Pacino in HEAT, but I personally love Gosselaar and Perry. Not in the way Brad Spieser loves Nick Van Exel or Carson Palmer (meaning I don't want to play tonsil hockey with them), but I will always appreciate them for being the two people who taught me how to get laid.

A man far wiser than I am (Socrates I believe) once said, "Look at what the successful guys are doing, and copy them until you develop your own style." At the time I discovered the fairer sex and was searching for a style of my own, SAVED BY THE BELL was on TV 70 times a day and BEVERLY HILLS 90210 was at the height of its popularity. The two most successful ladykillers on TV during my formative years were Zack Morris played by Gosselaar, and Dylan McKay played by Perry.

Like me, neither were jocks, (Zack was suppossed on the basketball team but his knee operation kept us from ever seeing him in action) and since I saw them reeling in whatever women they had chosen, I believed that by acting like them I could do the same. Depending on what the situation warranted, I would either be cracking wise and acting too cool for school like Zack, or acting aloof with a bit of a chip on my shoulder like Dylan. Looking back it seems utterly ridiculous, but at the time it was relatively successful and helped me come up with a blueprint for my own style. If it wasn't for them, I may have been forced to bite the style of Doogie Howser M.D. Knowing what we know now about Neil Patrick Harris, things in my life may have turned out differently.


Apparrently Matt Leinart's baby momma is bitter because he's isn't a very good father. I guess you can't really blame him though. After all, he's been too busy running through young hollywood to have time to parent. (He's been linked to Paris Hilton, Kristin Cavallari and Alyssa Milano.)

For those of you that listen to hip-hop, Pimp C of UGK called out pretty much everyone in the rap game. He even made reference to knowing about Russell Simmons and Ma$e being gay. For those of you who don't know who Pimp C is, he guest appeared on Jay-Z's Big Pimpin'. ("It's just that Jigga-man, Pimp-C and B.U.N.B.")

It's time to come up with a sweet Fantasy Football name. My league has banned profanity in our names, partly because in my first season in the league I named my team the Butt F#*&king A$$ Clowns. Apparrently that isn't work appropriate.

Cam Carey lacks explosiveness (7/26/07)