Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Posture, Baby. Posture. (Meet The 90-Degree Angle Lady

I'm assuming you've been to the Monfort Heights Walgreens (at the corner of North Bend and West Fork). If not, you're missing out on something pretty great. And by "pretty great," I mean they have an employee -- an older woman -- whose body is a 90-degree angle. I'm not exaggerating, either. Her legs are vertical, and the rest of her body is parallel to the ground. And best I can tell, she can't do a damn thing about it. When I go to purchase soap, or raisin bran, or Trapper Keepers, or whatever, there is no eye contact whatsoever. Hell, there isn't even an attempt. I have to slide my product (or products) directly under her nose so she knows what to ring in.

I know you think I'm making fun, but that's simply not the case. For one, she's pretty damn efficient. For two, I'm just amazed by this woman, and I'm more than a little surprised a word-of-mouth phenomenon hasn't spread throughout Cincinnati as a direct result of what's going on at the Monfort Heights Walgreens. I mean, really, why aren't cars lining up to see the great 90-Degree Angle Lady the way cars lined up to see Ray Kinsella's baseball field?

And why hasn't the circus called? I'd pay fifteen bucks to watch her do nothing but stand there.

How does she drive? Knowing what I know, this seems kind of impossible.

How does she sleep? Does Craftmatic even make a bed that accommodates her?

How did she get the job? She must have lights-out interviewing skills.

Questions, man. Questions.

-Brad Spieser (


Daniel Phillips said...

If you have a camera phone, I beg you to take a picture of her. I'm sure there is a way you could do it without her seeing, point and take the picture like you normally would...she'll be too busy admiring the clean/dirty floors.