Monday, August 17, 2009

The Nonsense Surrounding Terrelle Pryor's Forty Time...

I didn't start a website simply as an excuse to read other blogs and tear them apart-----although I probably should; that's far easier than what I have going on. It's also cheap. Anyway, I prefer to watch things unfold and give my $0.02 when the time is right (i.e., when I'm not too sleepy). But this time, some ignoramus named Mark Hinton has given me no choice but to operate in the same fashion as all the blogs I'll never read.

Mark Hinton writes for Yahoo! Sports, which gives him credibility. Somehow.

Mark Hinton, credibility and all, recently wrote a highly irresponsible piece (and an equally irresponsible follow-up) about the speed of Ohio State QB Terrelle Pryor.

Despite evidence to the contrary, and without (I'm guessing) a close connection to the program, Hinton claims that it's impossible for a 6'5, 235-lb. mammal to run forty yards in 4.33 seconds.

According to Jackass Mark Hinton, a credible sportswriter holding a job I would punch my Aunt Dorothy for, here's a list of the reasons Terrelle Pryor supposedly can't run 40 yards in 4.33 seconds (followed by my response):

1. Jackass Mark Hinton says: Only one player ran a faster time at last year's NFL combine.

My winning response: And? What point does that prove? All it means to me is that Pryor would've been the second fastest player at last year's NFL combine. It's not like Pryor ran a 2.6, while the best time at last year's combine was 18.3, you know? We're talking about hundredths of seconds here, pal.

2. Jackass Mark Hinton says: At 6'5, Pryor's simply too tall to run a 4.33 40-yard dash.

My winning response: Usain Bolt is the fastest man on Earth, and he's 6'5. Calvin Johnson (6'5, 239) is the exact same size as Pryor, and he posted a 4.35 at last year's combine. Where was the outrage then?

3. Jackass Mark Hinton says: Pryor's too heavy.

Brad Spieser says...Dwight Freeney, at 266 lbs., and Vernon Davis, at 253 lbs., each ran 4.38 40s at the combine. Not quite 4.33, but not much difference, either. And...we're talking about thirty additional pounds for Freeney, and twenty for Davis.

4. Hinton says: Pryor's a QB, and QB's shouldn't be running that fast.

My winning response: Are defensive ends like Freeney and tight ends like Davis supposed to be running that fast? No, but they did. And when they did, everyone conceded that they were freaks of nature (a designation Pryor has held for some time now).

5. Jackass Mark Hinton says: The University of Florida's football team currently has four players listed with sub-4.3 forty times, and that seems fishy.

My winning response: What does one thing have to do with another? Things seem fishy at Florida...okay. Got it. That's Florida. How does that have anything to do with an otherworldly athlete in Ohio running forty yards faster than I can say Anbesol?

6. Jackass Mark Hinton says: Usain Bolt's first 40 yards of his record-breaking sprints likely don't break 4.3 seconds.

My winning response: Well, when I was 9-years-old I was the world's biggest fan of Carl Lewis and the Santa Monica Track Club. Hell, I used to record their events on Saturday and Sunday afternoons (seriously!)......and anyway, it seemed pretty obvious to me -- twenty goddamn years ago, well before I touched my first female nipple -- that sprinters do not peak over the first forty yards. Nobody is saying Pryor is faster than Bolt-----but they might have comparable times over a forty-yard stretch.

7. Jackass Mark Hinton says: Vince Young ran a 4.58 40-yard-dash at Texas, and he weighed 228 lbs.

My winning response: Oh, I just love this one. So, let me get this straight: Since Pryor is most often compared to Young...and because Young was wonderfully excellent in college...and since they are roughly the same's flat-out impossible for Pryor to be faster than him? Lovely.

Ever heard of evolution, moron?

-Brad Spieser (