Friday, September 11, 2009

Ohio State-USC Preview


Approximately every person I've ever met is going to Columbus for this sucker, and since I love Ohio State football, everyone just assumes I want to go with them.

This is not the case.

Most of my friends seem to forget that I hate generally everyone-----and that hatred is quintupled when Ohio State is struggling against their opponent.

And on the rare occasion they lose, well, I'm the least likable human being in the entire goddamn state of Ohio. I morph into a humorless irrational lunatic, and I have no use for casual conversation with anybody. AT ALL. You could be holding a winning lottery ticket in your hand, with intentions of forking that bastard over to me, and yet -- if it were immediately following a Buckeye loss -- I would make a rude remark and storm off before you could deliver the good news.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I think Ohio State will lose to the Trojans, and I really don't want to be drunk and homicidal, not to mention two hours from home, hanging around a bunch of shitheads who pretend to care about the Scarlet and Grey.

Do the Bucks have a puncher's chance? Of course. The game's (a.) in Columbus, (b.) at night, and the visiting team is starting a QB who just last year threw (c.) 18 INTs...(d.) in high school.

Matt Barkley might be the second coming of Sammy Baugh, but he's still just a freshman. Ohio State faced Colt McCoy as a freshman and he was good-----but nowhere near the player he is today.

Again, I think USC will walk away with a victory, but if they return to Los Angeles with a 1-1 record, I can almost guarantee you Matt Barkley turned the ball over at least twice.

Speaking of turning the ball over, Terrelle Pryor can't do it Saturday night. Not even once. But he probably will. Mostly because I don't think he's ready yet, but also because the O-Line is a disaster. Pryor will face constant pressure from the USC front, he'll occasionally react too late, and he'll try to do too much. Oh, he'll make big plays, but he could cripple OSU's chances if he's always swinging for the fences.

If Ohio State emerges victorious -- newsflash -- Terrelle Pryor was the reason. But they'll need other mammals to step up, as well. I could name countless gentlemen on defense, but I'm going to stick with a few youngsters on O: Jaamal Berry and Duron Carter.

Although Berry didn't play (or didn't play much) against Navy, he still offers the wiggle and overall talent that Brandon Saine doesn't, and the speed that Daniel Herron wishes he had. Berry might not play, but he's capable of shifting momentum with one nifty move.

As for the true freshman Carter, I'm going to rattle the establishment with this doozy: He's the best receiver on the team. Right now. When God designed WRs, he basically made Duron Carter-----and you can just tell -- based solely on body language -- that Carter isn't the slightest bit afraid of the competition. He belongs on the field. And he's going to embarrass his opponent, sooner rather than later. I just hope it's Saturday night in the Shoe.

But anyway, it's likely Berry and Carter won't contribute to a win for the good guys. Just don't be shocked if they do. Anyway...

I'll still love football when I go to sleep Saturday night, I'm just pretty sure I'll hate myself.

Trojans 26, Buckeyes 20.

-Brad Spieser (