Sunday, June 1, 2008

No Joke: Jennifer Love Hewitt Is My Friend!

It's official...I'm a published author!

Like most other low rent bloggers, I Google my name every now and again. I guess I do this with the hope that I've been discussed on message boards at one time or another. And I know it's the height of narcissism, but whatever, at least I'm honest. To the best of my knowledge I've only been the subject of one thread outside of Cincinnati, and, oddly enough, it was on an Atlanta Falcons message board. The details of that discussion aren't important, for they took place over 18 months ago.

What is important, however, is today's revelation: Jennifer Love Hewitt knows who I am.

And I've called her the C word. Kind of.

Let's revisit history...

Remember when unflattering pictures were taken of JLH (and her giant butt) on some beach with some dude? Of course you do. (In case you were wondering, this happened in November, 2007.)

We soon found out Ms. Hewitt was outraged by this, and she took her anger to MySpace. Here was the last line on her blog: "To all girls with butts, boobs, hips and a waist, put on a bikini - put it on and stay strong."

Talk about outrage! I was so disgusted with her encouraging words directed towards the up-and-coming beasts that I had to give her a piece of my mind. So I added her as a MySpace friend, with hopes of subtly calling her the C word in the comments section of her blog.

After she accepted my request for online friendship, I immediately went to her blog post and commented. But I had to await her approval - Jennifer Love Hewitt won't let a potentially filthy comment pollute her wholesomeness.

A few days passed and I checked her page to see if I'd made the cut. No dice. Either she knew I was up to no good or she hadn't been on MySpace since I left my comment.

Shockingly, I forgot to check her page again. Which is where the "Googling myself" thing comes into play.

I just Googled myself and one of the results led me towards Jennifer Love Hewitt's MySpace page. "Jackpot!" I shouted. I went ahead and clicked the link, and sure enough, I accomplished my goal: I called Jennifer Love Hewitt a C word (Scroll down, my comment is fifth from the bottom)!

For the confused...explanation of See You Next Tuesday.

Also, I don't have a daughter. Or any children for that matter.

-Brad Spieser (