Monday, March 10, 2008

Hi, Hello and Welcome--Part 1

It's already started. By "it," I mean George Grande has already started talking, which means I'll want to kill myself sometime before May.

After a mere four outs had been recorded in Monday's Reds-Yankees game, here is what Grande had to say about Reds ninth string shortstop Paul Janish:

"What a great competitor. Just a ballplayer. Not spectacular in any one part of the game, but spectacular in the fact that he just plays the game so hard."


What in the hell does that even mean? Spectacular in the fact that he just plays the game so hard? Really? If I tried to write that bullshit I would get ridiculed for the rest of my life. I hate George Grande. I love George Grande. He will give me more material than I know what to do with over the next seven months. I'm officially looking forward to being aggravated by George Grande.

By the way, as annoying as Grande is, whatever he had to say about Edinson Volquez was justified, even though I can't remember a word of it; I'm pretty sure I blacked out after his seventh strikeout.

But seriously, eight strikeouts in four Spring Training innings! Good Christ! Should we just give Volquez the Cy Young right now? God damn that was impressive. His change-up to Alex Rodriguez was some Bugs Bunny shit. I watch a fair amount of baseball and--Spring Training or not--you just don't make that guy look that foolish.

Josh who?

I'm easy.

One other thing...starting today, I'm posting a five part series of podcasts titled "craig meets athletes." Craig hasn't encountered many athletes, but when he has, he's gotten his money's worth. Without giving too much away, I'll just tell you this: He taunted a heavyweight champion, harassed one of his four heroes, asked a star QB why he was gay, challenged a Pro Bowl WR to an arm-wrestling match and complemented a prominent baseball executive for having an excellent sun tan.

Normal people do not act like this.

Go listen to "craig meets evander holyfield." Jerks.

-Brad Spieser (