(No picture today. I'm at work. And my boss told me no pictures at work.)
Opening week of the college football season resulted in the treading of water for the almighty Vickers System. We won a big one, and lost a big one. Ditto for our two small games. In the end we lost twenty bucks.
And I didn't hang myself in the basement.
Which brings me to this week. We're placing our hard-earned American cash on eleven football contests -- six college, five pro -- and things better get better, because my mother hates funerals.
UConnecticut (+5) vs. Tar Heels
Wyoming Bramlet Brothers (+32) vs. Texas
Words: Texas travels to Wyoming all of the sudden?
Marshall (+20) at Virginia Tech
Words: Yeah, like Frank Beamer and his paralyzed face aren't going to motivate his troops to literally beat the hell out of Marshall. (and by the way, don't tell me Mark Snyder is still employed by Marshall. Because, if that's the case, we literally have no chance of winning this bet.)
Miami Redskins (+37.5) at Boise Murdering Murderers
Words: Terry Hoeppner could do a better job coaching than the clowns guiding the ship in Oxford.
...on second thought, we're pulling this sucker; I just can't bet on Miami on the Smurf Turf. Taking things a step further, Craig and I are betting a ton on Boise State. I can't see this final being anything less than Boise 59, Miami 0.
Tulane (+18.5) vs. No. 9 BYU
Okay, cool. Both were on national television least weekend. Tulane was embarrassed by Tulsa., while the Mormons went toe to toe with Sam Bradford and his improving complexion (and won!). And somehow this spread is fewer than three touchdowns. Sweet.
Arkansas State Fighting Joe Hollises (+22) at Nebraska
Browns (+4) vs. Brett Favre is playing football in Minnesota this season. For the Vikings. Seriously!
Lions (+13) at Who Dat!
Words: Matt Stafford will be a good QB -- oh yes, he will be -- but he's far from a finished product. What happened last year with Matt Ryan might not happen for another twenty or thirty years. Of course, Lord Brian thinks it's a great idea to back him and the lousy Lions on the road.
Bucs (+6) vs. Cowboys
Words: Byron Leftwich throws a gentle ball.
Bills (+11) at Boston Patriots
Raiders (+9.5) vs. Super Chargers
Words: Tom Cable is handsome. Just saying.
Last week: -$20
For the season: -$20 (it was our first week, asshole!)
Overall record: 2-2 (which is somewhere around 50 percent)
-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)