Sunday, July 27, 2008

I'm Worth 28 Tanks Of Unleaded Fuel (Which Makes Mom Proud)

Friday afternoon, as I'm mentally preparing myself for a night of drunkenness, this arrived in my inbox (from reader K.G.):

"Does it excite you that on your websites listed value is $1,460.60?"

My response: "Of course! This is more thrilling than the first 75 times I rode the Vortex (and/or had sexual intercourse)! Thanks for relaying this wonderful news!"

I think I was so excited because of the exactness of it - you know, because $1,460 (or a rounded-up $1,500) wouldn't have been accurate enough.

Now, you might be wondering--as I was Friday afternoon--just what is I don't know much beyond the basics, but it allows you to simply check the worth of all websites. (Not unlike checking out the availability of domain names on Go Daddy, it's oddly addictive. Especially when you have a horse in the fight. That is, especially when you're a hyper-competitive maniac with a horse in the fight.) All you have to do is type the name of a website in the box and press Enter. Depending on connection speed, you should have your answer in less than 0.000000000009iy34iu4kklkmlu40932iu40932984239492394 seconds - which I'm told is pretty good.

So how did I decide to size up versus the competition? By checking out websites I'd never even visited, of course.

(Note: My miniature test netted predictable--yet funny--results. And it might tell us more about the rest of the world than it does about this very decent website.)

First website checked: Estimated worth? $8,745.40.

Next (drum roll...): Estimated worth? $36,843.10. Big shock, eh?

Last (for no valid reason): Estimated worth? $1,175.30. Hooray for me!

Conclusion: (1.) Guys are horny scumbags, (2.) I'm more valuable than my favorite wrestler of all time - $285.30 more valuable, to be exact, and (3.) websiteoutlook is more than a little awesome.

(New podcasts shall be posted soon.)

-Brad Spieser (