Millennial Locks of the Millennium

You might be wondering why I'm writing on a Saturday morning, since, you know, it's Saturday goddamn morning. My only explanation for this madness is that I didn't swallow a drip of booze last night. Regardless, I gots me some football pickin' to do. My record now stands at a respectable 15-13 and I couldn't be any more focused than I am right now. Watch out, people. This week I'm giving out one NFL lock, as usual, and five bowl game winners.

And here they is...

NFL: San Diego (-9) at Oakland. Jammy Russell might be a good player one day, just not Sunday.

(Note: I really think the Bengals will pummel Miami--something like 42-10--but I'm pulling so hard for the Dolphins that I can't bring myself to make it a lock.)


Top 5 Bowl Locks:

1. Florida (-10.5) vs. Michigan

Reason: Prepare for the obvious. 3...2...1...LLoyd Carr is an uninspiring goof who won't be able to fire up his team for his last game. And even if he could, the Wolverines couldn't stop Tim Tebow, who appears to be a blend of Hercules, Batman and a young Daunte Culpepper. Florida rolls, 38-13.

2. Ohio State (+4) vs. LSU

Reason: You'll have to stay tuned for my BCS Championship Game preview. This news should make you horny.

3. Wake Forest (-2) vs. UCONN

Reason: Wake is a solid team and UCONN, um...isn't. Really, that's about as deep as my analysis goes. I truly believe UCONN wouldn't have won a game in the SEC this year. Wake 41, UCONN 20.

4. Mississippi State (+3) vs. Central Florida

Reason: Mississippi State plays their ass off for Sylvester Croom, even when they're overmatched, which isn't the case against Central Florida. Plus, I like the idea of an SEC team gameplanning for a guy (CFU's Kevin Smith) who is on the verge of breaking the NCAA's single season rushing record. Miss. St. wins as an outright dog, 23-6. Also, Smith goes for less than 100.

5. Virginia Tech (-3.5) vs. Kansas

Reason: This is the 2001 Florida/Maryland Orange Bowl all over again. I remember watching the first five minutes of that game and thinking, Maryland doesn't have a prayer. This was for two reasons...(1.) Florida's talent was obviously superior to Maryland's, and (2.) Maryland--a basketball power--looked happy just to be in the Orange Bowl; they simply weren't ready for the big stage. Florida murdered Maryland that day (I believe the score was 52-24), and I don't see any way Virginia Tech won't do the same to Kansas when they go at it next week. Final score: What the hell, 52-24.

Funny parallel: Ralph Friedgen (Maryland's losing head coach in the Orange Bowl) and Mark Mangino (the expected loser for Kansas) are both the fattest people in the history of people.

Side note about Maryland/Florida game: Who would have thought that of the three QBs prominently featured in that blowout--Rex Grossman, Brock Berlin and Shaun Hill--that Hill might end up being the best pro of the bunch? I certainly didn't.

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
12/29/07