Ken Griffey Jr...Blah Blah Blah

Keith Law is my second favorite baseball blogger at ESPN.com, behind Rob Neyer. I only tell you this because I think it kind of makes me seem intelligent. Anyway, Law gave his take on the Griffey trade and commented on the players the Reds received in return:

The trade of Ken Griffey Jr. is almost a straight salary dump for the Reds, and it gives the White Sox an offensive boost while hurting their outfield defense.

Griffey's power has been gradually declining for several years now. He's more of a mistake hitter than a true middle-of-the-order bat, and he manages to raise his value through patience and willingness to take a walk. In the outfield, where he's played right field for the past two seasons, he's limited at the best of times. DH might be the best position for him, but in Chicago, that position is filled by Jim Thome.

The best lineup move for Chicago now would be to bench first baseman Paul Konerko, who has a .661 OPS. But no matter how the White Sox realign their defense, they'll field a bad defensive outfield unit and, with Griffey in the outfield, more balls to the gaps will become hits. The offensive difference between Griffey and Konerko for the rest of the season is probably just one win, but the addition of Griffey removes a futile bat from the White Sox's potential postseason lineup, so he may provide more of a payoff in October than September.

The Reds will receive two fringe players in return. Right-hander Nick Masset has a good arm, as he touches 93 mph with his fastball and uses a high-80s cutter (like all White Sox pitchers), but he has a below-average slider and poor command. His saving grace is his ability to generate ground balls, and he might have better luck as strictly a sinker-cutter guy in short stints. Danny Richar projects as a good utility infielder who can fill in at all three skill positions and put the ball in play. But though he's improved his strength the past two years, he still doesn't hit for enough power to be an everyday second baseman.

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
7/31/08

Griffey Traded...World Ending?

Eight missed calls and three text messages. That's what I had waiting for me upon my 10:30 wake-up. The reason? Griffey. Of course.

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that I'm really popular - that isn't the case. One call came from KJR radio in Seattle (they wanted to interview me about the Griffey trade; they still think I'm in radio), and the other missed calls/text messages were mostly from Craig.

In case you forgot, Craig still believes Griffey is a superstar - or at least still good. He uses words like "not terrible" and throws out numbers like 107 OPS+, as if I should be impressed. Anyway, it's been a bad day for Craig, as the biggest story in his lifetime is also a tragic one.

Actual text message sent from Craig at 9:15 a.m. EST: "Wake up! Did you sleep through 9/11?"

Now that's perspective.

(In case you were wondering, yes, I posted a picture of a young, athletic Griffey as a reminder of the player he hasn't been in ages.)

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
7/31/08

What To Do With Adam Dunn...

Adam Dunn is the name of a professional baseball player. This is about him.

Thursday's trade deadline will come and go, and Adam Dunn will still be a Cincinnati Red. And I'm fine with that. But that doesn't mean I want him back next year, either. Explain.

Dunn will be 29-years-old at the start of the 2009 season, and there's a decent shot we're seeing the absolute best of him in the summer of 2008. Think about that. In order to keep Dunn in Cincinnati I'm guessing it will take something like five or six years in the $60-80 million range - that's $12 million-plus per season for a small-to-mid market team. Thanks, but no thanks.

Don't get me wrong, Adam Dunn is a really good player (so good that I almost italicized the words really and good). He's also consistently undervalued by fans of his own team (they always point out his flaws and fail to bring up his many strengths). He's never hurt and he's the model of consistency (I have nothing to add within these parentheses).

For the reasons stated in the paragraph above, I would not be crushed if the Reds re-signed Dunn. I am not guaranteeing it to be the height of stupidity to pay him through age 34. But it might be. Which is why I would pass.

Chances are, if the Reds handed Dunn a six year, $80 million contract, he would post the following numbers over the next two seasons: .385 OBP, 40 HR, 105 RBI, 100 BB (i.e., really good numbers). But what if his numbers started slipping soon after? What if, by the end of year four, his numbers drop to a solid, but not spectacular .355 OBP, 32 HR, 80 RBI? He'd be 33-years-old, past his prime (but still good), with two years and roughly $27 million remaining on his contract.

Two years remaining...that's what worries me.

How many years has this franchise been waiting to be relieved of Griffey's contract? It seems like forever, right? He's average at the plate and terrible in the field...but he makes a ton of money - so the Reds have no choice but to play him every night.

Two things:

1. If the Reds re-sign Dunn (a big if), it could turn out to be a great move (although history says it probably won't be). He could easily post the same numbers over the next five or six years as he has the previous eight. In that case, $13 million a year will be a bargain. But...

2. What if he gains more weight? What if nagging injuries begin to accumulate? What if he suffers a serious injury? What if he gets lazy? What if his skills begin to deteriorate? I wouldn't bank on any of these happening, but they could. Especially with a giant mammal like Dunn, who doesn't seem to be a young Jack LaLanne in the offseason (pure speculation). But anyway, there are too many things that could go wrong with giving a 29-year-old a multi-year contract.

Consider the following cases:

Mo Vaughn: Signed a monster free agent deal as a 30-year-old. Played okay for a few years before becoming a huge waste of space/money. His last year in baseball was 2003; he hit 3 HRs and earned $17 million. He "earned" another $17 million the following year, while doing nothing more than sitting on his couch and eating barbeque Fritos (presumably).

Ken Griffey, Jr: Longterm deal at the age of 30. In the words of George Grande, we all know his story. Griffey's contract...plus injuries...plus deteriorating skills have crippled the organization.

Todd Helton: I'm not sure when he signed his big deal, but it was/is big. He's 34 now, and made over $35 million in '06 and '07, when he was good, but nowhere near the dominant force he once was. This year, he's merely been average (102 OPS+) and I have to believe at least one more year is left on his devastating contract.

Shawn Green: Green made $100 million in his career, with nearly 60 percent of that over his last five years. It probably wouldn't be shocking, then, if I told you from '03-'07 that Green (a.) never made an All Star team or won a Gold Glove, (b.) didn't once drive in 90 runs, and (c.) generally hovered around an .800 OPS. That's a five-year stretch undeserving of $60 million.

Richie Sexson: Here's another guy who inked his name on a massive deal at age 30. After posting good numbers in year one and above average numbers in year two, he's been a train wreck. Sexson made over $28 million in '06 and '07, and was making God Only Knows this year before the Mariners released him.

Garret Anderson: Anderson is a far cry from the player who finished 4th in MVP voting in 2002. Only once in the last five years has Anderson had an OPS over .800, and yet he's made $50 million over that stretch with more years remaining on the contract. His OBP is a paltry .309 this season, and it will only get worse.

Andruw Jones: Appears to be washed up - one of the worst players in baseball in '08. The Dodgers are paying him $18 million this year, and another $18 million in '09.

Mike Sweeney: This guy was a really good hitter around the turn of the century. And then he turned 29...and then the Royals gave him a five-year, $55 million deal...and then he began to break down. He was a pretty good hitter for the first three years of the contract, but he missed a ton of games. The final two? He was below average and Kansas City was stuck with him.

Darin Erstad: His career started with a solid rookie campaign. He posted two good seasons and a great season over the next four years. To that point in his career Erstad had made less than $4 million. He's made over $40 million since despite being a lousy player at the plate.

Jason Kendall: He collected nearly $35 million from '05-'07, and in over 1,600 at-bats, he hit 4 HRs! (Although I'm sure George Grande believes Kendall was a leader not only on the field, but in the clubhouse.)

Did I make my point? Do I need to continue? Because I could. I could just as easily reference players like Jose Vidro, Damion Easley, Edgardo Alfonzo, Bobby Higginson, etc., but I'm not sure it'd be worth my time. And I have a few readers in Cleveland, so I won't go into the details of Travis Hafner's four-year, $57 million contract abortion through 2012...

Listen, I'm sure some of the examples stated don't apply to Adam Dunn, but my point is this: Things happen. Players break down and/or they simply aren't as good as they used to be. Whatever the case, it happens a lot. The Yanks and Sox can swing and miss on a disastrous contract - the Reds cannot.

Again: There's a strong possibility that Adam Dunn's most profitable years will be his worst.

Dear Mr. Castellini,

Please don't throw a bunch of cash at the guy who wears Eric Davis' old number.

Dear Mr. Jocketty,

Don't tell him it's a good idea.

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
7/30/08

Hi, Hello and...Marty?

I've been accused of being a blasphemous blasphemer at times, but to the best of my knowledge I've never said a bad word about Nick Van Exel or Marty Brennaman.

Until tonight.

As I was driving in my air conditioning-less Dodge Intrepid this evening, I was listening to Brennaman call the bottom half of the first inning from tonight's Reds-Astros contest. Johnny Cueto was struggling. The first three hitters had reached base and the Hall of Famer, as he is wont to do, voiced his frustration (I'm paraphrasing):

"22 starts into your major league career you should be able to expect some measure of consistency, but that just isn't the case with Johnny Cueto."

To that I say...REALLY? After 22 starts?

Marty, you're just plain wrong. It takes guys years to find consistency. Does the name Edinson Volquez ring a bell? If he hadn't been the walking definition of inconsistency as a youngster he'd still be a Texas Ranger (and the Reds would still have Josh Hamilton. Wait, bad example-bad example...).

Consider the case of Roy Halladay, quite possibly the best pitcher in the A.L. - because he started his career with out-of-this-world hype, lived up to it for a moment and came crashing down to Earth before figuring it out.

Halladay, like Cueto, was a highly regarded pitching prospect who tore through the minors. Whereas Cueto threw a gem in his first start (7IP, 1H, 0BB, 1ER), Halladay waited until his second (CG, 1H, 0BB, 1ER - aka almost a goddamn perfect game). Halladay pitched in 36 games the next season (1999), starting 18 of them. He went 8-7 with a somewhat deceiving 3.93 ERA (I say "deceiving" because his WHIP was 1.574). By all accounts, at 22 years of age--20 starts into his big league career--Halladay appeared destined for stardom.

Not so fast, my friend.

The man they cleverly call "Doc" posted a disastrous 10.63 ERA in 19 games (13 starts) in 2000, and despite his early success, his future was a giant fat question mark. So much so that Toronto started Halladay off in 2001 at Single-A Dunedin (imagine if the Reds did that not in 2009, but in 2010 with Cueto...we'd flip out). It didn't take Halladay long to figure it out, as he wound up pitching 105 impressive innings (3.16 ERA) with the big boys that summer. Since that point he's been a legitimate ace, but it took him a while to get there. And I'm sure Blue Jays fans were pulling their hair out along the way.

Taking your lumps can be a good thing.

Got it, Marty? Relax.

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
7/29/08

Video: Massive Dead Snake

I really enjoy watching animals...fighting, eating, whatever. I like watching cheetahs chase after gazelles, and I love watching giraffes be awesome (which is always). I've never been much of a snake lover, but this video changes things a bit. If you watch this video closely, you can actually see his most recent meal - and just how big it is. This snake went out right. I'm jealous.

(I would suggest viewing this twenty second video in full screen mode. Trust me.)

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
7/28/08

Craig Gets Thrown Out Of YMCA Basketball League

Brevity is the soul of wit. Which is why I cut down our much anticipated podcast, craig gets thrown out of ymca basketball league, to somewhere between two and thirty-four minutes. I assure you, every detail of Craig's tirade in the faces of two referees and a frightened (and very christian) league organizer is needed to tell the full story. Enjoy.

Keep the change, you filthy animals.

-Brad Spieser (Bad@TwinKilling.com)
7/28/08

I'm Worth 28 Tanks Of Unleaded Fuel (Which Makes Mom Proud)

Friday afternoon, as I'm mentally preparing myself for a night of drunkenness, this arrived in my inbox (from reader K.G.):

"Does it excite you that on websiteoutlook.com your websites listed value is $1,460.60?"

My response: "Of course! This is more thrilling than the first 75 times I rode the Vortex (and/or had sexual intercourse)! Thanks for relaying this wonderful news!"

I think I was so excited because of the exactness of it - you know, because $1,460 (or a rounded-up $1,500) wouldn't have been accurate enough.

Now, you might be wondering--as I was Friday afternoon--just what is websiteoutlook.com? I don't know much beyond the basics, but it allows you to simply check the worth of all websites. (Not unlike checking out the availability of domain names on Go Daddy, it's oddly addictive. Especially when you have a horse in the fight. That is, especially when you're a hyper-competitive maniac with a horse in the fight.) All you have to do is type the name of a website in the box and press Enter. Depending on connection speed, you should have your answer in less than 0.000000000009iy34iu4kklkmlu40932iu40932984239492394 seconds - which I'm told is pretty good.

So how did I decide to size up www.TwinKilling.com versus the competition? By checking out websites I'd never even visited, of course.

(Note: My miniature test netted predictable--yet funny--results. And it might tell us more about the rest of the world than it does about this very decent website.)

First website checked: penis.com. Estimated worth? $8,745.40.

Next (drum roll...): vagina.com. Estimated worth? $36,843.10. Big shock, eh?

Last (for no valid reason): TedDibiase.com. Estimated worth? $1,175.30. Hooray for me!

Conclusion: (1.) Guys are horny scumbags, (2.) I'm more valuable than my favorite wrestler of all time - $285.30 more valuable, to be exact, and (3.) websiteoutlook is more than a little awesome.

(New podcasts shall be posted soon.)

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
7/27/08

Hi, Hello And Welcome: Part Nineteen (Chris Welsh Edition)

Here's a portion of a 1st inning conversation between Thom Brennaman and Chris Welsh (speaking of Edinson Volquez):

Brennaman: "...with the league only batting .220 against him"

Welsh: "And he doesn't walk many."

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa? Doesn't walk many? Does Welsh even watch these games? Does he have a computer? Because the Internet is reporting Volquez has walked a lot of batters this year: Heading into Friday's game Volquez is sixth in the NL in walks, and tenth in all of baseball.

My take: George Grande must have finally worn off on Welsh, because he was merely awful in year's past - now he's worse than that. Somehow.

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
7/25/08

Words About Johnny Cueto And Daryl Thompson

In Tuesday's win over the Padres of San Diego, Johnny Cueto threw 120 pitches - an alarmingly high number when you consider his age, body size and innings logged thus far. Remember, the dude pitched thirty or so innings in winter ball, and probably shouldn't be over-extended.

Dear Reds' brass,

Take it easy on the guy - and think longterm, dammit; this season doesn't matter. If Cueto can solve his Tomko-esque head problems, we have a legitimate ace on our hands. Regardless, he should be nowhere near 200 innings by the end of the year or 120 pitches in another game - I don't care how taxed the bullpen is.

Speaking of taking it easy on young pitchers...

The development of Daryl Thompson has led to (a.) me being happy, and (b.) Wayne Krivsky being able to sleep at night. With a little polish, Thompson has the makings of a really good No. 3 starter. The only question mark with Thompson--aside from him developing a sharper breaking ball--is his durability; the guy has a history of shoulder injuries.

In fact, Thompson recently strained his shoulder. Again. Which is concerning, but probably not the end of the world. That is, until I read in the Enquirer what Terry Reynolds, the Reds' director of player development, had to say about Thompson's injury: "We don't think it's too serious. We think with rest and rehab he'll be able to pitch again this year."

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? WHY? Who cares if he's able to pitch again this year? Shut the man down and get him ready for next year. Be patient.

In the words of me, "Relax."

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
7/24/08

And You Thought O.J. Had A Temper

Craig got himself thrown out of our rec league basketball game tonight less than five minutes into the contest.

And how?

Delay of game warning...followed by a few F-Bombs...followed by technical No. 1...followed by an overreacting ref...followed by another technical...followed by an ejection from the game...followed by an ejection from the building...followed by really loud F-Bombs and angrily tossed basketballs...followed by the rest of his teammates having to play the remaining 35 minutes with only four players.

And we lost...by one...in overtime...at the buzzer...against mammals who weren't in wheelchairs.

(Note: At halftime I checked my phone and noticed I had a new text message; it was from Craig. It was the least genuine thing I'd ever seen - it read, "Sorry.")

Craig and I will be podcasting about this (and more) tomorrow morning. I'll have it posted as soon as possible (ASAP).

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
7/23/08

I'm Getting Famous'r By The Second!

It's come to my attention that I (or perhaps more accurately, something I wrote about Yancy Gates) was recently the topic of discussion on a message board at something called BearcatLair.com. I'm not exactly sure what was written about me (I'm not a subscriber), but from what I understand I was called an idiot quite a bit. This is not surprising, as most people don't have the ability to open their eyes when it comes to assessing the teams they root for.

Oh well.

Anyway, one of the message board posters, a fellow named Evan, posted a lengthy opinion in my comments section, and I have responded to Evan. And would you believe me if I told you there was no name calling whatsoever? See for yourself, and don't be afraid to jump in the discussion.

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
7/22/08

College Football Gambling! (Exclamation Point)

www.vegasinsider.com (an Internet website) recently posted future odds for 2008 college football win totals. I don't want to overstate things, but this is bigger than the Kennedy assassination and the Challenger explosion combined.

This led to a semi-decent discovery on www.wikipedia.org...

Last night, as Craig and I were 76 minutes into a 144-minute telephone conversation ("Who should we take? Why? Why not?") the topic eventually turned to West Virginia (over 9.5). After weighing the pros and cons, we finally brought up former Mountaineer WR Darius Reynaud, someone we each consider to be a super being. Problem is, Craig believed he was still a part of the team, while I was almost positive Reynaud was out of eligibility. We headed to Reynaud's page on www.wikipedia.org to settle the score.

Sure enough, Reynaud came out early and went undrafted (somehow). But that's not the awesome part. How about this, from the Personal Life section of his page: "His favorite musical artists are LL Cool J, Lil Boosie, Lil Wayne, Lil John, and Lil Scrappy, but Lil Boosie over Lil Wayne."

What was that again? Lil Boosie, Lil Wayne, Lil John, and Lil Scrappy, but Lil Boosie over Lil Wayne.

I love that. I love the clarification at the end - ...but Lil Boosie over Lil Wayne.

Got it.

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
7/21/08

Chad Johnson Has The Scoop On Chris Henry

From an ESPN.com chat:

Justin (Ohio): Chad, Would signing Chris Henry make this a better football team and will it happen?

Chad Johnson: No, it is not going to happen. Once the situation goes down like that team's are not going to bring a player back. It is too bad. He is one of the best WR in the game, which is not known yet, and whoever gets him is going to be damn lucky.

What's worse than devastated? Because that's how I feel.

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
7/21/08

The Best Gas Prices On The Planet!

The last thing I want to do is cause a stampede - like I always preach, safety first. But I also think it's important that you receive the following information: The Monfort Heights Speedway (at North Bend and West Fork) is literally* giving gas away today.

(*By "literally," I mean it will only cost you three dollars and eighty-seven-and-nine-tenths cents to purchase a gallon of unleaded fuel.)

You can thank me later for the tip.

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKillng.com)
7/21/08

I Need The Reds To Win More Of Them Baseball Games

Perhaps you recall that I wagered several American dollars on the Reds winning more than 78 games this year. Had they won last night, they would have been ahead of pace. And I would have rejoiced (yelling and stuff). But they didn't. So I caused a commotion (yelling and stuff, but angry).

What makes this defeat so difficult is that, coupled with Sunday's loss to the Brewers, the Reds have faced two of the three best lefties in the NL (Sabathia and Santana - Hamels being the third lefty) in consecutive games and had victory snatched from them.

Current projection: 77 wins.

I need a new hobby.

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
7/18/08

Hi, Hello and Welcome: Part Eighteen (Relief Pitching Edition)

Moments after Jeff Brantley reminded viewers that Scott Schoeneweis has "only struck out nineteen batters this season," George Grande had these kind words about the lefty specialist:

"The good news for Schoeneweis, he's a strikeout machine; 37 innings, 19 strikeouts..."

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? Strikeout machine? Am I missing something? Is this opposite month? Since when is a strikeout rate of less than five per nine the work of a srikeout machine?

George Grande, your Reds television announcer since 1993!

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
7/17/08

Johnny Cueto Plays Sports For A Living!

Brett Tomko and Scott Williamson were two of my favorite Reds pitchers. Really! Both immensely talented, both monumental headcases. It was never difficult for me to pinpoint the moment when either would implode.

Johnny Cueto is just like them.

I would like to say my ability to identify Cueto's meltdowns is uncanny, but that can't be the case - it seems too easy. Regardless, I've never been so sure of anything as I was of Carlos Delgado's 4th inning HR (I even said as much after the count went 3-1 - ask my roommate). The sun was in Cueto's eyes, he started complaining, his body language was horrible and...BOOM...2-0 Mets.

Think about it...how many times have you seen Cueto--in the middle of a gem--give up a solo homer, followed by another, then a walk and another homer? Too many, right? Once he gets hit hard--even if it's just once over five or six innings--he becomes a noticeably different pitcher. I'm assuming this is nothing more than Cueto showing his age--he's been much better of late--but you never know if he'll ever figure it out.

My name is Brad Spieser, and flame-throwing Dominicans make me panic.

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
7/17/08

Jeff Brantley, Man Of Many Words

I've always said Jeff Brantley was an English major who happened to throw a 95 MPH two-seam fastball. Which is why, when he joined the Reds broadcast team before the '07 season, I was positively thrilled.

The Mississippi Wordsmith was at it again Thursday night. Here's how Brantley described one of Johnny Cueto's early-inning strikeouts: "The bottom just literally fell out."

(Note: I re-watched the same highlight a few dozen times and the ball seemed to stay in one piece. Who knows?)

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
7/17/08

Ohio State Football Is Bigger Than All Of Us

I have a good idea for those looking to get a reaction out of Buckeye fans: Tell them James Laurinaitis is overrated.

Believe me, I've been there. But on the giving end.

James Laurinaits is overrated (albeit pretty great).

(Chaos ensues)

I get creamed every time I mention that James Laurinaitis is overrated. There's a good reason for this: the vast majority of Ohio State fans (myself included, mostly) are lunatics, thus unable to understand the difference between overrated and worst football player in the history of football players. Overrated means one is not as good as they are generally perceived. Underrated, the opposite of that. But nowhere in those definitions did I say overrated means terrible and underrated means great.

Example: Tracy McGrady is overrated, while Eduardo Najera is underrated. Now, am I saying that Najera is better than McGrady? Of course not. It's seems obvious, right? Wrong. That's just not the way psychotic fans react when you throw out the dirty 'O' word.

Anyway, I might be coming around a bit on this Laurinaitis guy. Two different interviews I've read with his teammates really point to how great of a leader he is.

First, Marcus Freeman, with ESPN.com's Adam Rittenberg:

AR: I hate to make you describe a shower scene, but take me back to after the LSU loss when you and the other juniors talked about coming back for this season.

MF: Just a lot of emotion. Sitting on that bench and thinking, 'Hey, I don't think I'm going to come back and have this feeling again.' But we got in the shower, everybody's disappointed. I forget who was the first person to say something, but it was weird that all of us that had major decisions about coming back were all in the shower at the same time. (Alex) Boone or Malcolm (Jenkins) or someone said, 'Hey, I'm coming back. I'm not leaving college football like this.' And then James (Laurinaitis) said, 'I'm coming back, too,' and I said, 'I'm coming back, too.' We all knew we really had to go home and think about it, but that was the first feeling of, 'Hey, let's come back and do it one more time. Let's go out with a bang our senior year.'

Of those juniors, was there a guy who really surprised you by coming back?

MF: I definitely think both James and Malcolm. Any time you're in a situation to be a top-10 pick and you have the ability that they have, you're pretty certain that these guys are going to the NFL. I was very surprised when both of them said they were coming back, but I think if you really take a second and looked at their character, it's something that wouldn't surprise me. They love to be at Ohio State, they love college football, they love playing for Ohio State.

You've played with James for so long and you're always linked together. Does that ever frustrate you?

MF: That's a friendship that has grown since the first day we met. Me and James will be friends for the rest of our lives, no matter what happens here at Ohio State or in the NFL. I'm always proud of him and he's proud of me. We have a great competition between each other. We're each other's biggest critics. If I see James messing up, I'm gonna tell him and if he sees me messing up, he's gonna tell me. That's what true friends can do. They can tell you when you're messing up or when you need to pick it up. That's something we both do with each other. Looking over to my right or left, I know I'm going to have the utmost confidence in James to do his job, and I hope he has the same in me. It's not only a friendship, but a great teammate.


Next up, DT Dexter Larimore, with Scout.com's Bill Greene:

"I think there's a time and a place where you have to get in people's faces and be very vocal," Larimore stressed. "But for the most part true leadership is a way of life. It's being the guy that's early to practice or to the weight room. It's being the guy that's in the film room all the time. When you get ready to head for home and you see James and Marcus Freeman still in there working, it makes you get back in there and give more of yourself. They don't have to say a word and you know you need to match their commitment to the program. That's leadership. When we watch film and we see an All-American like James Laurinaitis busting his tail on every play and every single rep, that has an effect on the entire team. He's the best practice player, because he's the one giving 100% on every play. When you watch him in practice you see why he's so successful. He loves our team so much and he wants our team to excel so badly. That's why he does the things he does. It's all for the good of the team. That's leadership in my book. That's why he is the player he is and the person he is. We all follow his lead and hopefully we'll get back in the championship game again this year. As a group, we want to win a national championship so badly and that drives all of us every single day."


Listen, I'm usually pretty cynical when it comes to pieces like this - it's part of the reason I can barely stomach Bengals.com; as solid as Geoff Hobson is, he gets bated into believing that this will be the year for John Thornton - and then he convinces the average fan of the same thing. But anyway, I don't all-of-the-sudden think Laurinaitis is in A.J. Hawk's league (nor will I ever), and I still think he'll continue to pile up misleading tackling totals...BUT...he is obviously a heck of a player. And I just moved him up a notch in my personal rankings because of the glowing terms in which two of his teammates spoke of him.

Does that make me a sucker?

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
7/17/08

The Danger Of Parking Cars (Like Nissans And Whatnot)

Everyone has an arch-nemesis. Mine is named Tesh Patel. Recently he went down - Tesh Patel got what he deserved.

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
7/17/08

Television Shows About Sports (On Television)

If I was eight-years-old, and if I liked hockey, I'd never leave the house.

And why?

Because something called the NHL Network is currently running a show titled Top 10 Goaltending Performances of the 1991 Playoffs.

I'd love to make fun of this - really, I would. I could even say that it's somehow more ridiculous than Jerious Norwood's parents giving him the middle name of Montreal.

But that's not the case. I think it's pretty great that Grant Fuhr and Andy Moog have something to watch today.

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
7/17/08

Larkin vs. Biggio...Go!

The definitive word on Larkin vs. Biggio can be found at the bottom of this post. I have to say, the guy hit the nail on the head - although he somehow neglected to bring up Larkin's sizeable edge in handsomeness

Read up, people!

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
7/16/08

Ohio State Football...The New NyQuil

My version of counting sheep is pretty lame, but it works. I put on a pleasant movie I've seen a billion times (like The Life Aquatic or Swingers or Back to the Future II) to put me in a happy place and I simply listen to it with my eyes closed.

But that's only part of the equation. The lame part comes next.

The movie itself doesn't put me to sleep - so I have to think of something else that makes me happy. Without fail, it's Ohio State football. Every time. I know, I'm pathetic.

Here's how it works:

I name the current backups who have the potential to become stars. For whatever reason, I always start with Brian Rolle, who I am certain will be a monster. Following him are Thaddeus Gibson, Ross Homan, Chimdi Chekwa, Etienne Sabino, Terrelle Pryor (of course) and Lamaar Thomas (trust me). And I never consider offensive lineman (too boring). If I'm not yet asleep after rattling off the same names for the billionth straight day, I ponder the names of the gents who are in the "Others receiving votes" category. I always consider giving Ray Samll another chance, before moving on to the cases of Jermale Hines and Taurian Washington.

It is extremely rare for me to be awake at this moment. If so, I simply move on to an old staple: The depth chart. Nobody survives the depth chart.

So, as you can see, I'm completely insane. But doing this every night puts my mind in a joyous state before my 6.5-hour slumber.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that the Buckeyes are on my mind more than what is generally considered safe and/or reasonable. (Predictably, I'm single; I suppose that helps.) And I read everything I get my hands on. Whether it be Bucknuts, the Hineygate board, College Football News, Bruce Feldaman's blog, Phil Steele's preview magazine or the Heisman Pundit, I devour it all with hopes of attaining a little nugget that might excite me a little more for the upcoming college football season - as if that's possible.

To be continued...

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
7/16/08

Earthquakes Are No Big Deal

Chest pains...scary. Joey Dorsey...ditto. Riding the Backwards Racer as a seven-year-old...yep. Earthquakes...no big deal.

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
7/16/08

Josh Hamilton Is Slightly Better Than Decent

The new definition of footnote: Justin Morneau, 2008 Home Run Derby champion.

I was playing basketball against knee brace-sporting white men right about the time Josh Hamilton further proved something I already knew: He's the greatest baseball player in the history of baseball players who play baseball.

It was around 10:00 p.m. EST when I had my "Where were you when Kennedy was shot?" moment. Some gent in the "stands" had his computator with him, and shouted to nobody in particular the following information: "Hamilton hit 28 HRs in the first round!" I will truly never forget where I was when I heard such beauty.

(Thank God I Tivo'd that thing.)

I got out to my car a moment later only to find that my phone had been predictably bombarded with text messages (seven) and voice mails (four). The texts ranged from the obvious ("Josh Hamilton is God"), to the witty ("He sucks"), to the mean ("You glad you played basketball, idiot?"). (Note: The mean text message came directly from Craig's dirty fingers)

I didn't bother checking my voice mails until after I viewed the greatest show since PT Barnum's prime. Shortly after Hamilton obliterated Bobby Abreu's Derby record of 24 HRs in a single round, I checked my voice mail.

In one of those, my buddy Al summed up my feelings completely: "It brings a tear to my eye - I love him."

Just imagine if Edinson Volquez was merely pretty good thus far in '08, as opposed to being extraordinarily extraordinary...

Speaking of No. 36, if Bud Selig doesn't demand a third inning showdown between Hamilton and Volquez it will be the biggest screw-up in his tenure. Which says a lot. It's a semi-travesty that Volquez isn't starting the game, but this would at least salvage that. C'mon Bud, give the people what they want to see...

Other things's on my mind after Josh Hamilton blah blah blah:

Did anyone else see David Ortiz's first words to Hamilton at the end of round one? Just in case, here goes: "GOD DAMN!" Ortiz and Hamilton were sharing a handshake/half-hug when this happened, and I couldn't have laughed any louder. This is because Hamilton likes to thank his Lord and Savior approximately every eight seconds.

How many times do you think Rick Reilly mentioned Hamilton's battles with addiction? 70 times? 90 times? 64 trillion times? We get it, fella. Relax.

Kudos (or massive props, big ups, much love or good job) to the brilliant minds at Yankee Stadium who played music from The Natural after Hamilton's first round and Rocky music during the finals while he was struggling. And the fans need to be commended (or whatever) for recognizing Hamilton's otherworldly performance and trying to take him to another level with standing O after standing O. That be giving me goosebumps for real yo.

One final thought: Here's how you know Hamilton did something truly remarkable tonight...after he finished his opening round massacre the broadcast ceased being a home run derby; it was the Josh Hamilton Show. Nothing else was even remotely important. It reminded me of LeBron's first televised game at Akron St. Vincent/St. Mary's. I'll never forget, they were playing a loaded Oak Hill Academy team and ESPN decided it needed to be shown to the masses. Dickie V and Jay Bilas and Bill Walton were there - it was a BIG DEAL. But anyway, the reason I draw parallels between that night and tonight's Derby is that both broadcasts didn't bother talking about anything else except the obvious story. Oak Hill, as stated, was loaded (as always), but nobody cared - we were watching to see LeBron, and that's all the announcers discussed during the game.

The only difference, of course, is that we weren't expecting greatness tonight - we just knew it was possible.

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
7/15/08

Ever Wonder How Active Magic Johnson Was?

I'm not a doctor, which may explain the following: According to my math, it's impossible to get HIV after one session of unprotected intercourse. You have to earn it through years and years of determined effort. That being the case, I wonder how many partners Magic Johnson had between 1979 and 1991. Let's see...six, seven young ladies a day, multiplied by roughly 4,000 days...that makes for somewhere around 1.3 billion different partners. Yep, Magic Johnson earned his HIV.

But anyway, that's the sort of thing Craig and I discuss in our latest podcast, leftover crap--magic johnson sex--tiger woods scandal--airplane crash.

(Instead of telling you to listen, which doesn't seem to do the trick, how about this: Go play in traffic! This is my version of reverse psychology.)

Other things's heard on the podcast:

What would happen if Tiger Woods was involved in the dirtiest scandal possible (which may or may not involve young boys)?

Remember when you thought in order to survive a plane crash all you had to do was jump out ten feet before impact?

Did you realize a good shower will cure AIDS? It's true.

Now go play in traffic.

-Brad Speser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
7/13/08

LeKevin, J'Nathan, Ovinton J'Anthony, Herana-Daze...

For reasons I don't to need explain I was just browsing through Jerious Norwood's game logs from the past two seasons on pro-football-reference.com. Best decision I made all century.

And why?

Mr. Norwood's middle name is Montreal.

You couldn't make this stuff up.

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
7/13/08

Dave Concepcion And Barry Larkin Are Mammals!

The more I read the Kansas City Star's Joe Posnanski, the more I think he's the written version of Marty Brennaman - i.e., insanely loyal local fan base, well-known nationally but not on the level he deserves.

I've only been reading Posnanski for about a year now, and it's not been on a regular basis; it's usually when Rob Neyer links to him (which is often).

Neyer linked to Posnanski again this morning and I took the bait. The topic: Dave Concepcion's case for the Hall of Fame, and how it favorably compares to Omar Vizquel's eventual case. (Note: Posnaski is working on a book about the Big Red Machine.)

Two important things before moving forward:

1. I don't care about the Big Red Machine. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad it went down in my fair city, but it happened before my parents decided a fifth child was a good idea--I was negative five-years-old when Fisk hit the home run--therefore it's nothing but a bunch of old war stories. Okay, maybe that's a little harsh - I enjoy some of those old war stories, particularly the ones told by Brennaman or Pete Rose. But again, I didn't experience it...so I'm either jealous or bored. Perhaps both. Whatever it is, I don't really care. Which means that every time I hear Marty Brennaman clamoring for Dave Concepcion to make the Hall of Fame, I'm indifferent. I'd like to see him make it (the Cincinnati thing), but I didn't see him play. I have no opinion.

2. I love Barry Larkin more than you loved your first car and first girlfriend combined. Multiplied by infinity.

Within Posnanski's post--which is probably riveting (or whatever) for those who remain obsessed with the Big Red Machine--he brings up Larkin's name quite a bit. He even considers Larkin to be a "slam dunk, first ballot guy," which is something I think about far too often. I can't tell you how upset I get at the thought of Larkin never making the Hall of Fame, much less on the first ballot.

But anyway, Larkin...why is he forgotten? Why am I the only person in Cincinnati who remains outraged by the way the organization handled his retirement? The guy might be a Hall of Famer...he's unquestionably the best shortstop in Reds history...he's a Cincinnati kid, born and raised...and it's not like he played in the 1890's - he was patrolling the area between second and third as recently as 2004! So why does it go unnoticed when the great Barry Larkin comes to town as a member of the Washington Nationals' organization? (And no, it doesn't count when George Grande mentions Larkin's return in the same breath as Jim Bowden and Wily Mo Pena). Shouldn't we be celebrating the guy? It's not like Reds fans have had much to cheer for in the last fifteen years.

Facts: Bill James ranks Larkin as the sixth best shortstop, and the ninth most complete player of all time. Read that again. SIXTH! NINTH! IN THE HISTORY OF BASEBALL! Are you smarter than Bill James?

(Note: Not only are Posnanski and James firmly in Larkin's corner, but Jayson Stark wrote at length about Larkin in The Stark Truth: The Most Overrated and Underrated Players in Baseball History, so maybe I worry too much about Larkin's legacy. But anyway...)

Barry Larkin was a fixture with the Reds for almost two decades, and fans don't remember him the way supporters of a small-to-mid market franchise should. Why? Is it because he removed his captain C for a brief moment after Lenny Harris was traded in '98? That can't be the reason, can it? I'll assume it's not race-related, although a fundamentally perfect player like Larkin is the wet dream of the I Heart Ryan Freel Fan Club.

I need answers, dammit!

Venting session is over.

One last thing: Back in winter, just as I was returning from Vegas, and right about the time the Mitchell Report was released, Craig and I podcasted a little about both. One of our recordings never made it to "air." Because of everything you just read, I decided to put it on the podcast archive page - and now you can listen to it! It's less than two minutes long and it's appropriately titled barry larkin might cure cancer. It was about Craig Biggio, and how I hoped his name was mentioned in the Mitchell Report. The reason: Because I am a psycho who somehow compares Biggio and Larkin, even though they played different positions. I always considered Biggio overrated but still pretty great, just not as brilliant as Larkin.

As stated earlier, I love Barry Larkin more than you loved your first car and first girlfriend combined.

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
7/11/08

Do Homer Bailey and Brandon Phillips Have Anything In Common?

It's looking more and more like Homer Bailey will start for the Reds on Sunday...against CC Sabathia and the Brewers. In Milwaukee. Yikes. I ain't never were a Vegas oddsmaker, but I'm guessing you'll have to wager somewhere around $4200 to win a penny if you bet on Sabathia.

Talk about a paragraph (or at least a small grouping of sentences) I didn't see myself writing fifteen months ago. Back then Homer Bailey was a can't-miss superstar. I'm sure you remember.

But if you don't, take a look at two different questions Baseball America's Jim Callis answered in separate chats in May, 2007:

Jeremy (Sioux Falls, SD): You consider Hughes a better prospect than Gallardo, Bailey, Garza, etc?

Jim Callis: Yep. Lincecum, too. I'd go Hughes, Bailey, Lincecum at the top of my pitching prospects list. Really, though, those three are pretty interchangeable.

rob (philly): Rank the young NL arms over the next 5 years: Hamels, Cain, Lincecum, Bailey, Pelfrey.

Jim Callis: Lincecum, Cain, Bailey, Hamels, Pelfrey. And I really like Hamels.

To summarize: Just last spring Callis lumped Bailey in with S.I. cover boy Lincecum and ahead of Garza (currently 11th in the AL in ERA)...not to mention his projection that Bailey would be better than Cole Hamels over the next five years! Cole Hamels was already an established Major League stud when Callis answered this question!

So clearly, it's easy to call the well-respected Callis an idiot, as his projections have very little chance of proving true.

But what if something is wrong with Bailey? What if he's dealing with a nagging injury that nobody knows about? Maybe that's the real reason his current velocity doesn't resemble the pre-2007 scouting reports. Or maybe he's still developing, still figuring it out.

From Rob Neyer's blog Wednesday:

"Perhaps the highlight of the convention was a panel consisting of Indians GM Mark Shapiro and minor league operator Mike Veeck. Shapiro was surprisingly honest about various matters, admitting that the Indians didn't wait long enough for Brandon Phillips to develop."

Don't give up Homer Bailey just yet.

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
7/10/08

Craig Meets The Great Doug Gottlieb

It's not often an Ohioan (one from Ohio) gets to meet a C-List celebrity in Los Angeles, but that's precisely what happened to Craig when he visited California about a month ago.

As you may recall from his encounters with A-Listers such as Keyshawn Johnson and Evander Holyfied (which can be found on the media player at the top of the page), Craig has no problem kicking up conversation and making these guys feel uncomfortable. When he ran into Gottlieb, who was relaxing by the pool while sending/receiving text messages, he had no such luck; Gottlieb was a pretty good sport. As I expected.

Among the stuffs one broadcast veteran (Craig) asked the other (Gottlieb):

-Why did you wear smaller shoes when you played?

-Did you ever get drunk with Eddie Sutton? (Which, somehow, led to Craig defending Chris Henry)

-How did a Jew end up at Notre Dame?

You're excited to listen now - I can feel it.

So go ahead and enjoy craig meets doug gottlieb. You will only be somewhat disappointed.

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwnKilling.com)
7/10/08

The Freakonomics Guys Are Smarter Than Me

Important Note: The podcast I begged you to listen to is NOT on the media player at the top of the page - many of you made that mistake. Craig might not cry if his sister died can be heard here. I thought I made that quite clear to you mammals, but anyway, no hard feelings. And now, your featured blog post...

The first book I read after reading Malcolm Gladwell's The Tipping Point and Blink was Freakonomics; I knocked all three of them out in something like ten days. And as impressed as I was with the outside-the-box thinking of Freakonomics, I wasn't in love with it the way seemingly everybody else was. Oh, it was interesting, but it wasn't nearly as well written as Gladwell's joints. Who knows - maybe I just picked the wrong time to read the thing...

Anyway, my favorite chapters in Stephen J. Dubner and Steven D. Levitt's bestseller were (of course) the mind-blowing abortion chapter, but also the one that looks into the importance of a first name, and how it plays a role in career success.

A recent blog posting by Levitt asks the question How Much Does It Cost You in Wages if You "Sound Black?":

"blacks who "sound black" earn salaries that are 10 percent lower than blacks who do not "sound black," even after controlling for measures of intelligence, experience in the work force, and other factors that influence how much people earn. (For what it is worth, whites who "sound black" earn 6 percent lower than other whites.)"

Imagine if Eminem spoke like me...

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
7/8/08

I'll Remove My Top If You Listen To Our Latest Podcast!

I find it impossible to believe that Bob and Tom has entertained anybody. Ever. In the history of the world. It's a remarkably unfunny radio show with forced laughter and no honesty.

Which is a depressing realization, actually. But anyway, I have something for your ears: Our latest podcast, "craig might not cry if his sister died."

It's the antithesis of Bob and Tom (or Alan Cutler, or whoever). It's genuinely funny, it's not forced, it's bloody honest and it illustrates two hosts with perfect chemistry.

I ask you: Isn't that the idea of talk radio? Since the answer is obviously Yes, then why is radio and podcasting, save for a handful of examples (Howard Stern, Steve Czaban, Keith and The Girl to name three), undeniably dreadful?

Even though I have the answer (pathetic talent pool and shortsighted decision makers) I can't do anything about it - other than recording my own podcast and hoping for the best.

Which brings me back to "craig might not cry if his sister died."

In exactly seven minutes we find out, among other things, which sibling's death would extract the most tears from Craig. We also get to hear why The Snake has their mom cut his grass. Also, Craig talks about his brief encounters with his absentee father.

Whether the topic is serious or not, we keep a humorous tone throughout, and it sounds as if Craig and I are having this discussion in your living room (which is the goal of talk radio).

I'm not even sure this is our best work, but I know it's better than almost everything you'll listen to on your drive to work tomorrow. Radio hosts try to be funny, but (by and large) they're not. They think they're entertaining, but they're boring. Craig and I? We're a lot of things, but we're not boring.

And now--after enduring my somewhat biased opinion--it's begging time.

Listen to craig might not cry if his sister died. Listen to it and give me your $0.02. Think back to the last time you listened to Alan Cutler (pictured above) and ask yourself if Craig and I could easily handle that job. Please. Do it for me. IT WILL ONLY TAKE SEVEN MINUTES OF YOUR LIFE!

The reason this is so important to me? Because not enough people are listening to the podcasts. It's not that they've listened and not come back...it's that they've never even given it a shot (I'm talking close friends and family members, too). The number of listeners I have pale in comparison to TwinKilling's readership - for the life of me I'll never understand this.

Your seven minutes begins...NOW!

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
7/6/08

Hi, Hello And Welcome: Part Seventeen (Austin Kearns Edition)

Lexington, Ohio is an actual place (it exists and stuff).

From Wikipedia: Lexington is a village in Richland County in the U.S. state of Ohio.

Other things's learned about Lexington, Ohio: As of 2000, the makeup of the village is 97.17% White (shocking, I know). Also, former Michigan State basketball participant Jamie Feick once called Lexington, Ohio home (in fact, he may still call Lexington home - Wikipedia was pretty vague.)

For whatever reason there was no mention of Austin Kearns being a Lexington, Ohio native. And I have a pretty good idea why...

Because Austin Kearns was born and raised in Lexington, Ky! And anyone who is remotely familiar with the Cincinnati Reds knows this. George Grande, on the other hand, does not. Somehow.

He mentioned Austin Kearns and Lexington, Ohio three or four times before being corrected in between innings. This is almost as funny as the Ford Tundra incident. Or the time he butchered the pronunciation of Todd Portune's name.

George Grande, your Reds television announcer since 1993!

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
7/6/08

Prepare For Disappointment: The Yancy Gates Experience

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, Bearcats fans, but one day this November you will find yourself shouting the following line towards your Samsung television as the Bearcats play Athletes in Action (or whoever): I hate watching this guy play.

And the "this guy" will be former Withrow star Yancy Gates.

If you follow recruiting, you've heard the stories. The stories usually mention laziness and attitude problems. And if you're like me, you choose to ignore them and decide for yourself. Well, I decided to see for myself at the Deveroes League, and the results weren't pretty.

(Before going any further, let's get something straight: Yes, Gates is talented, and blessed with a spectacular body, but he's not the 6'9 superfreak he's made out to be. He's nowhere near as gifted as Dontonio Wingfield, and his raw athleticism isn't in the same galaxy as Kenyon Martin; his on-court movement lacks suddenness. And while he's been billed as a pretty good perimeter shooter, that is dubious. His technique is pretty awful--he's never squared up and his shooting motion is not unlike a Bill Cartwright free throw--and it takes forever for him to release it. This is a bad thing when you consider how much hovering Gates does near the three-point line.)

Anyway...

I've now seen him up close twice and I can tell you the horror stories are true.

Let's do some counting:

1. When he gets a defensive rebound (which is rare), he takes forever to outlet the ball (which stunts the fastbreak, a summer league staple) before jogging up court.

My take: The laziness factor doesn't bother me here nearly as much as the obvious selfishness. As a lover of fastbreak basketball--something Mick Cronin desperately wants--nothing aggravates me more than a big man who slowly outlets the ball because he won't be able to join the fun. This is horrible news for Cashmere Wright, who thrives on pushing the pace.

2. In a game last Tuesday Gates caught the ball about fifteen feet from the basket (between the extended elbow and the baseline) and passed the ball to an area where he expected a cutter. No cutter. Also, no big deal - after all, getting to know your new teammates is part of the equation with summer hoops, right? Wrong. It was a big deal to Gates. He threw up his hands at said non-cutter, as if to say, what's wrong with you?

My take: If you think I'm making a problem where there isn't one you didn't see what I did. His body language was terrible. I've played basketball with people like Gates--you probably have, too--and it's an awful experience. Basketball isn't fun when your teammates don't have your back.

3. Gates continually argued with "coach" D'Juan Baker during a timeout in last Tuesday's game.

My take: Gates was way out of line. Regardless of Baker's current role, he's still closely tied to his alma mater, and there to monitor the big man's growth.

Do I need to continue? Do I need to question his toughness, which is virtually nonexistent? I won't bother; I think you get my point.

(Something that warrants mentioning: I've never wanted to be so wrong about something as this. I'm rooting like hell for Yancy Gates. He plays for the Cincinnati Bearcats, and that happens to be my college basketball team of choice (that actually understates the matter; I throw things when they lose). I hope Mick Cronin can get him to play as hard as Danny Fortson. I hope Mick Cronin will disprove my belief that energy and effort are a matter of DNA. I hope the Pacific is as blue as it is in my dreams. I hope.)

Again, anyway...

Gates has been (at times) labeled as a savior. That simply isn't the case. I'm considering him a project with considerable upside. That way, I can rejoice if and when he becomes a contributor. As for now, I see myself truly despising his lacking heart and poor attitude. And I'm pretty sure you'll be joining me.

Hey, we've been there before with talented underachievers: Do the names Robert Whaley and Armein Kirkland ring a bell?

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
7/3/08

The Epitome Of A Productive Day

A few thousands times a day I receive variations of the same question, via email: What do you do all day?

And I always take it as a slight. The way I see it, you people seem to think I do nothing with my time - that I neglect this website for no good reason. Let me tell you, nothing could be further from the truth.

Take today, for instance: I just spent the last 45 minutes on Grambling State University's website, deciding on which T-shirt to purchase. For the record, I chose this one.

Now get off my case!

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
7/3/08

Edinson Volquez Scares Me And Whatnot

I like to think of myself as one who knows a thing or twelve about sports. Which means I probably shouldn't panic when Edinson Volquez throws fastball after fastball between 87 and 89 MPH (miles per hour). But you know what? I'm panicking. Because that's what I do. The same thing happens with the Bengals and Buckeyes. Whenever I see Carson Palmer or Chris Wells limping I'm convinced they'll never be able to walk again. Perhaps this disposition started when Kenyon Martin snapped his leg in the spring of 2000, I don't know. What I do know, however, is that until Volquez is consistently pumping fastballs in the mid-90's again, one thought won't stop running through my head: Volquez needs Tommy John...Volquez needs Tommy John...

I hate myself. I hate Jim Day. I hate David Weathers.

Another quick thought: Does anyone else find it odd that Ken Griffey Jr only had two walk-off hits as a member of the Mariners? Two! Five with the Reds, two with the M's, when he was the best player in baseball. Strange. Somebody, anybody, alert Jayson Stark!

(Picture note: I have no idea what's going on in that picture, but goddamn do I love giraffes.)

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
7/1/08

Hi, Hello And Welcome: Part Sixteen (Made Up Word Edition)

George Grande, while speaking of Ken Griffey's likely spot in the All Star game, called him a "ballotee." Whatever that means...

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
7/1/08

Hi, Hello And Welcome: Part Fifteen (Still An Idiot)

I have a fun idea:

Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's Buc-O's

I figure if I do this every six minutes for the next thousand years I will have caught up to George Grande! So I have that going for me, which is nice.

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
7/1/08

Hi, Hello And Welcome: Part Fourteen (George Grande Is An Idiot)

If you're scoring at home, George Grande just promoted The Best Sports Show Period (a show that technically doesn't exist) by mentioning tonight's guests. Shockingly, he screwed up. Royally.

He referred to the semi-brilliant actor Don Cheadle as John Cheadle and called Hasim Rahman (pronounced "Rock-mahn"), the former heavyweight champion, Hashim Rashawn and Hashim Ramen (like the cheap noodle).

George Grande, your Reds television announcer since 1993!

-Brad Spieser (Brad@TwinKilling.com)
7/1/08